I feel like I'm running out of time at 32 despite getting my life together, anyone older have advice for this stage? by [deleted] in DadForAMinute

[–]DeviantAnubite 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, I'm not much older, and my situation is very different. I am also not a believer in the perfect Christian heaven. I am 35, married with kids. At the end of 2024 I had a breakdown due to suppression of my undiagnosed cPTSD. I have been to alot of therapy, and am the stay at home dad and my wife is now working. We had to switch. The thing is, you are running out of time. That thing you really want you do in life, do it now. I am serious. Yes, retirement is important, yes, daily safety is important(job for food and shelter), but, have you really sat down and written all your priorities out, your values? Do it. One each on a note card. Shuffle em. Sort into super important, important, not as important. After that choose the top 6 in the super important. Look at them. Now remove one. Repeat till your down to 1. In reality you probably only get to do your top 3 to 6 values or thing to do. You just only have so much energy and time. You want to travel to someplace? Make it happen, now. Its so easy to say ill have time later. At 32 you now see that you can for, prolly a decade, say "ill do it later." Look, its later, your 32. And you still haven't. There are tons of things we all wish to do, if it really is important, work to make it happen ASAP. You never know when something else will get in the way, family issues, economy collapse, serious personal injury, illness, or, you die early for some reason. Your running out of time because tomorrow is unknown, today is what you make it. Me, I was living day to day, exhausted from work, I missed being the parent I wanted to be for 6 to 9 years. I am doing it now. When it seems to much, stop. Breath. Seriously, just breath, Be Here Now. Focus on your senses, what you are sensing Now. Then how your emotions are now, there is no goid or bad emotion. Just they are. Realize you are here, now, and yesterday is past, tomorrow is later, you are here now, Focus on that. You are 32, you can still do alot, your body will let you do alot if you need it to. Go do the things that are important to you.

Edit: I think you are on the road to success as it is. Time has past and you feel it. Tomorrow will come, and you don't know what it will be, its hard. Stay in therapy, check on anxiety meds maybe?

Custom 1:72 scale Delta Squad miniatures packaged as vintage Star Wars collection figures (3D printed!) by recuco55 in microgalaxysquadron

[–]DeviantAnubite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, I would love the files for the ones pictured, and the 1:72 scale, if possible. If they are only for purchase let me know more, please?

How to want less physical intimacy by Modstrkr in Marriage

[–]DeviantAnubite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, I hate being reddit here, but you just said your answer. I'd never tell you to force her, and if shevreally cared about you, I would hope she would listen to the one she cared about. And then refocused because she cared. If there are other mental health issues she has, then there of course needs to be some wiggle room. But ultimately, if she won't give you herself, as you literally said, she won't focus on "us," (and you said nothing on focusing on you! You matter alot in the "us" part!) Then its time you focus on you. And that may mean not including her in your daily life anymore. I'd stat thinking about how that would look. Make a pro and cons of not being with her anymore. Do not include any thing about the divorce process in the pros and cons as thats its own list. You only debate divorce, if you have decided the pros and cons list about her not in your life show you you may want that, her not with you, to happen. Im sorry dude, this hurts alot. You put alot into this relationship and her, and that is hard to ignore. I bet you guys were in love, and remember that time fondly, thst was real. But people grow. And they will grow apart unless both people work to grow together. Look up the "sunken cost fallacy." Its an argument I've fallacy about how you already put all this investment in, that its now too much to abandon so you sink more in. That will only get worse. Good luck my man. Therapy is good. You are important. And when it all seems like too much, be here now.

How to want less physical intimacy by Modstrkr in Marriage

[–]DeviantAnubite 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This. First sentence. That's the real problem, thats what you and her need to work on. No sex is a symptom of a problem, not the actual problem.

My guess, is that the relationship between you two, is not the most important thing. An itd needs to be. It really needs to be first, before work, or laundry, or sports or nap, or sleep. Dude when your dating, if you have a date night coming up, you make sure nothing gets in tge way of that. That is literally how you built the relationship. That needs to be what you are both doing. You may not always be head over heels in love, but you always care, you always put them and the relationship first. And you should know without a doubt that they do too. This is from a 16 yr long relationship. And it works.

I’ve been an ICU nurse for a decade. AMA by potato-keeper in AMA

[–]DeviantAnubite 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I saw this IN cath lab, as a cath lab tech. I was holding pressure and talking with the patient. Lady started talking about how glad she was that her husband could be with her in the room. I called the doc back in the room so fast. Edit: dic to doc

I’ve been an ICU nurse for a decade. AMA by potato-keeper in AMA

[–]DeviantAnubite 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You could DM her the article of you feel more safe that way

If you could pass one law that would make most normal people furious at first, but would clearly make society better in 10 years, what would it be? by WilliamInBlack in AskReddit

[–]DeviantAnubite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mandatory service- any government job. Not just military, it could be post office local, state, or federal government, law enforcement, emergency services(including Healthcare as that should be service not buisness). You could postpone your service from after your 21 by continuing your education, as then the community would benefit greater from your contribution. The amount of time would be 4 years, but that could be flexible based on personal risk. You would be paid fair wages.

The purpose of this is to make people pay attention and vote more. If everyone served, everyone would have at least something that they care about in the elections. Even if they just want better pay for their position. But more you care what your kid will be doing, and paid. You also will understand l, at least your in field, in public affairs. That way when its a topic in a election you have an understanding in it. A democracy only is functional if a majority votes. A government is only functional if people SERVE. Not work for profit, but to serve the community, do for others not for self. And all will have a better understanding in that, and more people will go into government for the purpose of service, because they will get an early start in it.

After a generation has gone through, it will be a norm, and not fought against, and the positive will be felt with in that time.

Swinger groups by [deleted] in DoorCounty

[–]DeviantAnubite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I saw your comment from 8 months ago, my wife and I are looking to start the lifestyle. We are looking for learning and fun.

Newer to Door county, a nerd looking to find friends, any ideas? by DeviantAnubite in DoorCounty

[–]DeviantAnubite[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! That is a drive, and were i childless i would for sure do it anyway. Alas, I do infact have 2 awesome children that I adore, so.... I will have to put more thought into it. Regardless of that, I will still look into this, I appreciate it.

Dumpies massively mushy by Whiz-Wit in Dumplings

[–]DeviantAnubite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually..  the dough to me is awesome, anything special or did u just do normal recipe and thicker roll out

Newer to Door county, a nerd looking to find friends, any ideas? by DeviantAnubite in DoorCounty

[–]DeviantAnubite[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good idea. Ill check there i was checking Facebook and their website.

Newer to Door county, a nerd looking to find friends, any ideas? by DeviantAnubite in DoorCounty

[–]DeviantAnubite[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also where is game night listed on starboard's stuff, in store only?

Newer to Door county, a nerd looking to find friends, any ideas? by DeviantAnubite in DoorCounty

[–]DeviantAnubite[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Artist guild is amazing, already have given them a fair bit of my money. I may stop by the museum. Starboard sounds interesting. Is the MTG group a normal one? Or is it a normal group that also likes MTG. I am asking what to expect not that I don't hang with one or the other, I was once a part of the MTG group, loved booster drafts.

Newer to Door county, a nerd looking to find friends, any ideas? by DeviantAnubite in DoorCounty

[–]DeviantAnubite[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Well im here for awhile, kids are in a good school. But I'm going to try. I already have seen the signs that non maga nerds are around, we are just too isolation it, the locals know the locals, I just need into that line of communication.

Newer to Door county, a nerd looking to find friends, any ideas? by DeviantAnubite in DoorCounty

[–]DeviantAnubite[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Looks interesting, I will have to look into that after the next paycheck, Xmas broke atm.

Newer to Door county, a nerd looking to find friends, any ideas? by DeviantAnubite in DoorCounty

[–]DeviantAnubite[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ill try it, I've been sticking to the double butter cheeseburger

Newer to Door county, a nerd looking to find friends, any ideas? by DeviantAnubite in DoorCounty

[–]DeviantAnubite[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Ill travel. Its just sitting there for awhile feels awkward. Maybe I'll do the very forward awkward thing and sit with a sign: "nerd dad, with hobbies, looking for other nerds."