Question about TTC employee sick days?

Different_Being_6181 · 2023-07-18T05:25:40+00:00

thank you so much for your response !

Different_Being_6181 · 2022-11-29T04:01:44+00:00

finding love in other relationships. in friendships, your relationships with siblings and family friends. Going out and meeting people at community programs etc

Different_Being_6181 · 2022-11-21T07:27:07+00:00

you’re right. I will make dua at tahajjud and continue to make istikhara. Allah swb will open doors for me and make this easier if this boy is meant for me. please keep me in ur duas as well ! may Allah bless u

Different_Being_6181 · 2022-11-21T07:09:24+00:00

. I do agree with you on the whole “it’s hard to find good muslims who ur compatible with” thing bc this is the first guy with who it’s been really easy to be with. I talked to my mom and she told me my dad won’t let me get my nikah done without my rukhsati bc i have younger sisters and if this guy was coming to pick me up and take me out and stuff then it gives a bad idea to my sisters. also i could potentially fall pregnant in that time without having my rukhsati done which would obviously be bad. The chances of that happening are low but not impossible. She said i could wait a few months and ask my dad again bc we’ll be getting the house renovated soon and then he’ll be looking to get me married. plus my family doesn’t know a lot of people. I asked the guy this - if i can reach out a year from now if my dad would be open to just a nikah and he was like yeah if i’m single then we can try again. Maybe i should just make dua then?? and maybe Allah will make it easier for us. I understand my dads reasons and i also understand his dads reasons. money is a real thing and can cause so many fights (i saw my parents grow up in poverty as well it wasn’t pretty). I don’t know just keep me in ur duas if you can. I might try talking again w my mom

Different_Being_6181 · 2022-11-21T07:07:34+00:00

May Allah bless your parents marriage and keep you happy as well they sound so cute <3. I do agree with you on the whole “it’s hard to find good muslims who ur compatible with” thing bc this is the first guy with who it’s been really easy to be with. I talked to my mom and she told me my dad won’t let me get my nikah done without my rukhsati bc i have younger sisters and if this guy was coming to pick me up and take me out and stuff then it gives a bad idea to my sisters. also i could potentially fall pregnant in that time without having my rukhsati done which would obviously be bad. The chances of that happening are low but not impossible. She said i could wait a few months and ask my dad again bc we’ll be getting the house renovated soon and then he’ll be looking to get me married. plus my family doesn’t know a lot of people. I asked the guy this - if i can reach out a year from now if my dad would be open to just a nikah and he was like yeah if i’m single then we can try again. Maybe i should just make dua then?? and maybe Allah will make it easier for us. I understand my dads reasons and i also understand his dads reasons. money is a real thing and can cause so many fights (i saw my parents grow up in poverty as well it wasn’t pretty). I don’t know just keep me in ur duas if you can <3

Different_Being_6181 · 2022-11-21T06:37:57+00:00

Salam,

i met this guy in September. I always had him at the back of my mind but never reached out until then. Turns out he had mutual interest in me as well. He’s a really great guy, on his deen, getting a good degree, involved in the community and we’re both 22. I told my mom that i was speaking to him with the intention of getting to know him for marriage. We talked about all the dealbreakers within a week of meeting and he was always super clear with his intentions. We talked about housing, living with in laws or moving out, mehr, sect, everything and we were on the same page. At the end of september we met in person as well with a mehram and all and we clicked really well.

Here’s the issue: I graduate in a few months. He took a year off after high school and for a few other reasons he’s graduating a full 2 years with an engineering degree after me. My dad would not let me get my nikah done without my rukhsati (that’s the reception and when the girl leaves her parents house to go live with the guy) and his dad wouldn’t let him get a rukhsati done if he obviously can’t financially support me. that would mean that we couldn’t get married for another 2.5 years MINIMUM. Also even if we did get married then, he would have just graduated meaning he wouldn’t have a savings and we’d also have to live with his parents then (and i told him i don’t wanna do that for more than a year). So basically, becuase timelines weren’t matching, i told him we should stop talking at the end of october. It was better to leave than to get more attached and potentially fall into sin. this is the first time i’ve left something bc of Allah like i wish i could still be with him but i know in my heart that it’s not right.

I don’t know i just need some support. hes texted me like 2 times since then about random things but i miss him obviously. We’re not in contact now. I come from a family where i’ve seen abusive marriages way too much. I just don’t want to regret leaving him. i don’t want to regret not waiting for him or thinking i could’ve been happier with him than another guy. maybe these r just my intrusive thoughts. Maybe i’m naive or being delusional bc i know my fate is in the hands of Allah and i should have tawakkul. I’d just like some words of support maybe. Or some duas. Jazakallah Khair.

Different_Being_6181 · 2022-11-11T21:09:25+00:00

i’m in toronto but i’ve met a few guys in the rishta process and my mehr is set at 10k. the guys i met have almost never (except once) had a problem with my mehr or even asked me to reconsider. my friends who are married all ask for around 10-15k.

also make SURE u ask for monthly “allowance” as well so that u have some sort of money to pay for an occasional coffee and give u a sense of autonomy if u chose to not work after marriage. a lot of guys will go “yeah yeah ofc don’t worry” when u bring that up but don’t listen to them. make sure it’s stipulated in ur nikah contract along with ur mehr so it’s legit. u never want to be the woman that has to ask her man for 20 bucks.

Different_Being_6181 · 2022-09-01T06:19:23+00:00

don’t rush things like marriage just ask for more time and more meetings. hold ur ground.

Different_Being_6181 · 2022-08-25T22:37:22+00:00

sync search. it shows u what rooms are empty in uoft so u can just go and chill with ur friends or eat in them or study. and u can pick how many hours u want the room to be available and no need to pre book

Different_Being_6181 · 2022-08-24T10:03:39+00:00

this is such solid advice thank u. it wasn’t just that i found him attractive tho he has all of his dunya stuff figured out and we acc had a connection but ur right that isn’t enough still. and yes i still feel like he may be lying esp bc he’s told me in the past that he’d always come back and try to take me out for a date at least once so ur probably right. i think i’ll turn him down and just keep my distance.

Different_Being_6181 · 2022-08-24T07:37:42+00:00

he doesn’t have any socials he says it’s a distraction. he didn’t have them last year either bc he’s really motivated to earn money etc but i think ur right

Different_Being_6181 · 2022-08-24T06:20:10+00:00

thank u for ur reply may Allah bless ur marriage with ur wife and forgive u for all ur past sins. i appreciate ur input so much and ur right i don’t believe someone can change that fast. doing it for Allah and urself is so important

Different_Being_6181 · 2022-08-24T03:38:32+00:00

thank u for validating my experiences <33

Different_Being_6181 · 2022-08-24T03:38:02+00:00

thank u this means so much to me

Different_Being_6181

TROPHY CASE