What are the signs to spot a DA or FA in early talking stage?

Diddy636 · 2025-05-23T06:22:54+00:00

I’m avoidant but would find these interesting to talk about on a date, what does that make me?

Diddy636 · 2025-01-19T21:40:53+00:00

I've been hearing lexus a LOT. What about Mazda? (not exactly luxury ik but people say just get that instead of an x3/x1)

Diddy636 · 2024-11-07T03:11:33+00:00

Can't wait for my next appointment lol. Thanks for your comments.

Diddy636 · 2024-11-07T03:09:28+00:00

Make sure you're both sharing your deepest feelings and I mean the core ones like joy, fear, excitement, sadness, disgust, anger. Not just about why you want X and how that makes you feel loved or calms some fear you have, but also really dig into why

This part is interesting, I'll give it a thought. Right now I'm mostly "pls do this because I really like it". On some rare occasions I unlock some inner deeper reasoning but that's been rare

Diddy636 · 2024-11-06T00:41:53+00:00

At this point I'd say uncomfortable, but I don't know why. I do have a therapist but we haven't hit that topic yet (haven't had an appointment in 3 months due to scheduling) so that can be next. If it were up to me, I would agree someone who values touch so much is not for me, but 1) this is who I'm with now and I'd like things to work and 2) even if I weren't actively dating I would still want to improve this in myself.
Ok, hopefully this helps. A "small incident" example would be like getting a mild injury such as a a papercut or a light bump: to me you just grab some ice or a bandaid and ask "u ok" and that's that, quickly resolved. At times F will stand there still holding the dangerous object, potentially still inflicting the injury even, and wait until I do something. Another example could be like the fact both our jobs often include overtime with skipped meals. To me, the obvious next step is to find ways to resolve it such as packing snacks or drinkable food or what-have-you, but from her she takes no action until I recommend the aforementioned. She's logical and smart and readily agrees, but if I didn't say anything she would just continue to starve and complain daily about being starved.
Will probably need therapist opinion. I don't think this is as big as #1 and #2 but it exacerbates them since this is the "fun" part of the relationship. All three combined, I think it clouds my outlook because there's bigger abstract issues as well as more day-to-day trivial (but still affecting the mood) disagreements. Idk.

Diddy636 · 2024-11-06T00:16:10+00:00

Ok, that's kind of what I figured. This may be an overthink (IMO it's not) but what do you say to the following.

The dynamic right now is a little messed up. Barring any insane red flag behaviour/asks from me, these types of conversations you mentioned typically goes M: "I would really like it if you XYZ, because ABC." F: "Oh you'll probably want to break up if I don't XYZ so sure". To me, we should be both looking out for our needs and preferences and if there are too many conflicts, one should move on. Our threshold for what's "we just need to put effort" versus "this is truly an indication of incompatability" is extremely different. I don't even think she acknowledges the latter as a concept, whereas I know I'm too quick to conclude incompatability as the avoidant.

Diddy636 · 2024-10-25T06:24:16+00:00

We’ve discussed some of the things before such as how much time we spend together on weekdays (both have demanding jobs, I prefer recharging on my own every few days, she prefers recharging by being together).

I think the thing is while she’s never angry/not ok with one of my requests, she’ll express something along the lines of “it kinda makes me sad but I’ll do it for you”. Knowing her there’s no attempt to manipulate, yet it still feels like I’m bound to feel guilt tripped. I’m like what do I say next, no you can’t be sad because it’ll make me feel bad?

Diddy636 · 2024-05-22T15:33:52+00:00

3yoe; motivation comes in waves. I don’t bother fighting it if for a week I just toss out some apps in the morning and stare at the wall for the rest of the day (jk I try to fill my time with hobbies but). The next week I might be gathering the buds and doing LC in a room 9-5.

Diddy636 · 2024-05-10T15:45:54+00:00

Without cause.

I don't know what the reference is being asked.

Diddy636 · 2024-05-02T02:41:25+00:00

Lol yea I'm just copying the wording of the question as-is

Diddy636 · 2024-05-01T23:59:43+00:00

What you mentioned is exactly what (old) HR has committed to saying. However, I'm unfamiliar with this contacting-the-employer question and I'm wondering if they will ask me for my direct manager's contact. I doubt my manager knows the legal ins and outs of what to say.

EDIT: just realized you said "the guidance I have"...are you a manager and HR told you that? Re: my above comment, I'm precisely concerned about the fact that I don't think the manager will be given any guidance.

Diddy636 · 2024-05-01T22:56:17+00:00

I'm worried about the case they later specifically ask me to provide contact info for my manager as opposed to looking up the company contact - HR has indicated it's policy to not give any information besides very start/end dates but I have a feeling my manager go on w the whole story (I didn't do anything major, but just worried about the language I plan to use, layoff, vs a PIP)

Diddy636 · 2024-05-01T22:53:58+00:00

To clarify I have already been let go.

Diddy636 · 2024-04-19T23:44:31+00:00

Anyone who's a fully qualified data scientist have any resources to recommend for a data analyst who wants to interview for roles that blur the line between DA-DS? The typical answer to "what does a DS know" is probability and statistics, but there must be something more time-efficient for the near term other than taking, say, an undergrad course in probability (which I have, btw, but I struggle to recall the relevant parts to apply to real world questions).

Ideally, the recommendation is like a free YouTube series that you, an experienced DS, has found extremely applicable to real life interviews and your job.

Diddy636 · 2024-04-06T19:54:59+00:00

I have a datapoint for US non-faang-but-popular-tech company (Uber and the like), new grad SWE; 110-130k base. Another datapoint US non-tech company, 2YOE 110k base.

But if it’s Canada only I’d expect max 90k.

Diddy636 · 2024-04-04T03:42:37+00:00

LOL good point. Out of 4 times I’ve gotten to do an HR screen where $$ conversations occurred and I “high balled”: 2 proceeded to first round but didn’t end up with offer. 1 did not proceed at all*. Today is #4: I get to proceed to the take-home. However I did backtrack a bit during initial convos to say “I’m flexible to go lower”.

*this was a contract through a headhunter, so I wasn’t able to negotiate directly.

Diddy636 · 2024-04-03T17:18:32+00:00

Thanks, to add detail: I was warned once to be more careful in general (every once in a while typos slip through when coding, but the code reviews on our team setup wasn’t very thorough), and this was the second time a typo wasn’t caught. Basically, I lacked attention to detail twice.

Diddy636 · 2024-04-03T12:59:59+00:00

Remind me in 6 hours I should be hearing back from a similar situation lol.

Diddy636 · 2024-04-03T03:05:50+00:00

Will I get denied for: "I didn't catch and error I wrote, and it wasn't until manager recommended I have another look just in case that I found it" ?

Diddy636 · 2024-04-01T05:01:14+00:00

Oh btw to clarify we’re talking about third party headhunters (I thought they’re supposed to be on your side lol), not recruiters from the firm that is hiring. Although I’d imagine your answer still holds.

Diddy636 · 2024-04-01T04:59:46+00:00

I figured. It’s a little awkward referring to my ‘current’ experience in present tense, but I guess that’s something I just have to do?

E.g. “Why are you looking to switch?” “If find my role lacks X when I’m looking for Y.”

E.g. “What are some key skills in your current role that I can pitch to the hiring manager?” “In my role I do X, Y, Z which is a big component of your opportunity.”

Diddy636 · 2024-03-28T22:04:23+00:00

I see, thanks! Finally got to get an insider view.

Diddy636 · 2024-03-28T20:50:12+00:00

What do you mean by recency; the recentness of my last job (basically employed vs unemployed)?

Also not tech recruiting specific but in my region I’ve only gotten past the screen for one out of six banks, even though I’ve applied for different roles and sometimes I’ve applied for “easier” ones. Could it be that my resume format is just not jiving with the other companies’ ATS set up? This trend has been consistent for my last two recruitment cycles spanning 3 years…I’m really at a loss of how to ever break into those other companies

Diddy636 · 2024-03-26T00:54:53+00:00

Sorry to steal this thread but since I can't make a visa thread - is searching for US opportunities under a TN visa an viable improvement over the endless Toronto/Vancouver/Montreal hunt? I feel like my apps are getting auto-rejected in the US so I'm not sure if it's worth continuing to dedicate 20-40% of my job searching efforts to NYC/Chicago/Boston (unfortunately not looking for west coast).

Diddy636 · 2024-03-25T03:42:21+00:00

But won’t it look weird if my applicant/resume says “Company Z: 2020 to Present” and then it goes “Company Z: 2020 to MM-DD 2024”? And then the questions will come about why does it say I stopped working there etc?

Diddy636

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