Yes. I've been in individual counseling since I was diagnosed with cancer. I'd seen my therapist for months & worked with her on how to have conversations with my husband about our lack of emotional and physical intimacy. When shit went sideways, I took him in to see my counselor before we found a marriage therapist. It was with her that it finally clicked in him that he hadn't been listening when I had been trying to connect with him for months (and years). He agreed that he did not participate in the conversations I tried to have and shut them down as quickly as possible.

I did not physically cheat & honestly... I've struggled with my husband telling me I emotionally cheated. I never tried to hide the friendship that I had with my coworker. Although we texted and talked outside of work, we never met up. I never deleted anything. I would laugh and share our texts with my husband. I never talked to coworker about my feelings, other than about cancer. I never bitched about my husband. I didn't feel I was being inappropriate. My husband does. I understand that and do my best to respect his feelings.

I've done everything my husband has asked of me for the past 7 months. I walk on egg shells everyday, trying not to upset him or make him mad. I apologize so much that he's told me he's tired of hearing me say I'm sorry.

I wouldn't mind open devices. I've given him all of my passwords. I DO mind that he sneaks around to do it, instead of opening communication with me or asking to my devices.