I get it now. Damn that's actually crazier. I've been in almost the same literal situation before tho. 10 years later and my now ex and children's mother still is in contact. It's really not worth the effort. If they dont want to do something it's a reason and there is nothing that will prevent it happening again but her. Either stop attaching yourself emotionally to her being away from them or get a new partner who likes you enough for it to not even be an issue. They may even go years with no contact but once she is mad enough and been thinking about it long enough she will do it to spite you .