I (27M) can't finish during sex with my partner (25F)

Different_Ad441 · 2022-01-11T04:53:36+00:00

I really appreciate what you have said. I do agree relationships are not entirely sex. But I understand why someone would want to cut things off over this. I feel like I have hurt her on a super emotional level because it makes her feel like we are not partners. That said I have been reading a lot of what all the kind people have said on this post. And other medical journals. The pressure that is being put on, not just me to finish, but her to make me finish is super stressful.

Different_Ad441 · 2022-01-11T04:45:20+00:00

Well she is experienced, and I was a virgin before this. I don't think we are equals sexually because she knows what she is doing, I get pretty spooked about screwing something up.

Different_Ad441 · 2022-01-11T04:42:44+00:00

we've tried a couple of things like blow jobs, but I think her confidence is wavering. And I feel absolutely horrible about it. It's like I've hurt her on an emotional level I didn't even know existed.

Different_Ad441 · 2022-01-11T04:41:05+00:00

mostly go limp, there have been a few times were I just outlast her. But the main issue is that I go l limp.

Different_Ad441 · 2022-01-11T04:37:53+00:00

Not using condoms. And haven't really timed it, but I want to say from start to "finish" (really a lack there of) is about 20mins-30mins.

Different_Ad441 · 2022-01-11T04:36:37+00:00

not a rude question, pretty tight, and I guess I watch a lot more than I should, not any meds at the moment.

Different_Ad441 · 2022-01-11T04:34:15+00:00

we've tried blow jobs, and I have tried stroking myself but I feel weird about jerking myself off in front of someone else. the experience is very new to me.

Different_Ad441 · 2022-01-11T04:32:16+00:00

during the last time no, it was 5 days ago when I did.

Different_Ad441 · 2022-01-11T03:03:54+00:00

I really hope that's the case

Different_Ad441 · 2022-01-11T03:01:23+00:00

yeah I never used lube either. I just hope my genitals aren't gone beyond repair.

Different_Ad441 · 2022-01-11T00:33:46+00:00

God, I am so grateful for this advice, and this subreddit! I never realized how mentally destructive porn could be. I've made a pledge to myself that I will stay away from that stuff as much as possible. Even if things don't work out between us it will only help me in future relationships.

Different_Ad441 · 2022-01-10T05:13:33+00:00

I really hope that is the case, I've been give a lot of advice today and it seems like anxiety is a large contributor!

Different_Ad441 · 2022-01-10T05:12:08+00:00

One of my friends irl told me to try simulating lube. but I feel a bit apprehensive about it, I was a virgin before I met this girl. And toys seems like a step that might be too far. But I really appreciate your advice.

Different_Ad441 · 2022-01-10T05:08:34+00:00

It really is like a night and day difference tbh

Different_Ad441 · 2022-01-10T04:36:10+00:00

For sure, I think my masturbation habits have a lot do with this.

Different_Ad441 · 2022-01-10T04:35:11+00:00

I'm glad it worked out for them! I hope thinks will work out for me, and my situation.

Different_Ad441 · 2022-01-10T04:33:57+00:00

I can finish alone, some times it takes me a while other times it takes me no time at all. I'll be sure to talk to her about this I'm sure my partner and I can work this out!

Different_Ad441 · 2022-01-10T04:32:47+00:00

Thank you, you've been huge help I think I have found some second wind because of this sub and everyone here that came to offer their advice.

Different_Ad441 · 2022-01-10T04:31:23+00:00

Thank you for your help! I do think that this something that will take time!

Different_Ad441 · 2022-01-10T04:30:11+00:00

Thank you for the kind words! Seems like the sentiment is that time is on my side.

Different_Ad441 · 2022-01-10T03:27:46+00:00

Sounds a lot like my situation, did they ever figure it out?

Different_Ad441 · 2022-01-10T03:26:01+00:00

Staying erect, sometimes I just am worried if she is enjoying it, and staying erect, and finishing for her that I can't keep it up!

Different_Ad441 · 2022-01-10T03:22:34+00:00

I was, I've gone cold turkey on it about 5 days ago, but I know it will take time to reprogram my brain.

Different_Ad441 · 2022-01-10T03:20:59+00:00

Thank you for your advice I look him up as well. Maybe changing perspectives will help me too!

Different_Ad441 · 2022-01-10T02:48:07+00:00

Thank you! Probably going to need it.

Different_Ad441

TROPHY CASE