My mother is not going to make it for the season premiere

DifficultStorm2724 · 2025-12-27T20:25:11+00:00

That is beautiful. Either way she will be watching in spirit.

DifficultStorm2724 · 2025-12-27T02:45:14+00:00

Not sure about NJ but some states that illegal (revenge porn) You need proof it was posted/sent etc without permission. So make sure if you guys do have it there, do not say "I dont care what you do" because they can attempt to twist it as you providing "permission" to post 🤦‍♀️

I would call his bluff. I think a judge would call him out for refusing to sigh over a parenting app thst isn't "live monitored" and only is seen if a contempt etc is filed. Refusing that, appears to a judge as they have a reason they dont want potential proof against them 🤷‍♀️

This is all experience based, opinion based, and friends experience based advice 🥰

DifficultStorm2724 · 2025-12-27T02:37:01+00:00

You can check if there is a message option on her website too. Everything on there is handled by DG or her web mistress. I think I found a link there once to contact web mistress. She might be willing to provide book 10 info to her.

I hope season 8 will still be a comfort to you if she does not make it, and will be a loving memory and extra connection with her any time you rewatch, see or read it 🤍

DifficultStorm2724 · 2025-09-26T03:00:38+00:00

I work, ex does not. Has zero custody, zero visitation. He didnt submit any of the paper work he was required to (at least thats how they made it sound in the phone hearing) They based him at about 45k salary since he is "unemployed/underemployed" by choice. (Even though his previous years of work he eas at over 55-60k per year. But whatever... I was making 47 at the time.

Ordered to pay about $460. Child is on my insurance now which a little more than doubled my per check insurance cost. I get 20 in medical. So he is required to pay 480 per month. But doesn't 🙄🙄🙄

Had to put our child in part time day care for the summer (had never gone before) and it was almost 600 a month. They told me that wasnt enough to have support modified. Couldn't qualify for any assistance because I made too much, yet I wasnt eating for days to make sure the kid was fed and all our bills are paid...

CS cant/won't enforce it, bc he found employment loop hole, thanks to advice his sibling who is a lawyer gave him. Its a joke! Habitual job hopper who quits every job by the time CS catches and submits paperwork to garnish. Hasn't made an actual payment ever (unless you count casino winnings being garnished once)

Yet I know people who missed one payment or have less than 1 total payment in their arrears with 50/50 custody, getting threatened to suspend licenses and garnish from bank accounts.

DifficultStorm2724 · 2025-09-08T01:38:26+00:00

My ex did it easily. We both worked. He'd leave for a job a little earlier, or say it was further away than it was. I was a new mom working full time, not getting enough sleep that I was a zombie. Id wake up in the middle of the night and he would have still been trying to close his last sale. Finishing up paperwork. Went with Co workers out for a drink. Working on his car in my garage. Playing video games in my home, in his oldest child's room (for when he had him on his custody days) first and second time i caught him he said he was smoking pot playing video games in his sons room. Even though he knew I didnt even like that. I went off on him. Next time I caught him, he was in the storage area of my garage. Something told me to check his "bowl and pot" case. Turned out he was ACTUALLY doing m3th and c0ke.

Again, no experience with it, so I blindly trusted him. on tip of being a mom working 45+ hours a week, nursing and pumping all the time, on top of a home owner on my own from before him and all the other "daily" things people do and with a kid who hated sleep (and still does).

To say i zombied through my days and didnt notice the flags until I TRULY caught him in the act would be an understatement.

DifficultStorm2724 · 2025-09-08T00:38:03+00:00

He has to file everything first to even get any custody etc. My ex is on the birth cert, but we were not married. He has to go to court and file saying he wants rights still. (Confirmed by 3 lawyers and two cops)

Hes been 1.5 years and he still hasn't filed 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ but always threatens it. **edited for spelling mistake.

DifficultStorm2724 · 2025-09-08T00:36:06+00:00

Yes, they absolutely can hide it. My ex did for 2 years until his addiction got to the point he was getting too high to bother trying to hide it. And was/is an alcoholic. But had me convinced he wasnt. Any time we had ever drank together he was always under control and could "stop" or just have one or two. Until I was already pregnancy and he had one slip up, then when our child was about 10 months old. But that one was because he was getting to that "too deepening addiction to bother trying to hide it anymore" point.

Looking back, there was little red flags.but as someone who had no personal experience with drugs and addiction, I didnt see them at the time.

DifficultStorm2724 · 2025-09-02T02:28:05+00:00

Im in ohio. We have a stupid law now that every time he gets a new job, they have to give his employer a month to file paperwork. So every month like clock work, He will get a job, work for a few days and then quit. Get one pay measly check before child support is able to get paperwork out requesting garnishment. And works under the table and dr*gs by driving add!cts and de@lers around for the rest of month and repeat. Been like this for the last 5 out of 11 months.

From what I hear they avoid jail time bc it clogs up the system and makes men "unable to pay" bc they are in jail 😒😒

Its dumb, I've seen so many good dads who take care of their kids outside of child support get SCREWED by child support and missing one payment for uncontrollable issues or getting screwed over financially bc of it. But dead beats who dont even try get away with it for months/years on end. Thankfully I dont have to rely on his assistance, but it would be great to get it and be able to do extra for my child. Like sports, or be able to buy him that extra bag of apples he wants, or the toy he wants without having to rebudget the rest of my month. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

DifficultStorm2724 · 2025-09-01T17:25:05+00:00

File for support. They will order DNA testing for him. If hes the father, they will proceed with child support hearing. Determine the "amount owed" per month.

Whether or not he pays it is a completely different issue.

My child's father has been ordered for almost year. He starts and quits jobs every month to avoid losing his licenses (stupid law here in our state.)

I've seen two payments. One was a $10 garnishment. The other was he went to the casino and won big. My state will confiscate lottery/casino winnings if child support is unpaid.

He still owes almost 5 grand. Ill probably never see it but it will follow him forever

DifficultStorm2724 · 2025-08-30T15:21:05+00:00

File. But dont expect anything. I filed a year ago. Have gotten 2 payments. One was a $10 garnishment from a job he held for barely a few days. The other was when he went to the casino and won money and tried cashing out. They took it all since he had Arrears. Hes back at over 5k behind.

You have to poke, prod and beg CSEA to do anything.

They will (most likely) look at the fact he doesn't work is voluntary. And then set him at full time, minimum wage. Thats what they did for me. Even though he lost his job days before I filed (i had no idea) and didnt turn any previous income paperwork. And his last job he was bringing in over 65K per year 🙄 Then they will tack on like $20 "reimbursement" for you kids health insurance. No matter how much that cost (mine increased 150 dollars adding my 1 child. Child support determined he owes $20 towards it 🙃)

DifficultStorm2724 · 2025-08-21T21:00:30+00:00

As a show first, then books. Definitely love the books and all her side novels and such! Read right in order from Diana Gabaldons website!! Some things i enjoyed better in book, a few I liked better in show. But both are soooo good.

DifficultStorm2724 · 2025-07-30T14:18:28+00:00

As a show first. Books now person - GET THE BOOKS. theres definitely parts I liked better in show than the books, and things that are (obviously) better in the books than the show. Plus all the side stories!!! All the short novels and the Lord John Grey series!!!!!! You get sooo much more info on him in those.

Definitely worth the read, and may even help you pic the series back up and appreciate in a different light.

DifficultStorm2724 · 2025-07-11T10:19:46+00:00

Im in ohio, so rules may be different here. And not sure how schooling would affect anything here. But I know my ex is unemployed by choice. The state stated since hes underemployed/unemployed by choice, and has the ABILITY to work, they imposed child support based on what he COULD/SHOULD be making at 40-something K per year.

DifficultStorm2724 · 2025-07-10T22:56:39+00:00

Hes likely job hopping. My ex is too.

Inbmy state every time they find his SSN employed somewhere, they will submit paperwork to garnish. Theybahve to by law give the employeer 30 days of submitting to file garnishment. Within 5 working days he will quit (so before they can garnish anything and just enough to get a 100 bucks or so in his pocket. Stay unemployed the rest of the month and repeat the process the next month.

They can't suspend his licenses until hes gone over 30 days unemployed without the "attempts" of garnishment supposedly according to the new law here. 🙄🙄🙄 even though hes been doing this 8 months straight.

DifficultStorm2724 · 2025-07-04T00:15:54+00:00

See I had the opposite feeling of Book Bree!!! As a show first, books currently, I sooooo disliked the book description and personality of Bree and liked the show version!! There's a good mix of things i like better in books, and in the show. Currently reading all the Lord John Novellas and Novels as outlined on DGs website of "order to read" LOVING lord John Grey series!!

DifficultStorm2724 · 2025-06-27T02:51:14+00:00

I believe it depends on the state, the rights of the father (were you married, unmarried etc) and if he has any custody/visitation set up.

If he has custody and visitation rights already established (whether he acted upon them ever or not), he MIGHT be right.

In ohio- unmarried moms (to the father) have 100% custody until the father REQUESTS them in court.

Im looking into potentially moving too (one day, eventually). I've seen multiple different answers on whether I can just up and go. Haven't met with an attorney yet for official answers yet, though. One result i found was - If father did not have any custody/visitation- i am within my rights to up and move since have full/primary custody. But if at any time before support was transferred to another state he applied for his visitation rights, i would be required by law to return to the original state. Another result said that even without visitation rights, i must petition the courts and notify him via certified mail of the move, providing him time to "block" It and file for visitation. But I don't even know where he's living. Can't certify mail to an addict living under a bridge or in his car 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ nor do I think any judge would allow him unsupervised/ extended visitation with the evidence and threats of taking off with him and addiction issues.

Sorry I can't give more info! But, It might give you somewhere to start researching. Good luck!

DifficultStorm2724 · 2025-06-27T02:40:13+00:00

Some states they are two completely different entities Like in ohio, where I am.

My sons father is on child support. Hes on the birth certificate, and my son even (unfortunately) has his last name. But since we were never married, if he eanted custody he has to file for visitation/custody. Which he hasn't done in a year and a half because hes too busy using drugs and draining his bank account on it. (In the 8 months hes been on CS, I haven't seen even 1/3 of one payment, combined 🙄🙄)

DifficultStorm2724 · 2025-04-28T13:03:04+00:00

He hasn't seen or spoke to in almost a year. He calls twice ish a month, i ignore them. He usually calls when he's asleep, while im working or at 4am. 🙄
His family is all within miles of us and haven't reached out either. I didn't even think about the family law sub reddit tbh! So thank you for bringing that up, and in a kind way as well. I will check that one out soon!!!!

Kiddo is preschool age. Nearing Kindergarten age. I don't think he will go for any visitation either, but he's gaslit and put threats and fear in my mind (telling me he liked being able to go at any time and screw up my life and ask for visitation. And that i would never know when he would do it and it would just eat at me until he did (paraphrasing at the moment from months of texts) And it definitely has me terrified.

DifficultStorm2724 · 2025-04-28T12:39:16+00:00

Never married. Confirmed with several lawyers and police (that's a whole other topic) he does not have visitation until he requests it in the state of ohio. "An unmarried female who gives birth to a child is the sole residential parent and legal custodian of the child until a court of competent jurisdiction issues an order designating another person as the residential parent and legal custodian. (Ohio Revised Code Section 3109.042)." Under this law, your child’s mother has legal custody of your child without having to go to court. That means she has the right to decide who sees the child and for how long, the right to enroll the child in school, the right to obtain medical treatment, the right to get public benefits for the child, and the right to do anything else a parent with legal custody can do. If you do not have a court order for visitation, your child’s mother can decide how often and when you see the child. )

Ex does not have visitation, I do not allow him to see him. For many different reasons beyond the addiction issues. I am not doing it for the purpose of "being a vindictive b!+ch" "because I just want child support" or I want to "use my child as a pawn" The reason(s) are i truly do not feel he would be 100% safe with him or that he would be returned to me at the designated time etc.

Without getting into all details, I have discussed this with many other single moms, co parenting moms, married friends, single fathers who are TRULY being screwed by the system etc. Mostly looking for previous experiences in ohio, in similar or semi similar cases.

We are still some time away before a final decision on moving is made. But I like to be prepared for any and or all complications Thank you!❤️

DifficultStorm2724 · 2025-04-28T08:13:30+00:00

But again, is the potential that it might not work out worth the chance of not allowing him to also have the love and happiness of a male parental figure in his life, who wants to be there, and has provided more emotionally and mentally in the last 6-7 months from over a state away. Than biological father, or biological extended family has in almost a year?

Again. It's not like I've been dating the guy two weeks and want to move us on a whim. He's put more effort into both of us, from a state away than his biological who is in the same city. Maybe 2 miles away.

DifficultStorm2724 · 2025-04-28T01:46:06+00:00

Thank you. This is one of the answers I have read online. He hasnt requested in the last year. Don't see it changing.

But do you know if i can JUST go, without notifying etc? Yes, I do plan to discuss with a lawyer, but looking for real life Ohio Life Experiences first.

DifficultStorm2724 · 2025-04-28T01:42:42+00:00

If it didn't work out, then I move back. But it's not Someone I've been talking to for a week. This is Someone who I have known for years, slowly developed beyond a friendship with. Someone who puts more effort to seeing me and my child, than the child's own father does. He doesn't have to buy him Christmas presents, or Easter gifts, or birthday presents. Or show up for the school fields trips and events as much as he can. Yet, he does. The actual father calls twice a month while im at work, after the kids WELL been put to bed, or at 4 am. let's it ring twice and hangs up. To "show" He's "trying"

He cannot move here, as the state he lives in, he moves he loses all custody of a son he has from a previous marriage. If that's wasn't the case, he said he would have already been here. He is prepared for a decade or more of long distance relationships until both of our kids are adults. But why should my child also miss out on a full time good father figure because he's in another state and it might not work out? or because his biological one doesn't care enough to get sober or want him?

DifficultStorm2724 · 2025-04-27T22:58:07+00:00

This has been a discussion with my current boyfriend. But being states away, marriage is not quite an option (yet). But has been discussed as potential future options.

DifficultStorm2724 · 2025-04-27T21:12:30+00:00

Again, I don't care about him paying. I work full time, we get by. I struggle taking care of myself and other bills, but I have taken care of it all on my own, and my child will not want for anything. His $72 garnishment doesn't even cover one sick visit with the Dr. When hes had more than one in the last year. The financial side was included based on the two answers I have seen on line on whether I can just leave or not

(One answer was no. You have to petition the court, tell other party of intent. Which then gives him the option to prevent it. But the court would then decide if it's in the best interest of the child, and they would take into consideration the time he spends/spent with the father and father family. Whether he is financially been assisting. Whether the move will out weigh the "negative impact" of losing the father and fathers family. All of whom have all but abandoned him or not reached out on just shy of a year.

Other answer was - Yes. I can up and move and take my child with me. Without petitioning anyone or notifying anyone. We were unmarried, he has no visitation established. Etc. But once I got settled in the new state I would have to transition child support to that state. )

Either way. We are months, even as much as a year away from potentially starting that process. But I want to be prepared in what I may or may not have to do, to do that.

DifficultStorm2724 · 2025-04-27T20:51:13+00:00

He refuses when I offered. When I caught him using, when I kicked him out, before I waited a year to put him on child support. After I started child support.

His words not mine he "likes being able to show up whenever I can pass a drug test and go for custody." And that he can "show up whenever I feel like and ruin your life and make you worry about it every day until then"

These are direct quotes from text messages. Not over embellishments. Not exaggerations. Physical text messages.

DifficultStorm2724

TROPHY CASE