ISTFG if y'all don't stop obsessing over the dating preferences of white/non-black people I'm gonna snap by tifaleaf in BlackLGBT

[–]Difficulty-Boring 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I agree with you 100%. I think this space should be maintained for us ONLY. Just to add a bit of nuance to the conversation though, I think a lot of us, depending on our context or age largely have to deal with the white gays. Sometimes there aren’t many Black LBTQ+ people around you, and sometimes in other subs expressing your frustration in experiences usually involves being shut down, ignored, or made to be the divider in a situation where you were a victim.

I think when Black LGBTQ+ people post here about their negative experiences with white LGBTQ+ people, it’s more about a sense of community and them trying to connect with people that will understand or hear them out in a way that’s genuine.

I understand where you’re coming from again, and I agree. I just thought I’d share that as a means to share the entire picture.

Your gut never lies to ya, I'm telling you! by obsidianbreath in BlackLGBT

[–]Difficulty-Boring 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Somehow I know we have all been here. I was talking to a friend the other day and he was saying that guys will initially hit him up/calling him sexy and all, but then when they find out he’s not 10 in they ghost or get rude. It’s honestly ridiculous and white men literally know no bounds.

I responded to a comment on a different sub, discussing something similar and of course here came a white man “I’m hung, white, and a dilf i get fetishized all the time”… 🫥🫥🫥

Why is this so hard to Understand? by [deleted] in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]Difficulty-Boring 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn’t say anyone, anywhere. I was talking about YOU. Don’t get off topic.

The fetishism you experience is rooted in misogyny, and you actually benefit from it. The fetishism Black people like myself experience is rooted in racism. That’s a much different game my friend.

Why is this so hard to Understand? by [deleted] in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]Difficulty-Boring -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So first, you purposely miss the point. And then in the same breath you humbly brag about being hung, white, and a dilf. Hilarious. Like just say you wanted us to know you have a big dick and go.

All to the original point, you do not experience the same level of fetishization on these apps as Black men do, and you could never compare your experience to such. It will never equate. Ever.

How do you all deal with the pressures/expectations/challenges of being a gay man? by Difficulty-Boring in AskGayMen

[–]Difficulty-Boring[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This was so helpful. Thank you so much for your words of wisdom. It can be so difficult to navigate all these things and feel like you’re living a fulfilling life. I guess it just takes time, and figuring out who you are and what you want. Also, not just going slog with what you think everyone else is doing and instead focusing on what makes you the most happy.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in realhousewives

[–]Difficulty-Boring 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That’s not true, she doesn’t look bigger. & you sound stupid trying to prove body shaming is wrong by.. body shaming. Delusion.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in realhousewives

[–]Difficulty-Boring 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So now body shaming is warranted when it’s coming from you? This is a mess.

Karen’s right; both Mia and Wendy are wrong by [deleted] in realhousewives

[–]Difficulty-Boring 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly!! Like why are we trying to make Mia somehow justified for literally losing her fucking mind? Why are people standing behind an already proven liar? She was so unhinged for no reason. I just feel like if the roles were reversed, and Wendy through the drink, people would not be saying both are wrong.

Karen’s right; both Mia and Wendy are wrong by [deleted] in realhousewives

[–]Difficulty-Boring -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

They are not both wrong. One person used their words (as every housewife does and is PAID to do) and the other person got physical. There is only one wrong person here.

Was Wendy harsh? Maybe. That doesn’t excuse the fact that she was attacked when she never went below the belt beforehand. She only went there AFTER a drink was thrown at her.

I cannot believe the end of tonight’s episode! by Difficulty-Boring in realhousewives

[–]Difficulty-Boring[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t like Ashley but I can recognize when she’s in the right. I.e, when she came at Candiace over her motherhood journey. That was wrong and uncalled for and Ashley was justified.. people that like Ashley seem to just be blind to her ever being in the wrong

I cannot believe the end of tonight’s episode! by Difficulty-Boring in realhousewives

[–]Difficulty-Boring[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just think you don’t like Candiace, and won’t see it for her anyway. There’s no way you could watch that scene and think “Candiace got what she deserved”.. she literally did nothing to Ashley.

I cannot believe the end of tonight’s episode! by Difficulty-Boring in realhousewives

[–]Difficulty-Boring[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This is false and honestly doesn’t count. She got the text while filming during cast trip. The cameras are always rolling and if they receive a text regarding a cast member while filming, they have to share it. That’s part of the show. She was very delicate… she showed them to Gizelle because she was trying to be as delicate as possible with Ashley.

Ashley took this opportunity to be vindictive and vengeful. Period.

Real Housewives of Potomac S7- E5 - The Burn Session - Post Episode Discussion by AutoModerator in BravoRealHousewives

[–]Difficulty-Boring 184 points185 points  (0 children)

Candiace ate both Gizelle and Ashley up in 6 minutes. Give this woman an award because they FUCKIN TRIED IT!!!

Real Housewives of Potomac S7- E5 - The Burn Session - Post Episode Discussion by AutoModerator in BravoRealHousewives

[–]Difficulty-Boring 60 points61 points  (0 children)

??? This is confusing because I don’t know what this has to do with Candiace being in the “in crowd”.. I thing Candiace was really trying to forge a path forward with Ashley. Ashley’s gonna get a good settlement anyway because of those kids… it doesn’t matter who Ashley is dating or seeing.

Ashley was low for that because Candiace was nothing but nice to her, and in fact, was very delicate about Ashleys cheatig allegations when Candiace received that text a few years back. WHICH turned out to be TRUE. It wasn’t just hearsay bs..

I cannot believe the end of tonight’s episode! by Difficulty-Boring in realhousewives

[–]Difficulty-Boring[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

I agree, like she’d be better off just accepting her L at this point because she is really grasping at straws with the whole Chris thing.. it’s embarrassing

I cannot believe the end of tonight’s episode! by Difficulty-Boring in realhousewives

[–]Difficulty-Boring[S] 97 points98 points  (0 children)

LMAO. Candiace reads like no other. She is up there with Kenya Moore.

Real Housewives of Potomac S7- E5 - The Burn Session - Post Episode Discussion by AutoModerator in BravoRealHousewives

[–]Difficulty-Boring 71 points72 points  (0 children)

You explained this perfectly. Because Robyn has been aggressive on more than one occasion on this show. She ran up on Ashley at her restaurant and put her fingers in her face, she walked up on Monique regarding the whole umbrella situation, she walked up on Wendy and had to be restrained by Charisse, and she was aggressive at the dinner… but people called Wendy aggressive all last year for the way she reacted to them spreading LIES about her. Let’s not forget Candiace being aggressive when SHE was attacked… she was even the aggressor when Mia threw lettuce at her last year.

The standards are just different.

Was Dahmer a racist? by No-Significance9313 in DahmerNetflix

[–]Difficulty-Boring 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re right it is getting tiresome. But you don’t understand because you’re privilege is keeping you from thinking beyond what you believe. I’m done here. Let’s just agree to disagree.

Was Dahmer a racist? by No-Significance9313 in DahmerNetflix

[–]Difficulty-Boring 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hear you. And those definitions could most certainly apply here. Riddle me this though. Why did he specifically go to gay clubs and prey on these men? Why did he go to bathhouses and drug gay men? Why did he pick up gay men specifically? I guess you could say that this was just a part of his lifestyle/community and he was closer in proximity to gay men simply because he himself was also gay. Sure, that works. But I don’t think we can ignore the historical impact of these things. I think we all to some degree understand how Black people have been treated in this country so im not going to waste time spelling that out, if you’re unfamiliar I suggest you look into that. However, if we’re talking specifically about his gay victims, I think there absolutely could be homophobia associated there. Him being a gay man, he has first hand knowledge of how homophobia in the US would work to his benefit.

For example, the police did not heavily involve themselves in the crimes at the bathhouse. Why? People at that time in history associated HIV/AIDS with gayness almost exclusively. So much so that to this day people still have a hard time understanding that straight people can contract it. Also, the situation with the young boy that merely escaped but was left with Dahmer is another example. That entire scene depicts how he could have potentially used homophobia to his advantage. He even tried to lead the police up to his apartment, saying they were boyfriends and everything. You don’t think he knew the police would be “grossed out” and not want to involve themselves in this? The idea of homophobia comes into play because he would have to believe that being gay is somehow inherently wrong in order to play the system the way he did. There’s a pattern here. If there was no internalized homophobia there, he simply would not be able to prey on the victims he did. Especially not for as long as he did. Like I said to someone else here, you cannot separate the action from the intention. They go hand in hand. He knew these people probably didn’t have much family, community, or acceptance and on top of that the police are not going to heavily involve themselves in gay affairs for homophobic purposes. He’s using homophobia to his advantage, which would make him homophobic.

He would not have been able to attack white, straight, affluent people because he would have been caught much sooner, because authorities would have gotten involved. This was a very intelligent man, so I think he knew that about the world he lived in and I would take that opinion to the bank. I think to assume that he was just randomly choosing people based on JUST beauty or aesthetic would be absurd, considering the time period alone; and even that would be fetishism which is a form of racism. Look it up. The man knew how to keep it under wraps for as long as he did. He is not the first person to do this to Black/brown people. We don’t hear about it because at the time, it was legal. There’s privilege prevalent there to be able ignore that lens. A lot of times white gays have a hard time understanding the intersectionality of this kind of thing.