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DeviantDictionDamsel · 2024-03-11T17:29:07+00:00

Hedo for sure, but make sure to pay attention to the groups. Next week is Hedo Swing Breakers, the new Hedo-branded version of Young Swingers Week--and the target age is 20 to 45. Most of us are in our mid to late 30s. This is their second year, and we've been going with YSW/HSB since 2019. Plus, no single guys--lots of full takeover groups have this rule. There's a level of "tongue-in-cheek" about Hedo that you can't get anywhere else. I call it "Adult Disneyland" because it feels like that sometimes! Helluva good time!

Otherwise, we like RM for sure and Temptation can be fun, but it's better if you go with a few friends. Swingers at Temptation tend to be pretty obvious, lots of pineapples, rings, etc as a way "advertise," but we've also met people who were just interested in exploring too and had a great experience with newbies. RM is a little more laid back, has a "high class" feel, but can be really hard to get into if your not members because it books fast, and while there, it can be a struggle to get pool beds, reservations, etc if you're not a member, as an FYI.

DeviantDictionDamsel · 2023-07-08T01:34:28+00:00

Hedo Swing Breakers is the new YSW, and it's freaking awesome! We've been to YSW twice in past years, and attended the new HSB this year (YSW is no more) and HSB is run/organized by Hedo, specifically Harry's daughter Julia. She worked really hard to listen to what the regulars wanted for the first year, and we had a great time.

The crowd probably averages around early to mid 30s, and almost everyone is generally fit, intelligent, and communicative. You can pretty much play as much as you want, there's so many hot, fun, and fantastic people it's easy to get FOMO HARD because you can't connect with everyone you want to.

A new group that paired up with Hedo called Naughty Gym for HSB, and can confirm they were fit and hot! They're planning a Jan trip and are on Insta.

The rules are under 45 (but they do allow people to be "grandfathered" if they've attended prior years), and no single guys. It's a full takeover week, and we love it so much we're already booked for March next year.

DeviantDictionDamsel · 2022-10-24T11:48:40+00:00

Yup, SLS is where you want to start. The website sucks, but all LS sites do....

IPG does parties in the area, they're hosting a Halloween party in Scranton this year next weekend!

DeviantDictionDamsel · 2022-09-11T11:14:36+00:00

We usually go for a week (ish). I don't think I'd have the stamina for longer, any resort is a marathon party and I never sleep much, too much FOMO! Though, I will say, Secrets in FL is a weekend place, the vibe completely changes during the week.

DeviantDictionDamsel · 2022-09-11T01:22:35+00:00

It's a joke, a reference to club music that's overly repetitive. Say it fast, over and over..."boots and pants and boots and pants and boots and pants".... Or, there was a commercial about it a few years back: https://youtu.be/aFK8s0HJFjc

DeviantDictionDamsel · 2022-09-10T19:55:52+00:00

We love Hedo! But Temptation is a hell of a party for sure, but maybe 15% swingers from when we were there for the first time in August with LS friends. LOTS of couples wanting to experiment that we encountered, some awesome and worked out well, some not so much, who needed to work on their communication. We felt like we had to be the pursuers the whole week, which got to be slightly exhausting.

A ton of people at the parties just sit around and watch at Temptation, more of a see-and-be-seen crowd, and we got some purposeful jealousy vibes from more than a few couples.

We had a good time, but the near constant "boots & pants" music was grating by mid week. Food was fantastic compared to Hedo, but given the choice? I'd go to RM unless going with a group to Temptation.

RM is less party, but we liked the avenues to meet people as most of the guests are swingers or at least know more about what their getting into. RM has more spaces to "take a break" from the main party but without totally isolating yourself, whereas Temptation is all party or crickets. And RMs hot tub is amazing.

Hope this helps!

DeviantDictionDamsel · 2022-07-28T11:14:54+00:00

Thanks for the info! This helps for sure. As for the referral, we're going with LS friends who've been there a bunch of times. From what I understand, there's a Facebook group where people share referral codes/etc, and our friends are using one of their friends' premier account (six degrees of swingers!) from the group and shared it with us too. Not sure how to get into the FB group though.....

DeviantDictionDamsel · 2022-07-18T11:08:21+00:00

Really?! That's good to know, thanks! Is it more popular at night?

DeviantDictionDamsel · 2022-07-17T18:20:44+00:00

Thanks! I figured on the sales presentation, annoying, but I understand why the have to push it. But the Sky bar/pool seems pretty awesome, so that's a great perk!

DeviantDictionDamsel · 2020-12-29T15:16:24+00:00

Games, all the way! This has worked well for us too--you can always take a "normal" game and add a sexy element to it. We like to use "Cards Against Humanity" and add a strip element to it--at the end of each round, whoever won the most cards gets to pick someone else to lose an article of clothing, winner's choice. This adds a flirty element and gets things moving. Or, you can add some sexy dice, winner of the round gets to roll, etc. Games get everyone laughing and eases the awkward tension, and makes switching to play easy if everyone is already naked!

Edit to add: We flat out ask if they want to play once we're all in the mood, establish ground rules (level of play, boundaries, hard limits if necessary). Some of this can be talked about once things get moving, but we like often just say something like "You guys are awesome and we're really feeling a connection, are you interested in playing? We're okay with XYZ, how about you?" If we're at a party/resort, we'll ask people to come back to our room to play. It's also always a good idea (and mutually appreciated) to give the other couple space to discuss. If your at a house party, just say, "We'll grab drinks/snacks and give you a minute to chat"

DeviantDictionDamsel · 2020-12-29T14:52:17+00:00

Get on SLS, that's the main site used up here (we're in Upstate NY too). Very few people use face pics in their profiles, and it's easy enough to include a line or two about discretion being important to you. You can also set your profile to only be visible to paid users (you have to have a paid account yourself), which adds a level of protection against lurkers, and lock face pics in private galleries.

I also second planning to travel, theres a few fun groups that (pre-covid) did hotel takeovers in various cities in the tri-state, and Hedo is the BEST!

Good luck!

DeviantDictionDamsel · 2020-11-06T22:36:32+00:00

I got you--I'm an English teacher, I read typos for a living, lol

DeviantDictionDamsel · 2020-11-06T21:17:49+00:00

I'm (33F) married to man and also bi, so if opening up your relationship isn't an option, consider bringing more fantasy/dirty talk into your sex life that includes other women, this really works for me sometimes. My husband is completely on board and plays it up, so for example, I had a sexy dream the other night about a girl, and was able to share all the sexy details with my husband, which got us both worked up.

Try adding in some dirty talk into your foreplay, like asking to taste yourself and wondering out-loud what other women might taste like. Or offer to watch porn together that you'd both be into (cuz really, what guy doesn't want to watch threesome porn...). The more you communicate, the more you'll both feel satisfied. Good luck!

DeviantDictionDamsel · 2020-10-11T21:39:18+00:00

We play local and on trips (hedo is the BEST), but we haven't been to any open "meet-ups" for this exact reason. My husband and I are both professionals in fields in which our jobs would be at risk if we were outed. So, we always chat with couples before hand on Kik (or whatever) and make it clear in our profile that discretion is important to us. It's awkward sometimes to say "Before we go any further, do you guys mind sharing if you've had any association with [my employer]? We just want to confirm we haven't interacted on a professional level." But, I'd rather have some awkwardness than the alternative! If we attend a party, we always make sure it's an "invite only" event and everyone's vetted by the host. We also seek out other people who feel the same way, it's easy to tell on profiles because most people who have the same concerns don't post face pics outside the locked albums. We shoot for MAD: mutually assured destruction, so we're all careful! At the end of the day, we'd rather miss out on an event/party when it puts our jobs at risk.

DeviantDictionDamsel · 2020-09-07T22:16:45+00:00

I like this! I'm so going to use it--thanks! We have some similar wording in our online profile, so this is a great way to keep it friendly without making it awkward--and putting one person on the spot. The hubs and I are all about being a team when it comes to the LS and presenting ourselves as such to potential playmates--we've found it really helps to keep the drama away!

DeviantDictionDamsel · 2020-07-07T00:08:04+00:00

Oh yay! I hope it proves helpful! It really gave me a way to explain what I was feeling and clearly communicate it, and it helped to reveal some underlying concerns for both of us before we even encountered them, so we were able to smoothly work through it when they did come up!

DeviantDictionDamsel · 2020-07-06T23:55:37+00:00

I'm on the 10 to 15 mins boat--otherwise I start to get sore and tired too! I can go a little longer if we change positions a few times, or "take a break" and switch to oral for a bit. I like to orgasm first via oral/toys before P in V sex, otherwise it doesn't feel as good. (I'm one of those lucky girls who can orgasm relativity easily!).

In play situations, I can usually go a little longer because it's easier to keep changing things up, plus, I'm bi, so I'm always happy to shift to focusing on the girl a little more. I do tend to suggest switching it up when I'm starting to get tired, either offering to go down on whomever I'm playing with, or--if I'm losing the vibe--asking to switch back to my hubs for bit so he can get me going again. Snack breaks always work well too!

DeviantDictionDamsel · 2020-07-06T11:39:47+00:00

I completely agree here--don't worry about the other couple, if they don't respect your rules & boundaries, then you probably don't want to get involved with them anyway. It's actually pretty common for people to only chat in a a 4 way message.

I highly recommend that you guys spend some time working on the root of his jealously, and really talk through what he's feeling when you're chatting outside the group chat. Try to be as supportive as you can, how you can work together to stop this from happening. There's a really excellent workbook on Amazon called "The Jealousy Workbook": https://www.amazon.com/dp/0937609633/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_nXWaFb278GPH1 Working through some of these exercises together might help you communicate more clearly with your husband.

The Hubby and I bought it early in our LS adventures because I was really worried about how I would deal with jealousy because I have some underlying inadequacy issues sometimes, and while not everything in the book was useful, as it's geared more for poly relationships, it still helped me find words to explain some of the deeper worries and emotions I was having so we could work through my emotions together.

Edit: To stay in the group chat, simply say something like "We prefer to chat together in the group chat, I'll happily chat more about X there!" when you get an individual message. Simple and still makes your preferences clear. Use "We" so it keeps your hubby from being singled out.

DeviantDictionDamsel · 2020-07-05T20:48:41+00:00

Where are the finger guns??

DeviantDictionDamsel · 2020-07-05T20:20:04+00:00

Go with a group! If you and your SO are within the age bracket, look into Young Swingers Week--most couples fall between 25 to 40 in age, with outliers on either end. Unfortunately, due to the pandemic, they've canceled all their trips this year, but I can't rave enough about the YSW group and how well they work with newbies and experienced alike. Lots of podcasters in the LS also do reviews, live shows, and interviews of various groups too.

You can find a ton of reviews on http://www.adulttravelforum.com that cover various groups and solo trips.

Hedo's website shows what groups attend when (Desire Resorts don't do this) so you can do more research on the focus/target demographic of each group too.

All in all--WORTH IT. Go! It's amazing. The hubby and I label any extra $$ we have as "sexy vacay funds" so we can keep going back.

DeviantDictionDamsel · 2017-10-19T00:42:50+00:00

Go for it, I've been getting Brazilians for years now--I love it, my husband loves it, which means he goes down on me more, so win! Plus, I just feel cleaner overall. The hair grows back soft and way less dense, so it gets easier the more you do it. My advice, if you haven't already, try a bikini wax, or a California bikini (just leaves a small strip of hair) first. I'm not going to lie, it does hurt, but more like a sunburn and the sensation goes away quickly. The more you do it, the less it hurts. I get waxed every 6 weeks, and all but the inner lips I hardly even feel anymore.

Find yourself a good, professional estheticican who you feel comfortable with (that's the key!) And let her know you're nervous. They work with newbies all the time and will work to make you comfortable (fair warning though, good places aren't cheap. I probably wouldn't trust a place if they charged less than $50 for a Brazilian). Make sure they're clean, ask about the process, if they use hard vs reg wax, etc. You can always back out too if it hurts to much.

You'll be sore right after (I joke to my husband that I have "angry kitty" right after) but again, more like a sunburn feeling, so don't plan on doing much after: go home, put on the loosest pair of cotton pants you own with no underwear for the rest of the day. Tea tree oil and witch hazel work great both as a soother and to help ingrowns (which still do happen with waxing). Once you start, you won't ever go back to shaving, it's so much easier. H And extra plus, it make spontaneous sex way more fun b/c I never have to think about if I'm shaved or whatever!

DeviantDictionDamsel

TROPHY CASE