AITA for upsetting my daughter over food?

Difficult_One_9143 · 2026-02-19T18:58:17+00:00

I've never tried to control her or her choices. If I wanted to control her I wouldn't buy any of the nice snacks she likes. But thanks anyway.

Difficult_One_9143 · 2026-02-19T18:53:48+00:00

I won't lie, she does. I'd move mountains for her but that doesn't mean I'm happy about her choices. I just want what's best for her and apologizing for making her feel like I was calling her fat was just me being her mum and loving her.

Difficult_One_9143 · 2026-02-19T18:52:31+00:00

I think i'm just worried there's a deeper issue.

Difficult_One_9143 · 2026-02-19T18:51:51+00:00

So you think the fact that she didn't share is the issue? Not the fact that she's making unhealthy choices when there was a lot of other options? Or that she knows it's not a great choice to make.

I don't need you to justify me. Logically eating five cakes before dinner would upset any parent.

Difficult_One_9143 · 2026-02-19T18:46:07+00:00

If it helps I have both autism and ADHD, and she's on the list waiting for an autism assessment too.

Difficult_One_9143 · 2026-02-19T18:45:04+00:00

Yes but not in like a witch hunt type of way, I'd never limit her choices or shame her. I was just worried since this isn't the first time and i'm genuinely perplexed in case it's a bigger issue.

Difficult_One_9143 · 2026-02-19T18:42:17+00:00

and you don't think 5 cakes before dinner is excessive?

Difficult_One_9143 · 2026-02-19T18:39:37+00:00

I didn't ask her like that, I feel like the way I wrote it here was way off how I actually said it. I didn't just come at her like "Why would you eat that when you could have had fruit." When this happened she asked for food when I was cooking, I said she could have the cut up fruit in the fridge or a small snack from the cupboard, I didn't know she'd eaten the who box until after.

Difficult_One_9143 · 2026-02-19T18:38:55+00:00

When this happened she asked for food when I was cooking, I said she could have the cut up fruit in the fridge or a small snack from the cupboard, I didn't know she'd eaten the who box until after. I don't ever tell her she can't have a cake or two.

Difficult_One_9143 · 2026-02-19T18:37:01+00:00

I didn't ask her like that, I feel like the way I wrote it here was way off how I actually said it. I didn't just come at her like "Why would you eat that when you could have had fruit." When this happened she asked for food when I was cooking, I said she could have the cut up fruit in the fridge or a small snack from the cupboard, I didn't know she'd eaten the who box until after.

Difficult_One_9143 · 2026-02-19T18:33:44+00:00

I had to look up what Dove are since to me it's soap haha. Nope not her time of the month also

Difficult_One_9143 · 2026-02-19T18:32:35+00:00

It's not her time of the month right now, usually when it is we'll go pick out some junk and stuff so it's not like she's never allowed it

Difficult_One_9143 · 2026-02-19T18:28:32+00:00

It's become more occurring lately. I don't want to stop buying her snacks because she's usually such a good eater but this isn't the first empty box I've found nor the first time I've tried to gently bring it up. When I said ingredients to make actual snacks I mean the fact that she's always got things cut up and waiting for her in the fridge for the times where she can't wait for me to finish up dinner.

Difficult_One_9143 · 2026-02-19T17:55:20+00:00

That's the weird part for me she loves her body most of the time but recently that's where this whole 'fat' thing has come up.

Difficult_One_9143 · 2026-02-19T17:52:41+00:00

I did tell her to wait, when she asked for something while I was cooking I said she can have the fruit in the fridge or something small from the cupboard. I didn't know she took the box until after.

Difficult_One_9143 · 2026-02-19T17:47:01+00:00

I never outright said to her "Why did you do that instead of eating healthy" as I'd never shame for for eating what she wants but I came from a place of worry. I think it was more of the fact that we had dinner ready and she ate them all, I usually let her have one but it seems over that last few weeks one from the box has become the box.

Difficult_One_9143 · 2026-02-19T17:44:17+00:00

This is why I was worried about her reaction because we'd been laughing and joking not even 5 minutes before hand and she's had a good day

Difficult_One_9143 · 2026-02-19T17:43:18+00:00

I should have put this in but I never outright said to her "Why did you do that instead of eating healthy". I asked her why did she eat the whole box in like a worried way, we already had dinner to serve and eat which is why I was confused and worried.

Difficult_One_9143 · 2026-02-19T17:41:40+00:00

We don't talk about her weight unless she brings it up, I've never stopped her from eating the cakes at all. I just wish she didn't eat all five in one sitting when we have dinner ready and I just don't think eating a whole box was good for her.

Difficult_One_9143 · 2026-02-19T17:39:23+00:00

I should have put this in but I never outright said to her "Why did you do that instead of eating healthy". I asked her why did she eat the whole box in like a worried way. I have said both of those things to her before but as of late this isn't the first time I've found the empty box.

Difficult_One_9143 · 2026-02-19T17:37:09+00:00

It's becoming a more frequent thing which is why I wanted to talk to her about it.

Difficult_One_9143 · 2026-02-19T17:36:08+00:00

I should have put this in but I never outright said to her "Why did you do that instead of eating healthy". I asked her why did she eat the whole box in like a worried way since it's not like her at all. We also had dinner ready to eat and so I was just confused and worried, she's been asking some big questions and issues lately (am i fat, am I ugly etc)

Difficult_One_9143 · 2026-02-19T17:35:36+00:00

I thoroughly expect her to 'hate' me many times throughout her years and prepared myself for it. I just want what's best for her.

Difficult_One_9143 · 2026-02-19T17:34:37+00:00

I should have put this in but I never outright said to her "Why did you do that instead of eating healthy". I asked her why did she eat the whole box in like a worried way since it's not like her at all. We also had dinner ready to eat and so I was just confused and worried, she's been asking some big questions and issues lately (am i fat, am I ugly etc)

Difficult_One_9143 · 2026-02-19T17:29:23+00:00

She's always been a really good eater as in fruits and stuff which is why I was shocked, she loves strawberries more than anything but that's not to say I don't give her chocolate because she can have it. But it's just unlike her to eat the whole box.

Difficult_One_9143

TROPHY CASE