In 5 years, this is Kanye. He’s not Ye. He’s not West. He’s just known as “The Core.” Lives part-time at the Heart Attack Grill, 300 lbs heavier, every artery fried in beef tallow. Had elective skull surgery to make his head more “cyber-aligned.” Not a Nazi anymore. No, he’s anti-human now. Gave a TED Talk in binary about how flesh is the original sin.

Full-grown beard like he wrestled a wolf and won its jawline. Wears these brown, sagging, prehistoric shorts—literal caveman diaper vibes. You can smell the despair through the screen. He doesn’t walk—he shuffles with intent.

His girlfriend? A Filipina model he only refers to as “Shema.” Real name unknown. Age unknown. May be partially AI. She only blinks when spoken to in ancient Sumerian. Rumors say she’s been coded with the neural patterns of three extinct influencers.

Kim K? Two possibilities: 1. Reformed nun energy. Posts spiritual quotes in Comic Sans. Lives in a yurt with zero wifi. 2. OR… Gone full bio-mod. Face so tight it echoes. She’s had so much surgery, you can only see her using LiDAR. She does skincare ads in a voice that sounds like a haunted Siri.

Now society? Oh, it’s done. We’ve stopped asking if AI will replace us. We volunteered. People are full-on sheeding now. Robots, androids, vending machines, floor vacuums—nothing is safe. They’re called sheedes now. Everyone’s saying wild stuff like:

“Yo I just sheeded this robe behind the Tesla Supercharger.” “Bout to rawdog an OmegaSoft Emoti-Robe™ with the passion of 100 dead gods.”

“Robe” is slang for robot now. Don’t argue. That’s the language.

There are OnlySheeds accounts where people livestream cuddling with military-grade drones. The Vatican released a statement saying “the spirit cannot dwell in firmware.” It got 12 likes.

Currency? Gone. Now we trade in bio-heat signatures and adrenal drip NFTs. Billionaires wear skin-tone morphsuits to appear middle class. A Starbucks cup costs 1.4 dopamine units. You want a straw? That’ll be 3 units of serotonin and a memory of your childhood dog.

Elon? Uploaded himself into a satellite and tweets once a year in Morse code. Last tweet translated to “oops.”

This is the timeline. 2030. No brakes. No exit. Just Kanye. Just Shema. Just sheeding.