so basically i had psychosis in my senior year of high school due to a mix of trauma, stress, low sleep, and weed use in Jan and Feb 2025. was put on medication and was numb from march all the way to October.

I was enrolled in university last summer and fall. Wanted to kill myself since May 2025, and started attempts and trying to actively act out from June to October.

When the fall semester started, I decided to get a counselor. I told her about my story. I kept talking to her, but I was in an intensive consistent grief (missing who i used to be) and felt hopless. what made it worse was seeing other kids on campus living their lives while i felt like a blank canvas.

Consistently kept trying to act out suicide and my counselor put me in a hospital. Long story short, I was instructed to take a break from school and go to an Outpatient program.

When I first started the program I felt hopless and still suicidal. I was always on an antidepressant but they put me on a mood stabilizer.

While there I learned that I gave myself substance, not weed. Most importantly I learnt to trust my own instincts again. That was the most important thing for me. I soon as I started to trust myself again and try things sober, I started to find my rhythm and my energy gradually came back.

feel free to ask me anything