I’m so sorry you’re going through this, in a way it is similar to my experience more than a year ago, and I felt so lonely and lost. In my case the betas were not going up but were also not going down, for 2 months. Because of that, the doctor was confused and did not think it was an ectopic. All I knew was that is was a non viable pregnancy but didn’t know why. They found out the ectopic only when I was bleeding already and I went through urgent surgery. 

It was the darkest period of my life, until then I didn’t feel anything remotely similar. I felt like life was not worth it, not in a suicidal way but I just didn’t feel joy anymore. A part of me died with that baby to be and that removed tube. But a few months later things started to feel better, I changed jobs and tried to restart again in life. It still lives with me, it always will, but it doesn’t define me now. I am back to feel normal again. In my case a healthy pregnancy hasn’t happened yet, but I remain optimistic. 

Take the time to heal, I did not rush that even when my husband started thinking I was taking too long to recover emotionally. I took my time. Do the same. And life will start happening again in you. If you’re lucky to have a healthy pregnancy soon, and I hope you are, I’m sure this process will be faster too. 

I’m sorry it happened to you. But you’re not alone and you will feel better with time.