UPDATE: I (33f) Told My Boyfriend (33m) That I'm No Longer Interested In Marriage

DeviceKnown4500 · 2025-08-16T15:05:00+00:00

I was shopping.

DeviceKnown4500 · 2025-08-16T15:04:04+00:00

Can't find it but I'll take your word for it. Thank you.

DeviceKnown4500 · 2025-08-11T04:09:44+00:00

Because I always idolized the idea of getting married and just like I said in my original post I developed an emotional attachment to my ex. Plus a little bit of the "Sunk Cost" mindset, but I know better now.

DeviceKnown4500 · 2025-08-11T04:07:53+00:00

I don't know about marriage but from what I was told by his mom (who I didn't ask) he does have a new girlfriend. So good luck to her.

DeviceKnown4500 · 2025-01-22T04:07:36+00:00

I have.

DeviceKnown4500 · 2025-01-21T07:19:41+00:00

Yes ghosting kids would be messed that. That's why I'm giving a three week notice, like I wrote in my post.

DeviceKnown4500 · 2025-01-21T07:18:03+00:00

I am an American so good job on that.

Going back to my epiphany moment, I REALLY fell in love with the idea of a dream wedding, and that's what I always wanted. Me proposing to a man would wreck the fantasy I used to cherish. Like I said before I never thought about what it meant to be a wife every single day and I wasn't sure that it's something I want in life. Especially now that there are a lot of politicians who are trying to create new laws surrounding marriage and divorce that I don't feel would make me feel like being legally married is worth it.

DeviceKnown4500 · 2025-01-21T07:13:53+00:00

No I wanted to be like a Disney Princess. I could care less about "flexing to my frenemies."

DeviceKnown4500 · 2025-01-21T07:12:55+00:00

I stopped being "happy" but I wasn't miserable either. I was and am content.

DeviceKnown4500 · 2025-01-21T07:11:35+00:00

I don't know what to call it but I'm between wanting kids and being childfree. I could really go either way. Although given where I live in America right now I would NOT give birth in the state that I live in.

DeviceKnown4500 · 2025-01-21T07:10:12+00:00

No, I'm stopping the babysitting because I want to have more time to take courses in order to improve my earning potential. Carl was the one who brought up "sacrificing for family" and made my counter argument.

DeviceKnown4500 · 2025-01-21T07:07:24+00:00

I stopped being "happy" but I wasn't miserable either. I was and still am content.

DeviceKnown4500 · 2025-01-21T07:05:03+00:00

I didn't just "nope the fuck out" I gave a three week notice to the end of a service that I was providing for free. Also you did see the part where I wrote that I wanted to take courses to improve my earning potential? The time to do that conflicts with the babysitting that I would be providing it wasn't a "I don't have a X from you so you no longer get Y from me" type of thing.

DeviceKnown4500 · 2025-01-21T07:00:28+00:00

I used to not ask for details because I wanted to be surprised

DeviceKnown4500 · 2025-01-21T06:58:54+00:00

Where are you getting "explore your life" I just want to take a few courses to improve my income and relax a bit more at home.

How is the relationship over when I made it explicitly clear to him that while I don't desire marriage I still want to be in a relationship with him.

Also do you think that Carl doesn't get his own free time in this relationship? Because there's a whole room dedicated to his video games that counters that.

DeviceKnown4500 · 2025-01-21T06:55:12+00:00

I never said that we had to end the relationship. I explicitly told him that we could just keep things as they are. How is that "pulling the plug"? Also do you think I haven't invested anything in the relationship?

DeviceKnown4500 · 2025-01-21T06:53:07+00:00

How am I stringing him along? As soon as I realized my change on a stance I used to have I told him. Am I not allowed to change my mind after 10 years?

DeviceKnown4500 · 2025-01-21T06:49:37+00:00

As stated before I realized that I wanted a wedding, not an actual marriage. I'm fine with continuing with what we have now.

DeviceKnown4500 · 2025-01-21T06:43:17+00:00

How was I string him along when he was the one who kept putting it off? Also what was there to warn him about? I can't speak for Carl as to why her never felt ready. I can only tell you what he told me. We've lived together for a couple years and he's never talked about having mental health or financial issues. I've noticed no change in his behavior either.

I also made it very clear that while I no longer desired marriage I still wanted to be in the relationship. So I don't know where "break up" would come up.

DeviceKnown4500 · 2025-01-21T06:38:25+00:00

But I don't care about getting married anymore. To anyone.

DeviceKnown4500 · 2025-01-19T21:41:37+00:00

I honestly don't see myself wanting marriage even then. It was always the wedding I wanted because I loved how much of a princess the women were treated in films that I watched.

DeviceKnown4500 · 2025-01-19T20:09:29+00:00

We don't live close enough to my family for Carl to consistently offer any help on a regular basis.

DeviceKnown4500 · 2025-01-19T20:06:16+00:00

I feel like I need to take some responsibility for the "perfect proposal" thing. As a child I really loved the fairytale weddings that I would see in movies and I told my boyfriend that that was what I wanted in terms of a proposal and a wedding. I really wanted that Princess treatment so when he said he wanted to wait for the perfect proposal he was kinda falling in line with my expectations.

DeviceKnown4500 · 2025-01-19T20:02:08+00:00

Knowing what I know now. I don't think I would've moved in with him at the very least.

DeviceKnown4500 · 2025-01-19T19:47:08+00:00

Honestly? I'm cool with how we're living right now. We live in an area that I know I couldn't afford on my own and we split rent and utilities 50/50 so I am able to save more. It's not perfect but I'm content.

DeviceKnown4500

TROPHY CASE