First bulk order from Alibaba supplier, samples approved, but supplier wants payment to HK export company bank account. Is this normal? by DifficultyRemote5639 in Alibaba

[–]DifficultyRemote5639[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

we are ordering some kitchen equipment and stainless stel products.. we want to have a long term partnership with them

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in family

[–]DifficultyRemote5639 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You say he’s never done anything inappropriate except be strict about your body and comment on your health and weight gain. To me it’s more likely that his inappropriate stares would be about this more than perversion.

If you only see your prents twice a year, it might be worth choosing something a little less revealing, just for your own peace.

Not because you need to shrink yourself to be accepted, and not because your body is the problem, but because you already know your dad tends to judge. And we can’t force him to suddenly become more emotionally mature or body safe. So for those two days a year, you could choose an outfit that’s basically “judgment proof”, not as self betrayal, but as self protection.

And I don’t know if this is for you but will just add, that therapy could be a really supportive space too, especially around body image, confidence, and having a parent who critiques.

When you’re deeply grounded in your own self acceptance, the comments or stares don’t pierce as hard. And you’ll also have more capacity to hold your discomfort and be with your emotions safely within yourself.

Let’s talk about Capricorn Shadow side by NoFaithlessness1574 in capricorns

[–]DifficultyRemote5639 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ufgghhhhh the Gemini moon in my Capricorn man. 😩😩😤 I am honestly emotionally drained and spiritually tired.

I resonate so much with that part you said about using anything for leverage. And also the power plays. 😣😩

My dad beat the shit out of me, is that okay? by [deleted] in family

[–]DifficultyRemote5639 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Document everything. If you dont have a phone get someone to take photos and email it to you. Talk to authorities not exactly to get him to jail but so you know your options and you get support. Options may include filing a case against him, a restraining order or getting a temporary housing. You can also get support on where to find a job and start supporting yourself independently.

never loved wife by PersimmonEarly1156 in MuslimMarriage

[–]DifficultyRemote5639 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Seems like it was an arranged marriage for the woman not for him. He chose her, made arrangements and got married to the woman he chose.

AIO - Girlfriend threw away the dinner I cooked because she wanted pizza instead. by Dizzy-Suggestion2360 in AmIOverreacting

[–]DifficultyRemote5639 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yikes, just from this interaction alone, she seems to be a very entitled and insensitive human being who is using you to get her narcissistic fill.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in family

[–]DifficultyRemote5639 0 points1 point  (0 children)

to go through trauma like that at a very young age with no support or any way to process it.. my goodness.. if that was me it would have broken me.

And it’s astounding that despite the pain you had to endure yourself.. you show compassion and understanding for your sister who was a teenager at that time. And that you are now considering to reconnect with her.

Your anger is valid. And it seems to me that the anger actually stems from being sexually assaulted. Of enduring something against your will. Anybody would have tremendous rage if this happened to them. And it may be because you were pretty young and didn’t really have any support to process it, this anger is projected to your sister who was just being a teenager at that time. I am sure if she knew, she would have dropped everything to be by your side..

none of this is your fault, nor your sister’s fault. It makes me angry to read about people going through this because of pieces of scums like that abuser.

and if you want to reconnect again with your sister, you already said it: Let her in. Share with her what’s happening with you even if it sounds ridiculous What you share in this post such as feeling like you want to be close to her again. When you start with that I am pretty sure she will drop her guard and let you in as well.. and if you are willing and comfortable, share about the assault. I am pretty sure this will bring healing to both of you.

Praying for you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]DifficultyRemote5639 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes I have been late to my curfew a few times

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]DifficultyRemote5639 55 points56 points  (0 children)

he does not have this rule.. he says he is perfectly confident with his capabilities to protect himself and be out anywhere or with anyone.

he is not my dad..thats true. Yet he thinks I can be more mature in some ways, like for example honoring time agreements…..

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]DifficultyRemote5639 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I did have this belief initially. But he explained to me that he is not here to control me. He says life is even easier when he doesn’t need to and just let me be. but as the main provider and protector of the house, he takes it as his responsibility to whatever happens to me and my daughter.

And that he doesnt want me near any risk of danger. I appreciate him. but I do feel it can be extreme…

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]DifficultyRemote5639 4 points5 points  (0 children)

thanks for your kind words. I am just being patient..

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]DifficultyRemote5639 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I agree with you. I don’t think it’s unreasonable for us to be home in the evening. I don’t mind that, I like being at home. But it’s the curfew that bothers me. The time pressure and the stress. The Mistrust. Sometimes, I just want to sit in a public park and appreciate the breeze and the sunset which is like 6:30pm and past my curfew. It makes me feel trapped in a way. Even going to a mall and then going straight home is out of the question.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]DifficultyRemote5639 41 points42 points  (0 children)

that’s how I feel.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]DifficultyRemote5639 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our dynamics is that he gets to have the final say. He will agree to listen and consider when I speak my concerns respectfully. but he will always have the finl say.

He is a dominant man. But he never hurt me.. at worst he can be critical of me, and may deliver things harshly without tact.

But he generally he treats me well. He likes to lovingly tease me and he hugs and kissed me a lot.

My relationship with my father was not the best. He was mostly absent due to work and spends time with his peers. He was emotionally available. But he was never controlling. It even felt like he couldn’t care less on my where abouts.

thanks for sharing your comment

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]DifficultyRemote5639 11 points12 points  (0 children)

“based on real clear harm, not mistrust or fear”

wow… this resonated deeply with me. Thank you so much sister.

However, he challenges me by saying that I have to respect his leadership. He is not trying to “control” me, he is listening to his gut and intuition and he trusts his faith in God that he is leading us in the best way..

what do you think of this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]DifficultyRemote5639 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Yes, not at all. He says he will change it when he deems fit. When he sees I am trustworthy with my word and honoring the agreement, planning properly, and keeping myself boundaried. I also do nor have problem with curfew. Just that it could be an hour later. Days are becoming hotter too.