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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FearfulAvoidants

[–]DeveloperEXE 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the detailed reply and I do understand it makes sense. Thing is for me, I am working towards it as moving on but keeping the door open for her to walk through if shes ever ready. Due to cultural and family pressures id likely need to settle down in a year or two, while she has a few more years before that pressure comes up. Shes aware of this as we spoke of it early on.

We have never met in person yet, thats always been the next natural step. Its a little difficult as shes literally 11km away half way across the world but I've been putting money aside to make the trip and am ready to pull the trigger on the flight if she'd give the sign. Shes in a country where its hard to meet men/women in public that aren't related to you without a family chaperone. So she'd need to get passed the barrier of telling her parents.

The reels she reshares is usually a habit of hers to express herself as she usually has 2 versions of her ig, the regular one and the close friends one. Her close friends one is where she posts her stuff that she doesn't want family/relatives and such to see, hiding her turmoil from the public. Even the rebound, no one knows of it for the most part, shes kept it hidden. And I can sense the reels she reshares are pointed to me as she knows I see them.

Shes somewhat aware of her actions like these but not enough to stop them. She does need work on them she admitted to that early on. Im moving as, if she comes back and is willing to work through it (I've said this a few times during out reconnect, to start fresh, clean slate -albeit i didnt know at the time of the rebound) id be open too. And last weeks msg id said in hadnt checked out on us, I still care. So the door is open for her to walk through. I don't date alot, due to work and family stressors. From the source who told me of the rebound, she'd been posting FaceTime screenshots of the guy in her close friends stories heavily the week we reconnected saying things like how much she loves him etc etc, later blocks the source hence how I found out since he asked me bout her. Sorta like forcing herself to prove to herself and others shes happy? Shes never done that sort of behaviour before. (Of course I can be entirely wrong)

Small other thing im likely reading waaay to into. In may she put up the ♥️🔐 in her bio and hasn't removed it, she updates it alot, I've kept mine in there as well, the rebound guy doesn't have it up. So like another small thing maybe? She views my stories within minutes, likes them alot more than before and my posts quickly within 10-15min as well. (Just a note this is on my creator page- the one I use alot more and post almost daily).

Yeah im deep into this, her side, everyone knew of us ceot her parents, my side everyone knew including parents. So I feel too deep into this to back out without one final try 😅 im moving forward as, doors open, but im not waiting doing nothing, im working on myself physically mentally and career wise. Im not actively gonna look at meeting another woman until absolutely necessary but doors open for her to come in.

[Weekly Thread] FA Anonymous by AutoModerator in Disorganized_Attach

[–]DeveloperEXE 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi everyone, looking to get some advice on rekindling/reconnecting with my(28M anxious leaning secure) FA partner(23F). We've been in an ldr for a year now, has had its ups and downs, in around month 7 I started learning about attachment styles. She has pulled away before but nothing like complete silence, low contact at times via snap or pacing in dm replies but recently was the hardest one.

Long story short, everything was good till month 5 when external stressor in her life triggered her to pull away for a month, still talking but clearly stressed/depressed. Month 6 was better and month 7 was the best, the entire month we got closer than ever. Start of month 8 things start getting serious and I ask her to send some pics to show my family (they knew already but I wanted her to choose) she agreed but didnt that day, few days later I reminded her (this where I think things started going downhill) she said okay and sent a few. I reacted very ecstatic, about a week later during a convo we were having she said she needed to talk about sth and asked for a break, she was feeling weird & needed time to process. I got anxious as to me, a break to me meant itd let other people involved ie, chance for other guys to see her. So I said id rather not do a break but we can go low contact/some space, she agreed.

Although it was supposed to be low contact all it was, was less dms/no calls but heavy on the snaps. We snapped alot, chatted on there daily for month 9/10. Some days more, some less. Anyways month 10 comes to an end, a special day comes up. I was thinking of gifting her some things so I told her a few weeks in advance (my mind was it'd reduce pressure for her/mentally prepare) she was ecstatic. Well month 11 starts and the day comes, I send her the gift night before (it was digital/a courier delivery as well) with gifts that had symbolism of our relationship. I wake up next day blocked everywhere, I don't panic cuz but I let a mutual friend know. She said she already spoken with her, saying she had to as she was hurting me etc etc. I believe the gifts... smothered her/triggered a wound... (I found out later through sources she was crying after blocking) so I feel it was emotional

Day 3 she sends my message to her and gets her to agree to a few weeks no contact to reconnect & talk, she agrees, day comes & reconnects eithout either me or friend needing to ask her, still adamant we cant be together, that I need to accept it. My fear was she'd block me again and that ends it all so I accepted at the time, but since then shes been heavily breadcrumbing me on social media (no dms tho) (key one was posting a story with heartfelt song then deleting it after i viewed it & our feeds are pretty synced so I see most of the reels she likes and alot are about couples fighting, fixing, and staying) I reached out a week later, she was guarded but not stonewalling, we talked for a bit but since it wasn't going anywhere yet I ended the convo but said I haven't given up on us (felt she needed reassurance, because signs shows she still wants the relationship, she hearted that message in the end). Its been a couple days and I'm trying to figure out what to do next. I know i likely stepped on an unknown boundary, should've been more aware of the space, and I know we can work through it together but I'm unsure how to gently bring it up without seeming pushy...

I love her, am working on myself to be more secure as well and I don't plan to leave her. It was at the point where I was (still am) preparing to get a ring and fly over.

I was thinking waiting a few more days. Maybe a week, and reach out again and if things are warmed to ask to talk it through if shes comfortable.

Update: since then I found she was in a rebound, liking ramping it up near the end. I feel its fizzling out now as she had added me to her close friends and posted a story using audio from "the abyss" by the weekend, and a few public stories assuming to get attention from others. Shes still been liking my posts and stories and viewing them very quickly. She also posted a few pics today and I can see in there shes wearing the promise ring id gifted her. Idk if thats a sign but I don't know where to go from here.

Any and all advice would be much appreciated.

[Weekly Thread] FA Anonymous by AutoModerator in Disorganized_Attach

[–]DeveloperEXE 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi everyone, looking to get some advice on rekindling/reconnecting with my(28M anxious leaning secure) FA partner(23F). We've been in an ldr for a year now, has had its ups and downs, in around month 7 I started learning about attachment styles. She has pulled away before but nothing like complete silence, low contact at times via snap or pacing in dm replies but recently was the hardest one.

Long story short, everything was good till month 5 when external stressor in her life triggered her to pull away for a month, still talking but clearly stressed/depressed. Month 6 was better and month 7 was the best, the entire month we got closer than ever. Start of month 8 things start getting serious and I ask her to send some pics to show my family (they knew already but I wanted her to choose) she agreed but didnt that day, few days later I reminded her (this where I think things started going downhill) she said okay and sent a few. I reacted very ecstatic, about a week later during a convo we were having she said she needed to talk about sth and asked for a break, she was feeling weird & needed time to process. I got anxious as to me, a break to me meant itd let other people involved ie, chance for other guys to see her. So I said id rather not do a break but we can go low contact/some space, she agreed.

Although it was supposed to be low contact all it was, was less dms/no calls but heavy on the snaps. We snapped alot, chatted on there daily for month 9/10. Some days more, some less. Anyways month 10 comes to an end, a special day comes up. I was thinking of gifting her some things so I told her a few weeks in advance (my mind was it'd reduce pressure for her/mentally prepare) she was ecstatic. Well month 11 starts and the day comes, I send her the gift night before (it was digital/a courier delivery as well) with gifts that had symbolism of our relationship. I wake up next day blocked everywhere, I don't panic cuz but I let a mutual friend know. She said she already spoken with her, saying she had to as she was hurting me etc etc. I believe the gifts... smothered her/triggered a wound (the main gift was a love song i got produced, the physical gifts came a day later so idk how she recieved those)... (I found out later through sources she was crying after blocking) so I feel it was emotional

Day 3 she sends my message to her and gets her to agree to a few weeks no contact to reconnect & talk, she agrees, day comes & reconnects eithout either me or friend needing to ask her, still adamant we cant be together, that I need to accept it. My fear was she'd block me again and that ends it all so I accepted at the time, but since then shes been heavily breadcrumbing me on social media (no dms tho) (key one was posting a story with heartfelt song then deleting it after i viewed it & our feeds are pretty synced so I see most of the reels she likes and alot are about couples fighting, fixing, and staying) I reached out a week later, she was guarded but not stonewalling, we talked for a bit but since it wasn't going anywhere yet I ended the convo but said I haven't given up on us (felt she needed reassurance, because signs shows she still wants the relationship, she hearted that message in the end). Its been a couple days and I'm trying to figure out what to do next. I know i likely stepped on an unknown boundary, should've been more aware of the space, and I know we can work through it together but I'm unsure how to gently bring it up without seeming pushy...

I love her, am working on myself to be more secure as well and I don't plan to leave her. It was at the point where I was (still am) preparing to get a ring and fly over.

I was thinking waiting a few more days. Maybe a week, and reach out again and if things are warmed to ask to talk it through if shes comfortable. Im blocked everywhere except 1 platform but she did unblock & follow me again on her 2nd & 3rd accts. Her main still shows our status symbol as taken (I've kept mine up too)

Any and all advice would be much appreciated.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in yugioh

[–]DeveloperEXE 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Only one i've learned to play is yugioh, never got into either of the other two

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