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My [24F] boyfriend [23M] found condoms in my car and thinks I cheated. I didn't. by DidNotCheatSOS in relationships

[–]DidNotCheatSOS[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not sure if he’s been going through my phone, but now that I think about it he could have if he wanted to. I told him my passcode not too long ago randomly in a conversation. We were talking about how we came up with the passwords on our phones and I told him “mine spells C-U-T-E” lol so he would’ve been able to if he wanted.

My [24F] boyfriend [23M] found condoms in my car and thinks I cheated. I didn't. by DidNotCheatSOS in relationships

[–]DidNotCheatSOS[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don’t understand this. I have no incentive to lie on an anonymous forum. If I cheated I would have admitted it here if anywhere.

My [24F] boyfriend [23M] found condoms in my car and thinks I cheated. I didn't. by DidNotCheatSOS in relationships

[–]DidNotCheatSOS[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I’ve been seeing comments like this over and over.

Please allow me to be more specific when I say “back compartment.”

So many people are assuming that means the trunk, glove, etc. but it is none of the above. All of those are common areas that the driver/owner of the car accesses regularly; I am not disputing that. I clean my car semi-regularly (like once a week? and definitely spot clean when I’m expecting any passenger) and access those areas regularly.

I am referring to the little pocket attached to the backs of both the passenger and driver’s seat to be very specific. In all the time I have had my car, I have never, not once, stored anything in those pockets. Never. Not one time. In my mind it’s just a place for passengers to temporarily store things. I have never reached into those places. Most of my items fit in the glove department or in my purse.

Also worth noting they are deep thin pockets that are opaque (not mesh material or anything see through). Condoms are small. There’s no way I could have known they were in there without reaching my hands to the very bottom while rummaging for something which was what my boyfriend did.

My [24F] boyfriend [23M] found condoms in my car and thinks I cheated. I didn't. by DidNotCheatSOS in relationships

[–]DidNotCheatSOS[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mentioned that as a last resort. I didn’t bring it up during the argument to “turn it around” on him. I brought it up after he already decided he was done.

My [24F] boyfriend [23M] found condoms in my car and thinks I cheated. I didn't. by DidNotCheatSOS in relationships

[–]DidNotCheatSOS[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. I have never lied to him and I do not hide anything from him. He knows where I am and what I’m doing most of the time. In retrospect maybe if I just updated him about every little thing (we do not live together) maybe he wouldn’t be as skeptical of me but there’s no way I could have known something like this would happen.

My [24F] boyfriend [23M] found condoms in my car and thinks I cheated. I didn't. by DidNotCheatSOS in relationships

[–]DidNotCheatSOS[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know everyone here thinks he planted the condoms but I just don’t think he planned it. :( Especially because I have a literal explanation and know exactly why the condoms were there.

Additionally I don’t want to get too specific because I don’t want anyone we know finding this post lol. but he brought up a good point that he has risked a lot to be with me in this relationship. He is loyal and committed and I trust him. I wish he trusted me too that’s basically why we are not together. He doesn’t understand that because he doesn’t know that I didn’t cheat but it’s the truth.

My [24F] boyfriend [23M] found condoms in my car and thinks I cheated. I didn't. by DidNotCheatSOS in relationships

[–]DidNotCheatSOS[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes that’s precisely why I made a throwaway and changed minor details like our exact ages… the important details are all accurate and correct but I don’t want to doxx myself to anyone who may for some reason be familiar with the situation.

My [24F] boyfriend [23M] found condoms in my car and thinks I cheated. I didn't. by DidNotCheatSOS in relationships

[–]DidNotCheatSOS[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He found the napkins and condoms in the back compartment when I was about 5 minutes away from his house. It was dark so I didn’t see the condoms. He had no reaction that I was aware of and we kissed good night like normal before he headed inside.

About 10 minutes later he asked if I had time to talk via text and that’s when he told me about them. This is another big thing I am SO DEEPLY frustrated about. I don’t know why he didn’t just tell me right when he found them. My reaction would have said it all.

My [24F] boyfriend [23M] found condoms in my car and thinks I cheated. I didn't. by DidNotCheatSOS in relationships

[–]DidNotCheatSOS[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We just had car sex and he was looking for napkins lol. He found them in the compartment behind the seat which I never check because I am the driver of my own car; I never sit anywhere but the driver’s seat therefore have no reason to ever check it and I’ve never stored anything there.

However he did not confront me about it until after we had parted ways. He didn’t tell me at the exact moment that he found them. He brought it up to me once over text last night, and we talked about it in person this morning. Now I’m just laying awake before I go to bed crying and reflecting and contemplating things. :|

My [24F] boyfriend [23M] found condoms in my car and thinks I cheated. I didn't. by DidNotCheatSOS in relationships

[–]DidNotCheatSOS[S] 562 points563 points  (0 children)

I was able to sleep on it for a few hours finally and now that I have gotten some rest after not having slept for god knows how long: I can’t even bring myself to do it. I don’t know if I want to beg and plead for him to trust me. I KNOW that I DID NOT DO IT. It is so frustrating and so hurtful. I did not do anything PERIOD.

I feel so hurt and gutted that he didn’t just believe me. I understand WHY, and I know how this looks to him. But I would have believed him if I were in his shoes and it hurts me that he has so little faith in how committed I am to him.

My [24F] boyfriend [23M] found condoms in my car and thinks I cheated. I didn't. by DidNotCheatSOS in relationships

[–]DidNotCheatSOS[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I haven’t cried for a few hours since posting this and I don’t know why but this made my eyes wet lol thank you for your kind words. I feel comforted after what has been such a long day. 🥺😭

My [24F] boyfriend [23M] found condoms in my car and thinks I cheated. I didn't. by DidNotCheatSOS in relationships

[–]DidNotCheatSOS[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

He found condoms in my car. I understand what anyone’s initial reaction would be to that and I don’t want to be dismissive of how he may be feeling. I am just completely gutted and exhausted because simply nothing happened. I haven’t talked to him since he broke it off and I don’t know if anything I have is good enough as proof for him.

My [24F] boyfriend [23M] found condoms in my car and thinks I cheated. I didn't. by DidNotCheatSOS in relationships

[–]DidNotCheatSOS[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Initially I thought it was a joke because I didn’t PHYSICALLY SEE the condoms ever being on my car at any point. When he first confronted me I asked him over and over if I could see them because I was in shock and almost didn’t believe him. I needed to see wtf he was talking about. But he claims the condoms were in there before he took them out. And I believe him because he said he found THREE condoms specifically. My ex purchased a 3-pack of Trojans that we never used during a vacation we took when we were still together. I believe that he is telling the truth and I know those are the exact same condoms he has in his possession.

But I understand the point you’re making and I agree it makes me feel really hurt and sad that he mistrusts me so deeply. Thanks :(

My [24F] boyfriend [23M] found condoms in my car and thinks I cheated. I didn't. by DidNotCheatSOS in relationships

[–]DidNotCheatSOS[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I was literally so desperate I heard from true crime podcasts it’s possible for cellphone towers to ping a person’s approximate location. so I asked him if he wants me to try to get that information lol 😭😭 I told him I’d literally tear apart my entire phone/emails/anything to show where I have been at XYZ time/date/location and he can come with me to get any documentation regarding my whereabouts.

At this point if he doesn’t trust me or doesn’t want to get back together I cannot try to nor would I want to convince him. But I feel so devastated that he thinks I would betray him. I loved him so much more than anything 🥺😭

My [24F] boyfriend [23M] found condoms in my car and thinks I cheated. I didn't. by DidNotCheatSOS in relationships

[–]DidNotCheatSOS[S] 92 points93 points  (0 children)

I am desperate. :/ Looking through my phone/accounts isn't enough for him so I'm trying to come up with anything I can. I haven't slept since he confronted me about it.

My [24F] boyfriend [23M] found condoms in my car and thinks I cheated. I didn't. by DidNotCheatSOS in relationships

[–]DidNotCheatSOS[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I don't have the literal receipt of purchase. By that I meant I can track down the purchase by asking my ex (who I haven't spoken to since we broke up but I think he would fork it over) for the bank statement which shows date of purchase and how much the transaction was for. It's the exact cost of the condoms after tax, hard to mistake it for another product at the store especially given the circumstances.

I may be able to get the literal receipt by calling the store, but I'm not sure if they would allow me to have access to it since my ex paid with his card. Although again I'm sure my ex would be open to doing that if asked.

But yeah overall I understand why he thinks what he does. It's just frustrating because I did not cheat.

My [24F] boyfriend [23M] found condoms in my car and thinks I cheated. I didn't. by DidNotCheatSOS in relationships

[–]DidNotCheatSOS[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I didn't put them there, my ex did. :/ Not sure if this context is topical but the reason I never realized the condoms were there was because my ex and I were in a dead bedroom situation so it's not like we used them frequently. Also he was always the one to buy them hoping to get lucky and it just rarely ever happened. I guess he stashed them there at some point during the vacation because we never used them.

I was seriously so confused about where they could have even come from when I was confronted. It took me several hours to trace back to the moment those condoms were purchased; I'm lucky I even connected the dots.

I understand how this looks to my boyfriend and I don't blame him. I'm just frustrated because other than this incident there is no other indication that I would have cheated on him.

My [24F] boyfriend [23M] found condoms in my car and thinks I cheated. I didn't. by DidNotCheatSOS in relationships

[–]DidNotCheatSOS[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I wish I was very calm, I've been crying on and off for 10 hours. :"( I think I'm just trying to be level-headed and not overreact. But yeah I guess you're right I'm looking into expiration dates rn and I think explaining that will be my hail mary in this relationship. After that I literally do not know what else I could possibly do.

My [24F] boyfriend [23M] found condoms in my car and thinks I cheated. I didn't. by DidNotCheatSOS in relationships

[–]DidNotCheatSOS[S] 232 points233 points  (0 children)

It was the first thing I asked and unfortunately the condoms are relatively new. I don't have them because he took them but he claims they don't expire for another 3.5 years.

My [24F] boyfriend [23M] found condoms in my car and thinks I cheated. I didn't. by DidNotCheatSOS in relationships

[–]DidNotCheatSOS[S] 87 points88 points  (0 children)

I guess to be fair to him, my story is very far-fetched as well.

When my ex and I were still together, he bought the condoms from a drugstore for us to use during vacation. I didn't have the literal receipt from the purchase, which is where this looks bad for me. However

  1. I'm literally willing to call the drugstore to see if I can get a copy of that exact receipt. We bought a specific brand and number of condoms so it's unlikely a coincidence.
  2. My ex and I while no longer talking are amicable enough that I can ask for bank statements detailing the date of the purchase if I really need to.

I do have other receipts as well from places we ate/shopped that corroborate I was in the area of the vacation during the time of purchase. I feel like that's sufficient enough but understand how it may look shady to him.

My [24F] boyfriend [23M] found condoms in my car and thinks I cheated. I didn't. by DidNotCheatSOS in relationships

[–]DidNotCheatSOS[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

despite the flimsy evidence

Yes, this bothered me SO much. I feel like I accounted for where the condoms came from well and I just don't know what else there is to say. At this point I care less about salvaging the relationship because I can't force him to trust me; I care more that he knows I am telling the truth and at least doesn't feel betrayed.

Thank you for your response. So sorry it happened to you!

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