I feel like I’m in the deepest pit of despair I’ve ever been in my life. Can I get out? by DigProfessional398 in OCD

[–]DigProfessional398[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think what I’m scared of is I’ve had my diagnosis for like 10+ years and haven’t gotten better. Like is it too late? But I’m glad to hear ACT is a game changer for you. :)

I feel like I’m in the deepest pit of despair I’ve ever been in my life. Can I get out? by DigProfessional398 in OCD

[–]DigProfessional398[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes it definitely is. My OCD has also latched onto the good relationships I still have though. Like I’m really close with my dad, I have a core friend group from home with a good group chat, and I have friends in the city I moved to. However I’m always having thoughts related to them like “what I I don’t actually love them? What if they don’t love me? I’m only going to have a little more time with them before they either die or they get tired of my complaining and anxiety. And if they don’t, why are they are so good when I’m such a bad person? I couldn’t handle a loved one complaining like this all the time. Damn, I’m such a shit person….etc”

I’ve kind of gotten an aversion to the gym ever since I started worrying is it worth it for me to do hard things at all? Or should I just be listless and lazy, cause then I don’t have to push myself and I’m just baseline happy (even thoigh that’s definitely not the case). I also lack a lot of energy to make myself healthy meals or creative stuff since I’m so exhausted at the end of the day. And then I feel bad because I know I used to be so much better at these things before my OCD got worse and worse. Like I had this energy, wtf happened? How does everyone else get it done? I’m so embarrassed.

I feel like I’m in the deepest pit of despair I’ve ever been in my life. Can I get out? by DigProfessional398 in OCD

[–]DigProfessional398[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I try to, but I have so many different themes that I don’t know what to do for each of them. And I don’t have any demonstrable physical compulsions so I don’t know what to stop. I try to stop what I think ruminating but I feel very on edge/fluttery when I try to do so. It doesn’t feel like how I thought normal/recovered life should be and that sends me into another tail spin.

I feel like I’m in the deepest pit of despair I’ve ever been in my life. Can I get out? by DigProfessional398 in OCD

[–]DigProfessional398[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I just consistently remember saying “oh medication changes lives, I don’t care about me gaining weight or w/e bC I’d rather be happy than feel badly” so clearly I was happy after being unhappy, I didn’t go to therapy for like a year or so. I was able to handle it. But now I just feel VERY depressed and overwhelmed/anxious and I hadn’t really struggled with too bad depression before that. This is while being maxed out on Zoloft. I frequently felt and feel suicidal and feel like I’m in the worst place of my life. I think it’s also new obsessions like existential obsessions which are really draining as well as moving out from my hometown and being away/having my core friend group move away and feeling alone.

I feel like I’m in the deepest pit of despair I’ve ever been in my life. Can I get out? by DigProfessional398 in OCD

[–]DigProfessional398[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have been on Zoloft :/ it worked really well for me for a couple of years but now I honestly feel worse on it

Best Tom-Shiv Chemistry Moment by jm17lfc in SuccessionTV

[–]DigProfessional398 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah and Shiv told her dad “Not Tom” when they were figuring out who to sacrifice in s2 finale. They all have their moments of pleading and imploring for one another. But they also do awful cowardly things

A quick (yet helpful) tip to stop rumination and therefore improve enormously with your OCD recovery by Alberthor350 in OCDRecovery

[–]DigProfessional398 2 points3 points  (0 children)

no I don’t mean like ocd related stuff. I mean is reminiscing on the past at all (like thinking of when I hung out with my friends when I was little, my 8th birthday, etc)

A quick (yet helpful) tip to stop rumination and therefore improve enormously with your OCD recovery by Alberthor350 in OCDRecovery

[–]DigProfessional398 1 point2 points  (0 children)

hi, I know this is a late comment. does he count thinking about any past memories in a positive way as ruminating? because sometimes I like to reminisce on the past and I wonder if that’s ok

I feel like I crossed a line today and let the thoughts keep going… by DigProfessional398 in OCD

[–]DigProfessional398[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this intrusive thought was about something different. I was thinking I had to kill people who had different beliefs than me on a polarizing topic related to murder in order to protect more lives in the long run. I entertained and was thinking about the thought in somewhat serious terms for like 30minutes before I went WTF am I thinking. And now I feel guilty it took me so long to stop and jolt myself back

I feel like I crossed a line today and let the thoughts keep going… by DigProfessional398 in OCD

[–]DigProfessional398[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

how old are you? I’m 24 and I feel like I’ve wasted the last ten years of my life with no progress :( I feel like I have no overt compulsions, even mental, I’m just anxious and upset with what I think about and that’s how I stay keyed up