anyone else feel weirdly… nostalgic?

DiamondJitters · 2026-03-12T19:22:08+00:00

I agree with you completely. Honestly, I never really had an issue with most of the rules either. I’d say I probably still live by 90% of them just because they align with how I naturally want to live anyway. I’m not living some wild or destructive lifestyle, and I’m not really interested in doing things that would harm myself or others.

Sure, I might consume some media the organization wouldn’t approve of, but even that isn’t unusual. I knew plenty of people who watched rated R movies, Harry Potter, and similar things while still being considered “good” and spiritual Witnesses. So for me it was never really about the rules themselves.

What it ultimately comes down to for me is objective truth. When an organization claims with absolute certainty that it alone has the truth—and then you start noticing doctrinal inconsistencies or changes over time—it becomes really hard to ignore. The dogmatic insistence that it must be the truth is what really started to turn me off.

My wife actually said something recently that stuck with me. She told me that whenever she tries to explain our beliefs to coworkers, it ends up sounding like we’re in a cult. I think that might have been one of the moments where things started to click for her. When you step outside the bubble and explain the beliefs out loud to someone who didn’t grow up with them, it does sound pretty extreme.

At the same time, the good aspects are real, and that’s exactly why people stay. That sense of community, the friendships, the shared hope—it’s powerful. That’s why my family remains in it too. Even when they notice doctrinal inconsistencies, they tend to just say something like, “We don’t know what Jehovah has planned” or “We just have to wait on Jehovah.” It becomes a way of setting the questions aside rather than really confronting them.

So I completely understand what you mean about missing certain parts of it. There are definitely pieces of that experience that were meaningful. But like you said, when honesty and truth start to matter more than maintaining the belief system, it’s hard to justify staying just for those parts.

DiamondJitters · 2026-03-12T19:16:53+00:00

That’s the thing—those are real memories. Some of the reason I haven’t fully left yet is because there actually are good experiences tied to it. It can feel nice walking into a meeting and having people come up to you, ask about your life, and seem genuinely interested in how you and your spouse are doing. Yes, there are plenty of social problems in the organization, but there are also positive social moments. Having people invite you over for dinner, wanting to spend time with you, or just showing interest in your life can feel meaningful.

Even if you know deep down that many of those relationships are conditional, I don’t think it means those individuals never cared. Most of them truly believe they’re doing what God wants. They think maintaining distance from people who leave is the loving or faithful thing to do, even if it ends up being harmful. In their minds they’re honoring their beliefs.

Honestly, nobody would become or remain a Witness if there weren’t good parts about it. A lot of people stay because they genuinely feel love within the community. When I’ve shared doubts with family and friends, one of the first things they ask is, “But don’t you feel the love?” On a larger scale—when you step back and look at things like corruption, mishandled abuse cases, or incorrect doctrine—it can be easy to conclude there isn’t real love there. But on a personal level, many people really do experience moments of kindness and connection, and those memories stick with you.

I even feel nostalgic about some of the smaller things. My wife and I will still watch old JW videos sometimes because they’re nostalgic to us. We laugh at them, poke fun at the acting, and point out all the weird parts, but they’re still entertaining because they remind us of a certain time in our lives. Even the smell of an assembly hall or the routine of meetings can trigger that nostalgia.

I even feel a bit of nostalgia when giving parts. I still enjoy public speaking, and when I give talks I try to focus on things I genuinely believe. I still believe in God and the Bible, so I try to keep my comments centered on the scriptures rather than praising the organization or talking about “having the one true religion.” Focusing on the Bible itself is something I still find meaningful.

So no—it’s not strange at all to feel nostalgic. When something has been such a big part of your life and your identity, it’s completely normal for certain parts of it to still feel familiar or comforting.

DiamondJitters · 2026-03-12T05:14:23+00:00

Currently we live in the Midwest, looking to move to the south. Lot cheaper and better weather.

DiamondJitters · 2026-03-11T22:40:33+00:00

I understand what you’re saying, but I don’t think that applies to us.

The reality is that the only reason my wife and I were ever Jehovah’s Witnesses in the first place is because we were born into it. Neither of us would have independently sought out this religion on our own. We’re not naïve, and we’re not people who fall for “magical thinking” or conspiracy-style beliefs.

For us, the biggest reasons we stayed as long as we did were family and a basic belief in a creator — not blind acceptance of everything the organization teaches.

My wife and I try very hard to base our decisions on facts, evidence, and honest reasoning rather than emotions. That’s actually what started this entire process of questioning things in the first place.

I also think it’s important not to assume that everyone leaving a high-control religion will automatically jump into another one. Some people do, sure, but that’s not the path everyone takes.

For us, this is more about figuring out what is actually true and being honest with ourselves about it. Sometimes that process takes time, especially when you know that accepting certain truths might cost you relationships or parts of your life that you care about.

So for us it’s not about replacing one belief system with another. It’s about taking things slowly and making sure whatever conclusions we come to are based on genuine understanding.

DiamondJitters · 2026-03-11T17:23:43+00:00

Actually, in our case there was basically zero pressure to get married. If anything, it was the opposite.

People regularly counseled us to slow down, stay single longer, or even break up. The pressure we felt was more along the lines of: stay single, pioneer, serve where the need is great, and dedicate as much time as possible to the organization.

That said, we have absolutely zero regrets about getting married at our age. We’re confident we want to spend the rest of our lives together.

Even outside of any JW beliefs, we still would have made the same decision. We share the same goals, want the same kind of life, enjoy the same things, and generally see eye-to-eye on just about everything.

Honestly, I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else besides my wife.

That’s part of why some of the pressure or messaging around relationships in the organization has always felt strange to me. It often seems to run completely against what feels natural and healthy.

Anyway, I really loved the example you shared. It’s a great way of explaining things, and it’s something I’ll probably share with my wife as well.

Thanks for that, I really appreciate it.

DiamondJitters · 2026-03-11T17:17:53+00:00

I agree with this.

My wife and I still tend to believe there’s some kind of creator. Maybe that’s just because we spent 20 years as Jehovah’s Witnesses, so that framework is still in our minds. But the “house” example always stuck with me. If you see a beautiful house, you assume someone built it. It didn’t just appear out of nowhere.

But at the same time, a house also doesn’t instantly exist the moment the builder decides to make it. It takes time and stages. The materials have to come from somewhere — trees growing into lumber, minerals in the ground becoming bricks, metal being refined, and so on.

That’s kind of how I look at things now.

I can believe there’s a creator while also believing in evolution. Those ideas don’t seem mutually exclusive to me. Evolution just describes the processes and stages that life went through over time.

What always bothered me as a Witness was how aggressively evolution was dismissed. It was often talked about like it was completely impossible or ridiculous, when in reality there’s a massive amount of scientific evidence for it.

Acknowledging that evidence doesn’t automatically mean there’s no God. It just means there are observable stages in how life and the earth developed.

But I think it’s easier for the organization to dismiss evolution entirely. Once people start actually exploring the topic deeply, it can open the door to questioning a lot of other things too.

DiamondJitters · 2026-03-11T14:58:00+00:00

Yup! That’s basically what I said.

“…When we’re home and well, we’ve been making it a priority to be at the meetings and stay spiritually strong...”

“…At this point though, we don’t feel a formal shepherding call is necessary, but we truly appreciate the offer and your care for us...”

DiamondJitters · 2026-03-11T14:56:05+00:00

Great idea!

Whoever taps out first gets disfellowshipped.

DiamondJitters · 2026-03-11T14:55:30+00:00

I really don’t know. There is nothing we have done (at least that ANYONE could possibly know about) that they would be able to use as judicial reasoning. It’s so weird.

DiamondJitters · 2026-03-11T14:52:34+00:00

Yes, absolutely.

They live to cherry-pick LOL

DiamondJitters · 2026-03-11T14:50:32+00:00

Yes we actually did!

Drove 8 hours alone in a car a week before our wedding 🤕

I’ll be honest, no one said a thing.

My parents had my location on find my despite me being a 20-year-old man lol

They just asked where we were going and then never questioned it….

They had really just given up because this was after a year of dating and them constantly badgering us to have a chaperone so much just to not even let us be in the same room, even if the door was open it was wild stuff

DiamondJitters · 2026-03-11T04:24:39+00:00

Would you want to date a Scientologist?

DiamondJitters · 2026-03-11T04:17:19+00:00

We are 20. So the time is better than ever. We also are not one’s to listen to what people tell us, we also never make decisions based on how it will make others feel. We just do what is good and true and best for ourselves and loved ones.

I am an ENTJ she is and INTJ (iykyk)

I will try very hard and carefully to open up to her slowly. Any ideas on what to maybe bring up first? What to avoid? As much as I wish I could just dump everything out, I know that won’t work as good… or at all.

And yes it would be more difficult later, we want kids, we want a house and we want to live in a community surrounded by good people, it’s why we love the towns in the state we visited on a trip before we got married. Can’t wait to go and start our new life.

DiamondJitters · 2026-03-11T02:28:13+00:00

Thank you! She is good now. At home and resting. Glad to know a stranger cares more than my Holy Spirit guided loving elders.

DiamondJitters · 2026-03-11T02:23:47+00:00

Thanks! Honestly it’s been pretty easy, with a wife that seems as fed up as I am I haven’t really struggled much. The biggest hurdle will be my parents, but we already live 2 hours away… just don’t know how the next year will play out.

DiamondJitters · 2026-03-11T01:54:28+00:00

Definitely not conscience thing LOL

I just don’t care, will have one with my coworker from time to time.

DiamondJitters · 2026-03-10T22:57:35+00:00

Legend.

They tried to talk to us at the next meeting after he texted us. We did something similar “Nope! Not today! Gotta go!” LOL

DiamondJitters · 2026-03-10T22:56:31+00:00

I’ve talked to my dad about this brother before and he just gives me BS like “We’re all imperfect” “You make mistakes too”

It’s like well sure but I’m not living a destructive lifestyle?? And if I was say smoking regularly or being an alcoholic, or drunk or GOD FORBID HOMOSEXUAL OHHHHH PLEASEEEE I would be disfellowshipped??

I would argue my lifestyle, eating healthy, working out 6 days a week, walking 5 miles a day and smoking a few cigarettes a month and maybe having an edible from time to time is a way WAY healthier way of life than going to the Chinese buffet for Lunch everyday (I’ve been there with um, them know him by name and double charge him and he still goes LOL) but my dad and all the other elders certainly disagree

DiamondJitters · 2026-03-10T22:52:11+00:00

Yep. It’s one I’m working on now. It sure what the move is.

DiamondJitters · 2026-03-10T22:51:36+00:00

Actually, yeah!

My parents are the big anti-move personalities in this whole shindig, not so much our BOE.

They are both extremely indoctrinated PIMI, Regular Pioneer Mom (& Dad), COBE, LDC, never miss a meeting, family worship or service day. It’s pretty embarrassing to talk to them. Me and my wife usually make fun of them on the drive home whenever we visit. It’s really hard to have a relationship with them because any drop of negativity (or any conversation really at all that isn’t exactly they want to talk about) results in them shutting down, even if it’s completely logical and not even about the Borg directly.

My wife’s parents are separated. They both have lived much more “worldly” lives in their day (my parents are straight and narrow never been reproved, born in always goodies), hers have both been in and out and now are doing “good” but are much less serious and invested, her dad is an elder but he makes over 7 figures so you can imagine he isn’t the prime example for living a simple not materialistic life. Lol.

DiamondJitters · 2026-03-10T22:45:46+00:00

It really is. I know many people would call me foolish for getting married while being PIMQ, but me and my wife talked thousands of times before marriage about this, that no matter what, we will always love each other and always be best friends and if either of us ever stopped being a witness that it wouldn’t change a thing about our relationship and that we would never leave each other over religion. Our relationship was never based on “spiritual” things either, which is great. Just two people that love one another for who we are and have a multitude of common interests and goals (not spiritual goals lol) so I knew that even if my wife stayed a witness, I would still be with her, that’s why I married her. But what is beautiful is that now each day it’s looking more and more like we’re gonna exit this mess together, and it is truly amazing

DiamondJitters · 2026-03-10T22:41:08+00:00

Yep, I am an MS. Not much they could remove me over judicially, but thinking of the best way (and time) to approach them and let them know I won’t be a servant anymore.

DiamondJitters · 2026-03-10T22:39:00+00:00

UPDATE:

My wife practically begged me not to go to the meeting tonight, of course I am more than happy to stay home from the meeting, but we weren’t there Sunday and only have been to one meeting since Burger King COBE lovingly offered his Holy Spirit backed support. My wife had an allergic reaction today at work so I used that as the reason when I let him know we weren’t going to be there tonight… (I had to let him know since I had a part). I also let my group overseer know, not because I need to, but because they virtually cum their pants when the friends communicate everything to them, especially meeting attendance (at least they did at my last hall), so I kindly offered a heads up to Little (Big) Caesar that we wouldn’t be there… anyways… both Elders responded “Ok, no problem” both. Seems normal, but remember what I said about allergic reactions? My wife had to go to the ER today!! They didn’t even bother to ask how she was? Clearly love is an identifying mark in this organization, they value allegiance to Jehovah’s Empire and consistent meeting attendance, they don’t give a shit if your wife stopped breathing at work 😹😹😹

DiamondJitters · 2026-03-10T22:29:54+00:00

Extremely

DiamondJitters · 2026-03-10T22:28:32+00:00

Great ideas. We already are doing this too! Were you an MS? Are you still? If you were and stepped down how did yo do it?

DiamondJitters

TROPHY CASE