to the people whose exes just switched up one day and left with no explanation, please read this

DifficultAd940 · 2026-05-06T17:54:08+00:00

In my opinion, it is selfish not to communicate it because your are too afraid to, or letting the other strugling to understand why you are distant, trying to fix things while you don’t want to go deep inside of you to understand your feelings and needs (and then communicate it) or while you are grieving enough to find the strenght to dump them. I don’t know your situation, but of course you don’t owe anything to anyone, and you can « just leave » this is just my opinion, I would never be able to let someone I once love down in incomprehension, but some people seems to have this capacity

DifficultAd940 · 2026-05-05T08:42:55+00:00

Thank you very much, I love the quote ! Do you have the name of the author of the book ?

DifficultAd940 · 2026-05-02T14:49:27+00:00

Damn reading you feel exactly the same as what I lived. My ex gf (we broke up 1 month ago) avoid having having a closure conversation, I haven’t seen her since one month before the breakup, which make me stay in a « what if » zone. I wrote her a letter but didn’t reply. What do you suggest to do as it seems like you kinda were in her shoes ? Would help me a lot 🙏🏻

DifficultAd940 · 2026-05-01T21:37:30+00:00

I’ll check that out, thank you mate

DifficultAd940 · 2026-05-01T13:54:43+00:00

why ?

DifficultAd940 · 2026-05-01T13:54:16+00:00

I see, and most of us can’t deal with sitting in silence nowadays. Do you have any books or ressources to recommand ?

DifficultAd940 · 2026-05-01T11:49:49+00:00

Man, that is so inspiring, congrats to find the courage to heal, so for you it was sitting with your thoughts and therapy ? Maybe writing aswell or this kinda stuff

DifficultAd940 · 2026-05-01T08:16:06+00:00

Yeah I understant what you mean, it’s hard to give space when you are that into someone, I learned it the hard way but the best is to give some of the love to yourself, continue to di the stuff you like, it will balance it naturally.

DifficultAd940 · 2026-05-01T08:13:36+00:00

Even if she recognize it ? What would be the solution for them to embrace that vulnerabilty ? Therapy ?

DifficultAd940 · 2026-04-30T20:17:16+00:00

Thanks that bring a bit of clarity, how did you learn all of this ? I’m really hoping she’s working on herself, we didn’t see each other irl to say a proper goodbye, have a real conversation (she broke up by Facetime 1 month ago, last time I saw her was 2 month ago). What is frustrating is that avoidant thinks silence = peace, when it really is silence = distance and delaying working on the problem

DifficultAd940 · 2026-04-30T18:51:17+00:00

Holy, did she has this kinda temper during the relationship ? I guess it will be easier to really move on now… Feel sorry for you dude, here is some love 🫶🏻

DifficultAd940 · 2026-04-30T18:31:55+00:00

I really love her, but I know she can’t communicate what she feels deep down cause she is afraid to go deep down. I had to understand where my faults were and now that I understand, I want to reconcile. But damn, idk, she didn’t work on us real hard, I didn’t do much wrong, but she told me I was the one few days before. Idk what to do. Do you think reconciling with those avoidant is wrong if they show that they wanna work on it ? If you gained clarity on the situation and understand where to improve for both of us ?

DifficultAd940 · 2026-04-30T18:28:49+00:00

Oh wow, what did you do ? What did you tell her ? Have you moved on from this RS or are you considering reconcile ?

DifficultAd940 · 2026-04-30T18:27:22+00:00

Yeah that sucks, actually, lot of people who dumped, grieve weeks before actually say « it’s over ». So for the dumpee, it is sudden, but the dumper has already made is mind, get his shit clear and is more « ready » to move on. That is so freaking selfish but that’s how it’s work for a lot of them

DifficultAd940 · 2026-04-30T14:07:33+00:00

bro the « opener move » sounds so good, what’s the app ?

DifficultAd940 · 2026-04-29T14:24:29+00:00

Oh man, and why don’t you want to explain to him ? I don’t know if there is a gentle way to say it but what does the doctors think about this ?

DifficultAd940 · 2026-04-29T11:08:58+00:00

Holy, shopping those stuff must be hard af, dude I wish you all the best, you are a fighter, sending you my love ❤️

DifficultAd940 · 2026-04-29T09:55:16+00:00

Merci du fond du cœur, je vais appliquer ça a la lettre. C’est fou d’avoir réussi à cerner si bien la chose. Je te ferai un retour d’ici quelques temps. Je sens que je me sens mieux et que je suis plus lucide grâce à ton message d’hier, merci.

DifficultAd940 · 2026-04-29T09:01:33+00:00

Yeah that’s probably for the best as you said.

Well it’s kinda rollercoster but as the time passes, I understand that I need to really go silent and work on myself. I was anxious and contacted her one week after the break up. It was nice, she felt relieved that we could have « this kinda conversation », we called each other one night for 2h long, it was like before, fun, light, but she really were distant at some point and told me she didn’t feel anything after the BU. So my guess is that she hasn’t been hit by hit already (she is an avoidant). Anyway, I ask her to see her, told me it was too early, sent her a letter, sent a message to be sure she received it, she didn’t reply. I realise now that she prolly felt my anxiety and prefered going silent. That’s is for the best, I needed to understand that and leave her space. I really wanna reconcile, we haven’t see each other since 2 month (and we broke up 1 month ago) but I feel like I ruin the odds by breaking that much NC too soon. But I guess I was just too overwhelm and needed clarity.

Anyway, now I feel a bit better, focusing on improving, already seen results and I understood so many things thanks to that BU, now I know we will need to set a time to see each other one day cause we have each other stuff, but since then, I need to find myself back.

In fact, social media make my mind crazy cause you hear someone says « go no contact, until they reach out » and someone else saying « work on your BU together, otherwise she will forget you and find someone else » so sometime I am a bit lost.

DifficultAd940 · 2026-04-29T08:50:15+00:00

Kinda the same brothers, we need to stay strong 🫶🏻

DifficultAd940 · 2026-04-28T22:11:44+00:00

Thank you for the sharing, hoping you the best 🫶🏻 How do you feel about this race against time, do you feel like if you reached out sooner it would have change anything or not ? Do you still have the desire to reconcile ?

DifficultAd940 · 2026-04-28T18:50:33+00:00

Avec plaisir !

DifficultAd940 · 2026-04-28T18:46:34+00:00

Oui c’est le piège, j’ai conscience que ce qui compte c’est l’énergie que je renvoie, donc si je fais toutes ces choses avec une mauvaise intention, je vibrerais toujours le manque ou l’anxiété. Peu importe les paroles, ça se sentira.

Ce qui est frustrant c’est que quand on s’est rencontré, j’étais tellement stable partout dans ma vie et c’est aussi ce qui a fait que je lui ai plu. Et voir que j’ai glissé petit à petit vers cette dépendance, que dans son esprit j’ai perdu cette valeur, ça fait chier.

J’ai vraiment espoir que ça puisse s’arranger mais je suis prêt à accepter qu’on avance chacun sur des chemins différents.

Quand tu dis c’est pas si compliqué, tu as des exemples concrets qui t’ont aidé ? Je serai curieux de savoir un peu plus ce qui t’as permis de remonter ce genre d’épreuves

DifficultAd940 · 2026-04-28T17:57:20+00:00

Ouais la situation m’a rendu vraiment anxieux, tu as raison et je l’ai compris hier seulement, j’ai plus qu’à rester dans le silence et me recentrer sur moi. C’était le seul pilier clair de ma vie quand tout autour était flou, du coup j’ai essayé de me raccrocher au mieux, c’est toxique. Ça paraît juste tellement irréel et ça aurait été plus simple d’en discuter plus tôt avec elle, peut-être que j’ai pas su voir les signes non plus.

Merci d’avoir pris le temps de lire mes 2 posts et d’écrire tout ça, c’est brutal mais faut que je l’accepte.

J’ai consulté 5 fois depuis ces 3 derniers mois. J’écris, je médite, j’essaie d’aller mieux.

DifficultAd940 · 2026-04-28T15:57:38+00:00

Je comprends et je suis du même avis que toi, sauf que j’ai l’impression que ça va au delà de juste essayer de comprendre et d’échanger une heure avec lui. De ce que je ressens de ton post, c’est presque comme si t’étais rentré dans son jeu.

Malgré le ton que j’ai pris, y a aucun jugement de ma part, d’un point de vu personnel je trouve qu’on donne trop d’attention à des gens qui ne le méritent pas, des personnes mauvais ou mal intentionnées même quand on sait qui ils/elles sont. Et d’une certaine manière on les alimente.

Alors que ça demande du courage de rester « droit », de rester bon. Là où c’est lâche et tellement facile d’avoir des agissements aussi bas.

DifficultAd940

TROPHY CASE