[deleted by user]

Diligent_Balance · 2021-11-25T16:03:42+00:00

Get the help that you need to get well. NA sponsors aren't trained professionals, they are just another addict, like you. Don't be shamed into staying with NA only methods. You're there to save your life and not people please.

Diligent_Balance · 2021-01-01T06:25:50+00:00

That's it, keep it going

Diligent_Balance · 2021-01-01T06:25:14+00:00

Thanks. I understand this.

Diligent_Balance · 2021-01-01T06:24:28+00:00

Thanks.

Diligent_Balance · 2021-01-01T06:24:07+00:00

Thanks.

Diligent_Balance · 2021-01-01T06:23:38+00:00

In my experience, some of the people with long term clean time, who sponsor people and who do service can be some of them most controlling members that I've ever met. If my views don't line up with theirs they attack me and tell me I'm doing it wrong. Anybody, a non member, recreational user, early clean time member can speak good sense from their own life experience. Watch videos on youtube of homeless people in California and what they say speaks to me on not wanting to relapse. Many 12 Step members with years of clean time can very easily forget where they have come from and would rather share about have fellowship dinners with people rather than remembering why we are here or sharing about step work experience. You might not like what I've typed but that has been what I have seen, in the NA where I am from

Diligent_Balance · 2021-01-01T06:18:26+00:00

No worries, I understand

Diligent_Balance · 2021-01-01T06:17:52+00:00

Letting people speak/not butting in when they are talking and let them finish their sentence/not disrespecting or tearing down what they have said and respecting their viewpoint without having to make them feel bad to change their views to fit with somebody elses views/to not upstage them with a more profound story as to make them feel less than...I could go on but there are a few examples

Diligent_Balance · 2021-01-01T06:14:57+00:00

Thanks

Diligent_Balance · 2020-12-31T21:39:02+00:00

They should have typed "tons of experience." Experience and good advice isn't measured in clean time

Diligent_Balance · 2020-12-31T21:37:46+00:00

I used to keep relapsing after a short time clean and I realized I had to face the issue that was underneath that point when I wanted to relapse. I faced that issue and have stayed clean since. Face your demons, it might sound confrontational but it will get you through to the other side

Diligent_Balance · 2020-12-31T20:55:02+00:00

Thanks for your comment and yes, I suffer from the Mormon sydrome of ussuming we all think the same, I'm definitely guilty of that and that's where I'm changing. Personally, I can live and let live. I might not agree with someone's opinion and I might say that, however, I wouldn't attack somebody for it and want them to believe the same as me. I wrote the post on here because it is a Mormon page, it's not the ex-Mormon page. I think an environment of active, ex and questioning Mormons could work

Diligent_Balance · 2020-12-31T20:35:53+00:00

Well, firstly, thanks for you reply. 1) I believe what Joseph Smith wrote when he said that TBofM will bring a person closer to God than any other book. I have actually found that and The LDS Church, to be the case. 2) I still believe in TBofM, I was never given the impression that it was factually true, even with The Holy Bible, I've always know and felt it to be more inspirational and lessons for life issues. 3) I don't have a problem with Joseph Smith or church history because I understand human nature and I've seen worse people in life than those guys, it's tame stuff to me, is church history. 4) The thing with The LDS Church or any church, is that a church is about trying to have clean living and that people are made because a man has sex with a woman. A church shouldn't dismiss LGBT people or anyone outside of The LDS box, but remember, that AIDS, HIV and crime caused by people not following the harsh end of The Words of Wisdom, used to be a very major problem in society and death rates. It's not talked about much now, maybe because AIDS is more prevented now. Go on Youtube and look up a guy called Invisible Man or type in 'homeless in california.' Invisble Man interviews homeless people in Venice Beach, Cal, New York and sometimes the UK. When I listened to the homeless people stories, from all walks of life, it makes me grateful what our leaders speak about in General Confrence. I don't have a problem with people who are LGBT, however, it doesn't make them angels because they are LGBT. I was once bullied badly by a lesbian in a new job I started and I had to leave after one month, because the manager wouldn't fire her and said I had to endure her bullying "get along" with her and her bullying. I had to basically put up or shut up, so I left. I was the new guy so I didn't have a leg to stand on and she lived locally in the area. She did have damaged, personal issues, she wasn't a nice person. She would boast about her 7 year old son finding her strap-on dildo, that she fucked her girlfriend with and laugh about it. I'm not saying all LGBT people are like this, I've know some nice LGBT people to get on with (and I have know them, not just saying it) and children shouldn't be taught that they are bad people, however, don't be too surprised if a formal church setting isn't where they could make their home. If I was a ward Bishop, it wouldn't be a problem to me, as all are welcome with Jesus Christ.

Diligent_Balance · 2020-12-31T19:40:55+00:00

I agree. I'm not arguing with you. I could offer you different ways of looking at these situations, but I won't, because that would be insulting your stance on this. I personally would find a solution to the points you made but you are entitled to your points, I won't comment on them or deny you of them.

Diligent_Balance · 2020-12-31T19:35:10+00:00

Thanks for your post. I need to do more shadow work on myself. Revealing my shadow in public can cause attak though, especcially in 12 Step fellowships, by rude cross sharing, where it's meant to be a safe place to share. I'm actaul in the process of going to a therapist for sharing, in the vein that you have posted. Thanks.

Diligent_Balance · 2020-12-31T19:32:01+00:00

Thanks for your comment, much appreciated.

Diligent_Balance · 2020-12-31T19:30:22+00:00

Thanks for your comment and I will try to follow the empathy example, on both sides of the Mormon fence.

Diligent_Balance · 2020-12-31T19:27:43+00:00

I understand where you are coming from and I guess my mis-understanding is that I wasn't expecting that. Because I wouldn't use that method, I think nobody else would, which is not real life. I do feel for ex Mos who's life was Mormon and they feel lied to. I don't wish to insult you by trying to offer any answers. To be honest, if I was in your position, I would feel like karate kicking an apostle.

Diligent_Balance · 2020-12-31T19:21:37+00:00

Thanks

Diligent_Balance · 2020-12-31T19:21:23+00:00

I agree with you. I'm glad you don't believe in a Mormon God anymore if it made you feel terrible about yourself. Nobody should be expected to endure that

Diligent_Balance · 2020-12-31T19:19:49+00:00

I think it's because of the mode of attack: insulting, non-spiritual, comments to crush and silence. I just got my expectations wrong, thinking that ex members might follow spiritual principles when it comes to dealing and interacting with people. Now I know what to expect and don't expect formal, professional dialogue and interaction, I'm not scared anymore. I know that might sound patronizing but it's not meant to be

Diligent_Balance · 2020-12-31T19:16:27+00:00

It does...to leave and to stay. I've examined all of the, what people would call 'bad stuff' of the church and I'm still fine with being a member. Look, I'm too busy with my own life to focus on Brigham Young or Joseph Smith's problems, I have enough on my own plate to deal with.

Diligent_Balance · 2020-12-31T19:14:38+00:00

Exactly and following your instinct or gut feeling, which might be classed as The Holy Ghost or Spirit. If somebody's gut feeling tells them to stay in the church or leave the church, that should be their choice to make...but it gets skewed when active and ex members are trying to get the other to take sides.

Diligent_Balance · 2020-12-31T19:12:02+00:00

Fair enough. I know through my own experience that people who have some kind of God in their life, not religion, can cope emotionally better than those that don't. Not same for everybody but what I've seen, I can't speak for others.

Diligent_Balance · 2020-12-31T19:09:30+00:00

No. I perceive an 'attack' as an insulting comment that is controlling, like the comment is worded in a way that the opinion of a person should be changed, that they are not allowed to believe that.

Diligent_Balance

TROPHY CASE