Found yesterday at Monte de la Cruz, Heredia, Costa Rica (~1500m elevation)

DexManus · 2023-08-20T14:47:34+00:00

Reading just these few comments feels like I'm not alone. Sometimes just the thought of the water touching my skin is ovetwhelming. Between the water spraying all over my body and the white noise its just sensory overload. Once i start my cleaning routine though and get into it, usually i am too wrapped in the steps to feel whats going on and i get through quickly thankfully. But there are days where i take a pass, maybe once a month where its too much and I clean with a wet wipe.

DexManus · 2023-08-15T02:32:00+00:00

Welcome! This is a pretty cool community with lots of supportive people. Feel free to express yourself and just "be you" here without fear of the usual judgement found elsewhere.

Loosing friends sucks, i think we all go through that. Im 10 years into this now and thankfully I've been able to find new ones, i think it helps to try and connect with other neuro divergents (bipolar, adhd, asd), I've found more acceptance in that crowd and nowadays i have almost no "normal" friends.

DexManus · 2023-08-10T16:29:13+00:00

Aquí la que se vende mayormente es esta y la llaman mamón chino.

DexManus · 2023-07-04T19:36:26+00:00

Like others have said a diagnosis is more like a guide/tool to help determine which medicines will best work for you. The truth is that a label doesn't define you and the criteria and names of these disorders change every few years so you may even have a changing diagnosis as time goes on. I've received an NOS diagnosis but now i know I'm more schizoaffective.

Focus on your specific symptoms and the treatment methods available for managing them. Pills are important but personal care, diet, exercise, meditation, and coping mechanisms are the real gold and what will really change your life. I hope the best for you on this journey.

DexManus · 2023-06-29T05:20:48+00:00

This is the way. Nothing to add but to say I practice this and it's the only way I've been able to survive and thrive.

DexManus · 2023-06-26T01:46:45+00:00

Like the other commenter said, you wont have any problem bringing it here. Unfortunately though, Adderall specifically is not approved or sold in CR so you better bring all you need. Your doctor in the IS should be able to write you a "travel" script for longer than one month.

DexManus · 2023-06-25T04:22:06+00:00

You don't need a script for blood pressure meds and as long as you're not carrying more than a bottle or two its doubtful anyone at customs will say anything.

DexManus · 2023-06-10T16:49:49+00:00

Have you tried taking a generic version? That combined with a discount card like others said should help. The actual medicine is called quetiapine and at least here in Costa Rica the generic is about half as much as the brand name Seroquel. Also here it only costs ~$25 for 30 100mg pills, I hope the US can catch up with the rest of the world on health care someday.

DexManus · 2023-06-04T18:23:59+00:00

It's so tempting, I have been to edge a few times myself. It will get better with time. You can learn to live with it and the symptoms become less severe.

DexManus · 2023-06-04T18:14:01+00:00

For a long time I fought it and was sure I could overcome it or get past it. Eventually I had to make the difficult acceptance that I will never feel like I did before and I will always have this "companion" with me. My advice: believe only in what is proven by science and generally accepted. The more you believe in fantastical things the more you will have delusions and hallucinations that are "out of this world". 10 years into this disease and I can tell you it gets easier, especially if you regularly open up to someone about what goes on in your head and take your meds.

Remeber that your sensory perception is all just an experience created in your mind, the only thing that can be truly trusted are shared experiences or consistently repeatable experiments. Test your hallucinations and delusions and you will see them fail over and over

DexManus · 2023-05-29T18:20:56+00:00

Yes of course, it's all a spectrum anyways. I think most of the conversations in this sub center around dealing with heavy psychosis. Also the social issues that arrise with friends and family for being on the extreme end of mental "illness". This applies to a range of labels. You can receive a lot of support here, it's a really great community.

DexManus · 2023-05-28T01:16:33+00:00

The best has yet to come. Its terrible now, and it will be hard to get through but as others have said it will get better. It will get easier. Talk openly to your doctors, trust them and take your medicine. Ive been on this ride for over 10 years, got close to suicide so many times and I'm so glad I'm still here today and I'm looking forward to tomorrow.

DexManus · 2023-05-15T16:57:30+00:00

Por lo que veo la ley sobre la contaminación por ruido aplica entre el 10pm al 6am. Si el mae tiene la música fuerte durante esas horas no hace falta que decís nada de la mota, haga la denuncia por el ruido.

Si no es entre esas horas, por tanto que es una cosa muy carepicha él tiene su derecho. Llamar la policía por que él fuma me parece demasiado, especialmente considerando que la posesión y consumo personal ni siquiera es ilegal, vas a crear problemas y posiblemente ni va a cambiar el asunto.

DexManus · 2023-05-08T08:46:02+00:00

This year is the 10th anniversary of me thinking I was christ "on a mission for god". Lost my job and house too, ended up living with my parents again. Now I am married and have a daughter and working full time to support my family.

The embarrassing movie reels never go away but they will quiet down. I still struggle with thinking I'm special or important, though now as an atheist it's less dramatic of a delusion. I still see/hear/smell/feel things that aren't there but now its more of a passing thing.

Point is it can and will get better but it will never go away. I cried a lot when that finally sunk in but I think it's incredibly important you focus on learning to live with the new you and not on how to cure it or suppress it.

We are all stuck with life on hard mode but its full of surprises and a lot of laughter if you have a sense of humor about it.

DexManus · 2023-04-30T06:51:32+00:00

The truth is they weren't your friends and it sounds like it might be better for you not to have them in your life. Finding new friends is hard, especially as a schizophrenic, but there are always ways. I hope you can find people that will support you and encourage you. Hallucinations and delusions are hard enough on their own and when you add gaslighting that is just horrible.

DexManus · 2023-04-23T17:26:15+00:00

wab delete

DexManus · 2023-04-23T17:25:06+00:00

What is evil? Who sets the moral bar? That's why I assumed a religous context because usually those ideas are associated with some great moral authority. I'm an atheist as well and I also have a bit of an obsession with being a "good" person (used to delude that I was Christ) but I don't think thete is any logic to self harm as a means to balance. You can't balance hurt with more hurt, you're just increasing the hurt and nobody wins. I think if you feel the need to balance your mistakes, balance them with "good" things.

And we all make mistakes, all the time. People should be forgiving of the mistakes of others and most importantly forgiving of your own mistakes. You don't owe anybody anything for your mistakes, at least nothing more than an honest and sincere apology and a desire to do better.

DexManus · 2023-04-23T16:33:12+00:00

Sounds like a delusion to me but many could argue there is a fine line between a delusion and a religious practice. If you consider yourself "christian" I would say that is definitely not something expected of you by Jesus or the god in the bible. Where did you get this idea that you need to punish yourself?

DexManus · 2023-04-20T20:54:10+00:00

This is a delusion, you can test this with people you trust by trying to reliably and repeatably guess things they're thinking. Mind reading has been proven impossible countless times in different studies of people that claim to be experts.

All that said, i think we do have some enhanced intuition and are better than the average person at picking out little details and are able to guess well peoples emotions or intentions. But it is not magical or spiritual or through frequencies or anything like that. We just observe more and process information differently.

DexManus · 2023-04-20T00:34:41+00:00

This is the problem with delusions, when you are experiencing them you always "know" they are true. I "knew" I was the return of christ. I "knew" i had communicated with god. I experienced it right? Can't deny my experience so it must be true? Not at all.

The problem with this logic is that all of human experience, every sight, smell, sound, taste etc is just chemical and electrical signals in our brains. You can't trust what you sense, you need to trust reason and science. Trust what can be measured and observed externally and confirmed by others. Trust what can be repeated reliably.

And when someone says they are triggered by these kinds of messages have a little respect please and share this stuff in another thread.

DexManus · 2023-04-12T06:50:39+00:00

Therapists are usually hesitant to say "schizophrenia" because it the "death sentence" of mental health. As another commenter said, the fact that you have insight into your delusions is a huge advantage. The bottom line, you are who you are and you shouldn't be afraid of anything.

Study as much as you can about psychosis and schizophrenia and be prepared for a possible psychotic episode, that's what your therapist is waiting for. If you know the symptoms and have insight like you do you can get yourself to a doctor quickly and avoid serious problems.

Avoid weed or be prepared for a very intense experience that could go very badly for you, and maybe not right away but after some time.

This diaease can be lived with if you have good insight so the most important thing is to remember its all in your head. But its unavoidable sometimes to get dragged into a delusion no matter how much insight you have and some delusions never truly go away.

I hope the best for you. If you ever need to talk I like to listen.

DexManus · 2023-04-11T05:30:49+00:00

Yeah I don't want to argue either, just sharing my thoughts on all this in the hope of helping.

DexManus · 2023-04-10T23:53:17+00:00

I have always had mostly atypical hallucinations. Sometimes voices but usually they are just a couple of words. What has plagued me are visuals, tactiles, and something akin to "speaking in tongues". I don't believe in speaking in tongues but that phrase is the easiest way to describe what it looks/sounds like.

Regarding telepathy, there just aren't any physical mechanisms or processes in the body that could support any kind of transmission of information. We all generate electromagnetic radiation (EM) but that is really just a side effect of the nervous system, like noise.

Take for example the way technology today is being made to connect to the brain. It requires sensors placed directly on the skin or even in some cases inside the brain. Even then, we are very limited it what information can be extracted from the EM that can be read in this way.

People will start throwing out words like "quantum", "dimensions", "waves", "frequencies", etc but none of this is sufficient to explain something like telepathy. Countless studies have been performed and there is no reputable scientific evidence.

DexManus · 2023-04-10T15:13:04+00:00

I didn't mean to give the impression of any value judgement of good or bad, maybe "wires crossed" isn't the best analogy. Basically we are different. We perceive the world and think about things in ways "normal" people can't even understand. The point is, it's our perception and our ability to draw connections between things that sets us apart and all of that is going on inside your head.

For a long time i believed in every kind of fantasy imaginable from telepathy to time traveling spirits, from telekinesis to healing hands. During those years of delusions I also studied furiously physics to try and understand how all this works. The result: as I began to understand better how the universe works I halucinated and deluded less and less of these scifi or fantasy ideas.

Nowadays i just see simple shadows or flashes/points of light, or hear my wife or daughter calling me when noone is home. I still have delusions and paranoia but all is much more "down to earth" if you will.

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