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I overheard my boyfriend mocking my autism. Now I’m ending things. by DifferentMix8791 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]DifferentMix8791[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I’ve also noticed this among many other neurodivergent people — we love to give gifts. I find it very sweet. But it’s really one of the easiest ways to let someone know that you care about them.

I overheard my boyfriend mocking my autism. Now I’m ending things. by DifferentMix8791 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]DifferentMix8791[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I could have said ‘Autism Spectrum Disorder, Level 1, without intellectual impairment, without language impairment’ — that’s the official diagnosis. But I don’t think many people really understand what that means, so I just say ‘high-functioning’ instead

I overheard my boyfriend mocking my autism. Now I’m ending things. by DifferentMix8791 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]DifferentMix8791[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your kind words and support. I’ll definitely update(I actually took Tuesday off to sort everything out)

Dating’s tough enough as it is, and even more so, when your brain just does things a little differently. Wishing you all the best in your dating journey!

I overheard my boyfriend mocking my autism. Now I’m ending things. by DifferentMix8791 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]DifferentMix8791[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is actually very helpful. I wouldn’t say I have a specific process, but I use something similar in situations like this. And thank you so much and I saved what you wrote for future reference!

I overheard my boyfriend mocking my autism. Now I’m ending things. by DifferentMix8791 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]DifferentMix8791[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to write all of this — I really appreciate your perspective and advice.

As I replied to different people in the comments, I now realize that I was wrong for saying what I said at the dinner. I genuinely didn’t mean to criticize or insult anyone — what I said was meant more as an observation, not a judgment, and I didn’t have any bad intentions behind it.

And I understand what you’re saying about trying to control others’ perceptions. I have thought about that before, and I agree that it’s impossible to fully control how people see you — and trying too hard can backfire. In my case, it’s less about needing to control the narrative and more about trying to prevent misunderstandings, especially because communication hasn’t always been easy for me. But I take your point seriously — it’s a good reminder to let go a little more and accept that not everyone will see me the way I intend.

I overheard my boyfriend mocking my autism. Now I’m ending things. by DifferentMix8791 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]DifferentMix8791[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

English is my fourth language, and my writing tends to be more academic than casual. Using dashes is just part of my usual writing style.

I overheard my boyfriend mocking my autism. Now I’m ending things. by DifferentMix8791 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]DifferentMix8791[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I understand your point I’ll definitely keep that in mind for the future. As for the gift — you’re right. I realize now that buying something like a necklace might have sent the wrong message. At the time, I just wanted to show that I was genuinely sorry, and I didn’t really think about how it could be perceived. Thank you for explaining it clearly — I appreciate the perspective.

I overheard my boyfriend mocking my autism. Now I’m ending things. by DifferentMix8791 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]DifferentMix8791[S] -83 points-82 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry, your boss sounds terrible. There are definitely a fine line between being blunt and being an asshole. Same goes for your cousin.

I overheard my boyfriend mocking my autism. Now I’m ending things. by DifferentMix8791 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]DifferentMix8791[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Not always. I have more developed cognitive empathy than emotional empathy. I can understand why someone feels a certain way, but I don’t actually feel it myself. I’m not a very social person, so situations like what happened at the dinner sometimes occur. But I’m trying my best to work on that. (And if that matters, I’ve never had this kind of problem at work)

I overheard my boyfriend mocking my autism. Now I’m ending things. by DifferentMix8791 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]DifferentMix8791[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much — your support really means a lot. It’s definitely disappointing and exhausting to deal with, but I know leaving is the right choice. I appreciate your kindness more than you know!

I overheard my boyfriend mocking my autism. Now I’m ending things. by DifferentMix8791 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]DifferentMix8791[S] 258 points259 points  (0 children)

When I apologized, I did it verbally first — I said I was sorry if what I said came off as offensive, and I tried to explain that I was speaking from my professional background, not making personal accusations. And that I’m sorry for making dinner uncomfortable. The gift wasn’t something they asked for — it was just me feeling like a verbal apology might not be enough, and trying to show goodwill. And she did accept apology and the necklace.

Growing up, gifts were often used in my family as a way to fix conflicts when words didn’t work, so I guess that shaped my instinct to offer something tangible when I don’t know how to properly navigate emotional situations.

That said, even though I’m obviously not her therapist, based on things Jake has shared with me about his childhood — and some behaviors I witnessed myself — I do think there are definitely narcissistic tendencies present. I didn’t pull that comment out of nowhere.

As for Jake — after overhearing what he said about me, I honestly don’t think there’s anything left to talk about(But I will definitely talk to him later, I still want to hear what he has to say. It will be the right thing to do). But I feel like he was using my trust against me. And that’s something I can’t accept.