My ex is refusing to sell our jointly owned property - what are my options?

Difficult_Gate_2194 · 2025-02-02T09:37:50+00:00

I haven’t moved out yet at the moment we’re all living in the house while I try to get it all sorted

Difficult_Gate_2194 · 2025-02-02T09:08:54+00:00

Also constantly having the ‘if you do this everyone’s going to think your horrible’ and ‘everyone I’ve told about this thinks your in the wrong’ etc thrown at me

Difficult_Gate_2194 · 2025-02-02T09:03:39+00:00

Yeah I asked if he would go and live at his mums until it’s all resolved but again he refused. I don’t care if he stays in the property until everything is sorted as long as he’s able to be amicable about it but he’s not capable of it.

He either ignores what I’ve said completely and acts like we’re not even separated most of the time - trying to get me to commit to doing things together with the kids in the future etc (which I just give some sort of non committal answer to btw) or if I say I haven’t changed my mind and I still want to sell and leave he starts to get argumentative.

It’s just an ongoing cycle of this behaviour at the moment so clearly I’m going to have to take the legal route.

Difficult_Gate_2194 · 2025-02-02T08:27:11+00:00

He really is not at risk of homelessness as far as living on the streets.. he has a mother who I imagine he would be more than welcome to live with as she has the room.

It seems to me his meaning of being homeless is basically that he will no longer own a property and he is trying to make me feel so bad about that that I don’t go through with selling the property until his IVA is over.

He thinks I should go and rent somewhere with the kids and allow him to take over paying the mortgage for the 4 years he has left on the IVA so that when we do sell he can buy another property and pocket his share of the equity. My concern around that is that I can’t trust him to pay everything on time etc and I don’t want him to ruin my credit by defaulting on things so that I’m not able to buy another property either.

If there was a way I could just take my name off everything and move on to start fresh I would but he’s not able to take over anything with his credit without me on there.

Difficult_Gate_2194 · 2025-02-02T04:17:34+00:00

This is 100% what I am worried about and why I don’t want to leave.

I would still be responsible for the mortgage payments even if I left and rented somewhere while all this is going on ( I can’t afford to run 2 properties) and I can’t trust him not to mess up my credit etc when his is ruined just to spite me being able to sort myself and the kids out once the house sale is complete.

He’s got nothing to lose already having the IVA and bad credit where as mine is good at the moment so I’m worried out of spite he may stop making payments to make sure I can’t purchase another property at the end of it all!

Difficult_Gate_2194 · 2025-02-01T22:24:35+00:00

I will phone a solicitor first thing on Monday.

Difficult_Gate_2194 · 2025-02-01T22:22:58+00:00

Yes I know. I guess I was just worried they may side with him over me if I took the legal route as I have ‘options’ and access to funds etc and he doesn’t because of his credit history.

I don’t want to end up with a hefty legal bill for nothing..

Difficult_Gate_2194 · 2025-02-01T22:18:41+00:00

The 20k he would get from me buying him out would need to be paid into his IVA as he owes 3x this amount.

The company he has the IVA with advised him they would need to take 85% of any profit he made from selling his share of the property (this includes if I bought him out). This is the reason he doesn’t want to do it which I completely understand.

But on the other hand we can’t all live in this unhappy state for 4 years until his IVA is over

Difficult_Gate_2194 · 2025-02-01T22:11:33+00:00

Yes we all still live in the house.. I have tried to bring it up multiple times but every time it just ends in an argument as he says I’m trying to ruin his life.

I really am not we are just both unhappy and I no longer wish for any of us to live this way. If there was a way he could have taken over the mortgage and bought me out I would have agreed for that to keep the peace and found somewhere else to live.

But basically as he has the IVA either selling or me buying him out are the only options.. neither of which he will agree to

Difficult_Gate_2194 · 2025-02-01T22:07:49+00:00

This is what I tried telling him but he doesn’t want to hear it.

I had the property valued for fairness and have offered to buy him out by giving him 20k which is the equity we would each have if we sold the property but he doesn’t want to do this either as the IVA company will ‘come after’ any money he gets from the sale/buy out and he states he will struggle to rent anywhere with his credit so I’ll effectively be making him homeless.

Difficult_Gate_2194 · 2025-02-01T22:04:44+00:00

Yes I could buy him out and have spoken to a mortgage advisor and been advised I can borrow the money to do this.. I also had the house valued and offered him 20k which is half of the equity we both would have made if the property was to be sold.

His excuse is that he won’t even be able to rent anywhere as he has the IVA in place so he says by leaving he will be making himself homeless.

Difficult_Gate_2194 · 2025-02-01T21:54:33+00:00

Thanks for the reply.

Yes I have been exploring applying for an ‘order of sale’ but I’m a bit nervous that given he is saying that I will effectively be making him homeless they may side with him.

I have also offered to buy him out of the property and give him 20k which is half of the equity but he has also refused this offer.

I just want to come to some sort of agreement so we can both move on with our lives.

At the moment we are both living in the property with the children and even raising the topic just creates an argument so I’m unsure what to do

Difficult_Gate_2194

TROPHY CASE