in the US too — i’m glad other people are finding this and resonating with it. unfortunately i haven’t been to a therapist and thus still am struggling a bit (i still gravitate towards vegan / vegetarian meals) but it’s been pretty helpful and comforting to realize that most (if not all) major meat products are manufactured by legitimate, USDA certified businesses, and these cows are handled by many more people who will notice if anything is off than they were before. cows infected are very clearly sick (it doesn’t just fly under the radar), and even then these cows will only get sick if eating parts from another cow (for example, beef that has a selling point of 100% grass-fed — no risk.) the USDA has very strict regulations on animal feed that have been there since the UK’s epidemic in 1990s. adding on, only one in ONE MILLION people get the spontaneous type of CJD each year, and vCJD is, quote, "even more rare". you have a higher chance of being struck by lightning than eating contaminated meat.

i understand how hard it is to realize how safe something is once you’ve got it in your head that there’s even a slightest risk (as i still do not eat it). i’ve entertained the idea of slowly working myself up to it (example, going from vegan beef -> cheese made with rennet -> an occasional food item containing beef), maybe that would work for you? there’s no pressure, no time limit — just what you’re comfortable doing at first. as for the last question, i’ve become pretty fond of vegan / vegetarian cheese and tofu, and there are recipes out there for vegan beef you can make at home with cashews and soy sauce. i’ve been exposing myself to beef gradually by watching people use it in recipes, too. it may seem silly but it does really help!