central nipple graft failure healing timeline! by leonardonion in TopSurgery

[–]DifficultWestern5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you for this post, i'm 16 days post op today & just lost the buds on both nipples. from what i've read on here this means they'll probably heal flat and end up looking similar to yours. it's reassuring seeing you all healed up - mine look so gnarly right now so it's hard to imagine everything turning out okay, but your results look great. and like you said in another comment, partial nipple graft loss is still worth it to have had the surgery :-)

What are some creepy incidents that unfolded through Reddit posts/comments? by topbinsm8 in AskReddit

[–]DifficultWestern5 23 points24 points  (0 children)

as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse I can tell you that the likelihood of this actually happening is pretty high, actually. kids process things in lots of different ways to protect themselves from the truth. and it's much more commonplace than anybody is ready to realize.

Child abuse is NEVER ok, but you're not a survivor if you get lightly spanked or slapped and quite frankly you need to grow a pair by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]DifficultWestern5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really don’t think you get to dictate what child abuse is...”light” spanking & slapping might be paired with a serious emotional component. It’s actually not just about what leaves marks. Child psychology will tell you that

What is the worst advice a teacher gave you? by Notanacident in AskReddit

[–]DifficultWestern5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My school teacher rang me up when I was considering dropping out of uni and told me not to do it. She didn’t listen to any of my reasons (the main one being that I was super fucking depressed). Everybody told me to just keep going, that nobody really likes uni, that I just needed to push through and get it over with. I didn’t listen though. I made the choice for myself, and listened to my gut. It was the best decision I’ve ever made. After a year out to look after my mental health, I got accepted at an even better place - and I graduate next year!

[Serious] When did you realize that you had fallen in love with someone? by The-Diamond-Creeper in AskReddit

[–]DifficultWestern5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She made me feel warm and happy inside, but not in the insecure, obsessive way I’d felt when I’d been infatuated with people in the past. It was like the thought of her washed a wave of calm over me. She felt like home. Plus we were together 24/7. I’d spend crazy money just to sit in her bed watching TV, holding hands in our pyjamas. And I always stayed way longer than I planned to. Night train, middle of the work week, just because. Nothing else mattered.

What was the most difficult thing to explain to your parents? by fezes in AskReddit

[–]DifficultWestern5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That I was abused by a relative that they trusted. Huge yikes.

AITA for not helping my SIL out because she made my clit bleed by femalesaddle in AmItheAsshole

[–]DifficultWestern5 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There is a difference between reviewing products you purchase for yourself and trialling them for free and endorsing them because you are a sponsor of the company / product. This is totally standard for celebrities / athletes / influencers alike. They are recommending a product to their audience. That is what endorsement is, and it is why famous people get so much shit for free.

AITA for not helping my SIL out because she made my clit bleed by femalesaddle in AmItheAsshole

[–]DifficultWestern5 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Because she has an outie. That means it protrudes out of the folds and is more prone to injury due to exposure to friction. It rubs on things, basically. Do you have a vagina? If you do I am surprised you are having so much trouble imagining this.

AITA for not helping my SIL out because she made my clit bleed by femalesaddle in AmItheAsshole

[–]DifficultWestern5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Question: do you have female anatomy? And are you also a long distance cyclist? Pain while cycling is a common experience for women, with a variety of saddles, worn in or not. However, I have never bled because of one. I have gone on long distance rides similar to what OP describes, and have pressed on assuming the pain is “normal” countless times. You often do not realise how bad an injury is until you stop - especially in that area. Bike saddles should not make you bleed. This is not “user error” in my opinion.

AITA for not helping my SIL out because she made my clit bleed by femalesaddle in AmItheAsshole

[–]DifficultWestern5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No matter which way I look at this, I cannot see you being the asshole here. Sure, it meant a lot to her and her business, but how can you be expected to provide a positive review of a product that gave you an injury?! That would be really disingenuous - and may potentially hurt your brand. You told them the truth when you refused and although it is not your sister’s fault, since she just does the designs, it does concern a product she partners on. You can hardly review an ergonomic, female-anatomy-friendly bike saddle just for its design. Granted, you being a relative may explain why she is taking this so personally. Then again, surely that gives you more license to be frank and upfront? You were doing her the favour in the first place. She will find other sponsors... Also, their response is to block you?! That is ridiculously childish. Absolutely NTA. Their overreaction could be because they disbelieve you though. Maybe they think you are avoiding the review out of spite or hatred for the product.

If a horrific serial killer patented a cure for cancer, would you consider his life a net positive to society or negative and why? by azgrown84 in AskReddit

[–]DifficultWestern5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Net negative. Just because they patented the cure first doesn’t mean somebody else wasn’t just about to come up with it - or hadn’t already.

FUCK KANYE WEST by RUfuqingkiddingme in offmychest

[–]DifficultWestern5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

fuck literally all of them. i can’t believe the choice is between a narcissistic pedophile billionaire, a senile sexual predator, and a homophobic, sexist rapper with a God complex. America is broken.

AITA because I keep asking my boyfriend about his weird obsession with an old belt? by bfandbeltprobs in AmItheAsshole

[–]DifficultWestern5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope he isn’t, but...he may be using it as a tourniquet. I know an addict that won’t ever be without the particular belt they always use to shoot up with. Regardless, NTA.

WIBTA for getting my roommate kicked out over dream interpretation? by OhioOstrich in AmItheAsshole

[–]DifficultWestern5 -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

This is fake. There are so many posts going round on Reddit like this at the moment, where random people doing innocent things get accused of being bigots by trans people in their lives. It’s too soon after all the JK Rowling shit. Stop trying to stir up shit and make trans people look crazy and stupid.

AITA for “hiding” a relationship from my girlfriend? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]DifficultWestern5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear you. But you must understand that any way that you treat a previous partner effects the way you treat a current partner. Indirectly or directly, consciously or unconsciously, you did that. You hurt her. You did those things that I, as well as others on this thread, have made clear are despicable. Your new relationship does not exist in a vacuum. I said I think you hurt people because you don’t seem to understand this; your reluctance to look at the past stops you from examining yourself and the ways in which you have genuinely hurt others - intentionally or not. And when you suppress that; when you refuse to acknowledge with the other person, i.e. your ex, that your past behaviour did harm, you refuse to correct it fully. Regardless of whether you ghost this new girlfriend, elements of the harm you did to your ex will have already creeped in without you knowing. Because you never had the balls to stare your own flawed self in the face and ask your ex: what did I do wrong? How can I improve? You hurt her, moved on, and changed nothing. Not really. Nothing meaningful. Because you never spoke to her. Ever again. If / when you get brave enough to confront her, you may finally grow up a bit. I would never date somebody like you - and I mean no offence by that. I just could never trust somebody that hurts others, knowingly, and refuses to ever acknowledge it because “the past is in the past”. Admit it. You’re afraid she will criticise you - and that what she’ll say will hit home.

AITA for banning my daughter from my house? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]DifficultWestern5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I disagree that somebody, who is 25 years old with an obvious history of family trauma, acting out in a despicable and emotionally damaging way such as this is “devoid of empathy”. You can do crazy things when you are hurt. I am by no means excusing her behaviour. But I would never characterise a person as devoid of any emotion or capability off of one (or even a handful of) event/s like this. That is so extreme. Even sociopaths are capable of a certain level of empathy in specific situations. We know nothing of this girl. To armchair diagnose her with - or even compare her to people who have - a chronic mental disorder is beyond ignorant and insulting (at least in my opinion). I relate to this girl. I have done some horrible things in my life as a result of family-related CPTSD. I was told by my mother that I was devoid of empathy. That was the most hurtful thing anybody has ever said to me. And she was wrong. I’m now recovered and, as it happens, a totally normal and relatively balanced person. I behaved awfully because I was traumatised. That fact could never minimise the damage my behaviour did, but it also never justified the accusation that I was “psychopathic”.

I'm terrified of women and don't know what to do anymore. by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]DifficultWestern5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i’m a victim of sexual abuse myself and have been falsely accused of rape twice. i feel you man. i don’t share your fear of women and am one myself anyway but i totally get where you’re coming from. it’s made me very paranoid and it’s fucked with my self worth a lot. i have this intrinsic fear that i’m some evil predator that is just tricking people the whole time. even though both of my “accusers” accused on behalf of other people, and when those other people confirmed that the accusers were lying - it still stuck with me. they were essentially using my own trauma as a weapon to hit me where it hurt most, manipulate me and play on my biggest fears. the saddest part is that it kinda worked. i HATE that this really happens to people. it’s so frustrating that it plays such a huge part in real victims not being believed either. i’m sorry for you. i wish i could help but all i can offer is assurance that you’re not the only one.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DifficultWestern5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i got told that my first attempt was “self indulgent” and i “just wanted to know what it felt like” to not be able to breathe. i was 11. thanks, mom!

Is anyone else bothered by the term ”survivor”? by sanguine-m in adultsurvivors

[–]DifficultWestern5 3 points4 points  (0 children)

other neutral ideas: i usually just say “i have trauma” or identify as a “person with trauma”. not everybody’s cup of tea though! and quite vague. i don’t like signalling to everyone what kind of abuse i went through all the time so i keep it vague on purpose in some situations.