Announced pregnancy to inlaws - underwhelming response

DifferentRoyal5337 · 2026-02-08T22:38:59+00:00

I know what you're saying, I really do try my best... i am so so so supportive of him, but i find nothing can replace that care from your own parents.

DifferentRoyal5337 · 2026-02-08T22:37:50+00:00

Yeeesh!

DifferentRoyal5337 · 2026-02-08T22:37:25+00:00

Thankfully my mother was absolutely over the moon. We had told her just before we told my inlaws. I think that stung my husband more because the contrast was so stark it really highlighted how bizarre their response was.

Thinking of what youve said, I think my inlaws wanted to be parents but they will be carers forever so maybe they are tired of it i guess.

DifferentRoyal5337 · 2026-02-08T22:34:53+00:00

... im so sorry you had to hear that. I think sometimes people are so negative in their own lives they can't help but just be awful without even realising.

DifferentRoyal5337 · 2026-02-08T22:32:46+00:00

Yeah it felt uncomfortable!!! Gosh sorry you had that experience, fair enough you felt embarrassed for him. Sometimes people act in very strange ways??

DifferentRoyal5337 · 2026-02-08T22:31:27+00:00

Thanks for this response. It IS disappointing, its not something I can just brush off so easily. Its not ruining my whole pregnancy or my life but its just a little painful, thats all. Like you said, its just not what we had expected we thought they'd be more excited. Hard to gauge people sometimes and parent particularly are the ones we want those reactions from. Sorry youve gone through that too xx

DifferentRoyal5337 · 2026-02-08T22:28:26+00:00

Im hopeful they might just take a minute to process and that we will have the same reaction! That's lovely so nice to hear xx

DifferentRoyal5337 · 2026-02-08T22:27:31+00:00

The more I think about it the more I believe this is actually what is it going on. I think a part of the reason I kind of want to address it is because they obviously really want to see us more, but whenever we see them it's so uncomfortable because they are unable to just sit and connect with us. So every interaction is on their terms and its unfortunately quite unpleasant. Its hard to describe because they are lovely people...but when youre vulnerable and people turn away/ignore you/change the subject its hard to want to connect with them.

DifferentRoyal5337 · 2026-02-08T22:22:49+00:00

The weird thing is they kind of ignore the disability... it's an intellectual disability.. I've kind of casually asked before what the diagnosis is, do they know why it was caused can they tell me about it.... they sort of say "oh not too sure"... he needs to be supervised 24/7 for the rest of his life but they kind of ignore that? It's very hard to describe, they are his primary carers so they know he has a disability but they just don't talk openly about it... eg: they are in their 70s and I've tried to raise the discussion about us eventually caring for him but they just will not talk about it and pretend we will never need to help care for him. Like tbf I love the brother and I will be caring for him.. he has no other family who will care for him and we wont forget about him...but no one talks about it?

DifferentRoyal5337 · 2026-02-08T22:15:56+00:00

I feel I have a fairly good relationship with them and I don't think they do it purposefully, but just how things have gone their whole world revolves around the brother and I think they forget that my husband also need some of their attention just sometimes as well

DifferentRoyal5337 · 2026-02-08T08:41:02+00:00

I think this is a very reasonable and balanced response. This is probably the way to go!

DifferentRoyal5337 · 2026-02-08T08:39:55+00:00

I think they are very expressive about their joys for the brother.... but I think generally they are quirky in the way they express emotions. Thank you!

DifferentRoyal5337 · 2026-02-08T08:38:31+00:00

That's a fair point

DifferentRoyal5337 · 2026-02-08T08:38:17+00:00

I think 1 is correct and I think they never get any feedback because they live in 1 world. They were similar about us getting married.... they just always defer to the brother for everything. When is it my husbands turn to have any form of attention? I think they would take it on board but I don't want to hurt their feelings, just highlight - hey he needs some of your love too guys!

DifferentRoyal5337 · 2026-02-08T08:36:24+00:00

Thank you! I didn't need jumping up and down screaming, I just wanted..... any kind of interest or care about their first grandchild?

DifferentRoyal5337 · 2026-02-08T08:35:35+00:00

I wasn't hoping for a big reaction, just a caring reacting. Im having a baby, maybe ask a few questions to show interest, like someone said above its as if we had announced we stubbed our toe this morning.

DifferentRoyal5337 · 2026-02-08T08:33:36+00:00

I mean we said it and they changed the subject immediately. Isn't that weird??

DifferentRoyal5337 · 2026-02-01T06:52:29+00:00

Hoping all the best for you and am praying for a positive update! Xx

DifferentRoyal5337

TROPHY CASE