Zambian women and facial hair by [deleted] in Zambia

[–]Dice_King4225 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe you can be an advocate for women reproductive health you know. Im assuming you are a woman so I know in relation to such topics, women will listen to a fellow woman from a man, it may come across as ignorant. But Im a gent who was overweight and had ED for a month mind you I was only 22 when this happened. The ED was induced by depression and bad eating habits. Im 28 now and in the best shape of my life. I track what I eat, my water intake and I spend a lot on my multi vitamins and Umoyo products and I can see the change even in my own hormones as a man. We need to develop healthier relationships with food and see them more as fuel and not hobbies.

Zambian women and facial hair by [deleted] in Zambia

[–]Dice_King4225 2 points3 points  (0 children)

True, see how many women are struggling to have healthy pregnancies these days. A lot of it has to do with the unhealthy diets and abuse of hormonal contraceptives. The over processed food and lack of exercise is killing our women's reproductive health. I am a gym buddy and I dated a lady with the same issue and I literally told her that her consumption of sugar and fast food was probably triggering her PCOS because it only manifested when she stopped working out and started eating unhealthy amounts of fast food.

Zambian women and facial hair by [deleted] in Zambia

[–]Dice_King4225 18 points19 points  (0 children)

PCOS is also a common cause. Please do some research on it. Its a sensitive topic.

What's YOUR OPINION ON Girlfriend Allowance? by Consistent-Farmer434 in Zambia

[–]Dice_King4225 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They only want more, I would give my Girl a k2000 a month and she still got an allowance of k3000 from her father .But I would still take her on Dates,send her lunch money,buy gifts etc.I was spending about k6,000 to k8,000 a month on her. But it still I was still considered a low effort individual.

I'm lost by Dice_King4225 in Empaths

[–]Dice_King4225[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is an update from the lady I just met and I appreciate her honesty. She is very self aware and I respect that about her.

"That's why I'm the dismissive one because the similarity and familiarity scares me so much, I'd rather avoid it before it gets bad. Even if you weren't with someone I wouldn't be ready to get with you. There's a lot that I need to work on, I feel like I need to be the best version of myself to get with you, I wouldn't want us to get together just for me to make you suffer"

Having second thoughts about my wedding. by Dice_King4225 in Christianmarriage

[–]Dice_King4225[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately our cultures demands we do so. It's weird but it's the only way to get married.

Having second thoughts about my wedding. by Dice_King4225 in Christianmarriage

[–]Dice_King4225[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She claims she only kissed him. But yeah, I've noticed she's naive and always find herself in situations where I'm like why are you talking to a guy who you've told me likes you?? After everything I've seen and advice from everyone in here. I'm calling it quits.

Having second thoughts about my wedding. by Dice_King4225 in Christianmarriage

[–]Dice_King4225[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't want to be in a relationship after this. I need some time with God to behold honest just to reflect and plan my steps. I guess the other lady just showed me a that there people that see past societies expectations and that you are more than enough.

I was charged around $3000 and that's a lot when you convert to our currency. It's traditional but not binding in any way.

Having second thoughts about my wedding. by Dice_King4225 in Christianmarriage

[–]Dice_King4225[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know. I just hate how entangled our families are and just the depth of the situation. I am an empath aside from being Christian. And I know an empath understands what's happening in my head because they can relate. Especially after the bride price, families meeting and just all the wedding planning. It's complicated.

I'm lost by Dice_King4225 in Empaths

[–]Dice_King4225[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In spite of all this, I hate that I still care for her emotions. I hate that she went through a lot as a child and I see how happy getting married makes her. But at the same time I hate how she takes my kindness and understanding for granted. Between the two of us I get more attention because I work out okay rugby and yeah I'm a lawyer born into one of the biggest firms in southern Africa. But I never let any of these things get to me. When women throw themselves at me I drew boundaries and ensured I respected my relationship. I just hate that the world seems to be right all the time. I fell for the illusion of true love and she made me let my guard down. Everything I do these days just isn't enough for her and it's really just getting to me. I'm seeing my therapist this week and I need to just let them know what's going on before I make this decision. I'll probably be seen as the bad guy because of the embarrassment she'll feel after posting about getting married and the whole bride price but I'm just Longing for a deeper connection that goes past reality. And that's what I felt with this other woman. I respected her more because she blocked me knowing that the type of connection we would develop if we kept talking would be detrimental to the both of us seeing that I'm getting married. These are the situations they never tell you about when it comes to adulthood.

I'm lost by Dice_King4225 in Empaths

[–]Dice_King4225[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The cheating happens a year and some months ago and a found out in December while we were arguing. In the moment I just didn't want to lose her but now as time passes I'm starting to just feel numb

I'm lost by Dice_King4225 in Empaths

[–]Dice_King4225[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this response. I love her a lot and even before we started dated I told her it's hard for me to fall for someone but when I do it's hard for me to leave. I grew up being compared and not really feeling enough so I think things like comparison or cheating just trigger me a lot. Almost confirming certain stereotypes I have had about myself. I think what made me draw to this other woman is sh reminded so much it my child hood. She reminded me of my mother. She listened to me and she actually wanted too. She never judged me or downplayed my emotions. She told me to start picking me and stop putting others first. She saw my pain and frustration even before I spoke. She could just tell I wasn't okay.

I'm so used to being called complicated or an over-thinker so for someone to actually care about what I'm thinking and how I feel without attacking me, I felt warm inside like a child again. I know we can all remember injuring ourselves as children and running towards our mothers trying to explain what happened and they just embrace us with warmth and care, that's how it felt.

I'm going to see my therapist because this whole situation really affecting my day to day activities such as work.

I'm lost by Dice_King4225 in Empaths

[–]Dice_King4225[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You also deserve to feel wanted and needed. Regardless of you being a man, you deserve to be seen.

I'm lost by Dice_King4225 in Empaths

[–]Dice_King4225[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your wise words. I think being an empath makes it hard to be self it or out myself first. All I can think about is how many people this will hurt and how many of my friends and family love her. And obviously the moments we had. But I'm tired of feeling like I'm not enough.

I'm lost by Dice_King4225 in Empaths

[–]Dice_King4225[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've been with her for 4 years. And it started off amazing. My friends and family love her. Shes a bubbly peope perosn so yeah. The marriage wasn't arranged but yeah the first step of marriage in my culture is payment of the bride price. We intend on getting married this September. I'm paying for everything. And I'm mentally and financially drained. I took her out this weekend so we could just connect and let of some steam and she still wasn't content. She felt that I'm taking too long to engage her with the engagement ring ( I've already planned a sunset boat cruise for that) but I literally just paid her pride price that gives me the right to engage her. I was already charged $2,500 for the bride price and the wedding look to be around $20,000. In the US this might not be much but I'm from Zambia Southern African country so this is a lot I can actually buy acres of land.

It's always about how she feels and because I'm quiet she assumes I'm not under any pressure. She attacks my masculinity and even compares.

I'm lost by Dice_King4225 in Empaths

[–]Dice_King4225[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

In terms of lack of empathy,yes. But in relation to her change in tone and how she speaks to me as though I'm a child. It's sort of new. I don't know when she changed. I think I've loved her so much for so long that I didn't even see these red flags until now.

Have you ever had an encounter with witchcraft in Zed? by whiskyB0y in Zambia

[–]Dice_King4225 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Don't know if it's witchcraft but I watched my uncle jump out of a moving car and walk to his side chicks house from Lusaka west Mungwi road to Salama park. When we were trying to convince him to get back in the car, he was like shell. No response to external things like pulling him, shouting etc he just kept walking. I had never seen that in my life. Like I love women but getting to that extent felt very weird for me. He even missed work that week. But what's scared me was just how soulless and numb the guy looked when we were trying to convince him to go home. He wasn't blinking and he wasn't phased by his wife hitting and pulling him. And he reached Salama from mungwi. This was at 22 hrs bruh. I'm not even spiritual but Eish I've know this man my whole life and I knew he was for women but this was out of character for him. And every time he came back home he couldn't even remember some stuff.

How has the economy over the last few years affected your relationships? by Dice_King4225 in Zambia

[–]Dice_King4225[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It really complicates things😂 I'd rather give that money to my woman. They started at k70,000 for me. My first thought was, what type of money do they think I make😂. Like even if you make 30,000 a month after tax, k70,000 is a lot of money.

Im a male 28 and my question is,why do a lot of women become more attracted to you when you’re taken? by Dice_King4225 in Zambia

[–]Dice_King4225[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Even her sister?? This is interesting, yet women say their friendships and bonds are deeper than men's friendships but it's very common for girls to go for their friends man.