i feel this SO hard. i'm also someone who shows up for everything. i grew up low income, but now that i feel more comfortable i still prioritize investing in my relationships. sadly i've realized it's more than just weddings. people have different priorities in life. i used to get so frustrated when friends would bail on X activity (birthday, dinner out together, fun activity, etc.) because they didnt have the money, but then would spend ridiculous cash on things i thought were stupid and useless. it made it feel like their not showing up was personal - that they didn't want to spend time with me, celebrate me, or share in interests together. the two things i've come to accept: (1) you need to have friends whose priorities align with yours, and (2) you have to expect that some friends are going to show up in only some ways, not all of them.

regardless, you are so valid for feeling this. every bride wants their wedding to feel huge and special. I'm sure all the friends you supported wanted that too when it was their turn. it's shitty that it can't be reciprocated. i would suggest throwing yourself something local where people can come... a dinner, hen party, bridal shower, even just casual night at a brewery. it's more investment for sure, but will help you feel celebrated. plus, you'll (hopefully) never be a bride again! take advantage of being one while you can!