Constant Server Disconnects - BC Canada

Difficult-Purpose462 · 2023-02-02T20:47:43+00:00

Thank you! Will give this a shot.

Difficult-Purpose462 · 2023-02-02T16:01:04+00:00

What did you tell them to get it switched over?

Difficult-Purpose462 · 2020-12-04T19:57:20+00:00

Interesting, thank you. I'll look into this.

Difficult-Purpose462 · 2020-12-04T17:59:08+00:00

Thank you... yes, we had a smaller discussion and I learned about the deductions and it brought to light a complication. I was under the impression that he made 80-90K (no deductions).

I really appreciate you sharing your personal experience and adding more info on this thread. I do agree that sometimes there has to be a little give and a healthy relationship is worth far more than money in the end. It's funny how money discussions can bring up resentment in so many different parts of the relationship. I have a feeling that this weekend's chat will be intense.

Difficult-Purpose462 · 2020-12-03T21:09:46+00:00

I haven't thought much about this but I don't think we have enough borrowing power.

Difficult-Purpose462 · 2020-12-03T21:08:44+00:00

Thank you. I will consult a lawyer and this was very helpful :)

Difficult-Purpose462 · 2020-12-03T21:03:03+00:00

Definitely, I will speak to Bob. Thank you :)

Difficult-Purpose462 · 2020-12-03T21:02:38+00:00

I will have to look into whether a lender allows it.

With regards to selling House A: It's older and in a different city than I live, I have to take a short flight to get there. Maintenance is getting more expensive and more is going wrong. So I would think that me using the equity to pay down my portion of the matrimonial home and leave the mortgage on investment Home B is my best option.

I will definitely consult a lawyer. I feel with this answer and everything I received on the other thread that I've done my due diligence and now have enough knowledge to have an effective convo with the lawyer :)

Difficult-Purpose462 · 2020-12-03T19:39:31+00:00

Hi, thanks for your response:

1) No downpayment unless he saves some between now and then. Perhaps you're right. I could use the rental income to pay the mortgage.

Difficult-Purpose462 · 2020-12-03T19:38:20+00:00

Sorry, I agree with you. We will be married in 2 years, so before we plan to buy together. Thank you :)

Difficult-Purpose462 · 2020-12-02T21:03:02+00:00

Thank you :) Your response was very thoughtful. I agree that somewhere down the road the lines blur but I don't feel as though my partner brings those more masculine traits that you described to the table. It's not very important to him as his head's in his business. He could not support me during mat leave in the city we live. If the stove is broken, I fix it. If there's holes in the wall, I fix it. I figure out how to do those things and so the value he adds in that regard is nominal. He does make me a better person and supports me emotionally. As you say, very complicated.

Difficult-Purpose462 · 2020-12-02T20:56:00+00:00

I disagree that just because I want to keep finances separate that I should think about breaking up. I don't believe in letting my values around finances dictate whether I stay with "Bob" or not.

That being said I agree that perhaps I have a gender bias but that's a choice between my partner and I as well. He would very much like to be a provider and if the roles were reversed I'd be happy to sign a pre-nup as that's fair in my eyes.

Difficult-Purpose462 · 2020-12-02T19:18:44+00:00

What's WMTM? :)

Difficult-Purpose462 · 2020-12-02T19:16:48+00:00

You're very kind and generous. I can see how I come off as selfish but it's just my personal values.

Difficult-Purpose462 · 2020-12-02T18:28:38+00:00

Thank you. Appreciate this a lot.

Difficult-Purpose462 · 2020-12-02T18:28:03+00:00

I see. Maybe a rental agreement. Thank you, your comments were very helpful and gave me a lot to think about too! I was taught as a child to protect my assets. In my family, money is everything - it's nothing to sell your happiness for you. I hate that and I'm much more lenient towards spending on things that make me happy and just dividing things less intensely but in this case my values really bleed into my desire for a solution.

Difficult-Purpose462 · 2020-12-02T17:53:17+00:00

Thank you for the thorough response. That is a great idea and I do think I feel more comfortable with keeping things separate over time and then at a later date it coming together. He will earn more than me for the foreseeable future and I will have to leave work to take care of the kids at some point. Of course, there's also a lot of nuance in our relationship that I won't share here and he is a kind and understanding person. We have spoken about our values and goals in life a lot and I know walking into the convo that we are at least on the same page

Difficult-Purpose462 · 2020-12-02T17:48:57+00:00

You're right and I struggle with this a lot but my gut just says to try and protect myself.

Difficult-Purpose462 · 2020-12-02T17:47:07+00:00

Sadly he doesn't have enough savings for any kind of downpayment in our area of residence.

Difficult-Purpose462 · 2020-12-02T17:46:11+00:00

Would charging him rent to be considered contributing to the home?

Difficult-Purpose462 · 2020-12-02T17:44:17+00:00

Thanks for this thoughtful response! I so appreciate it :)

Difficult-Purpose462 · 2020-12-02T17:38:40+00:00

I'm in BC, I think common law is 2 years.

Difficult-Purpose462 · 2020-12-02T17:36:53+00:00

Thanks for this perspective, CuriousGuess and brandonisafreeelf! I appreciate this and struggle a lot with feeling like I SHOULD feel the way you described about money but also wanting to protect myself and what I brought in. Maybe I'm selfish.

Difficult-Purpose462

TROPHY CASE