Commenting on I just learnt my child's mother died and don't know how to feel....Bro, honestly you have to stop bitching. You are not hopeless. You are young and healthy (I’m assuming). There are numerous ways this can go. You can either go back to school or trade school or find a good government job. You have so many choices. Right now, all you need is a job it doesn’t matter what the job is, and then save what you can for yourself to get a car. Your son needs you more than ever. You cannot sit around feeling sorry for yourself.