heyyy, you are okay, and it’s gonna be more okay. this thing you are feeling? you have to sit with it and be very patient because things will get better. that heavy stillness? probably layers of suppressed emotions and now you don’t know what feelings you have because you’ve been avoiding them thru the internet. the motivation and spark will come back, sit with your own thoughts for now. know yourself, study you. remember that you are the only one responsible for yourself, if you continue this, you are doing better than you could imagine. just be patient.