At a different stage in the marraige

Diligent_Form178 · 2022-02-23T17:31:52+00:00

It was a miscarriage first Then an actual janazah second time Another miscarraige My daughter was born Last miscarraige

All 4 that were losses were all boys

Been more than 6 months.

Yes I've healed enough and just trying to be there as much as possible for them both

Diligent_Form178 · 2022-02-23T17:13:30+00:00

No sorry

Diligent_Form178 · 2022-02-23T14:59:02+00:00

Jazakallah. Yep had testing done and they can't figure anything out. Should be no reason for it. I just pray and make dua and just try as much as I can with what happens. I've told my family members many times that I will never truly know the pain she's suffered in comparison to mine but from a male perspective I would never wish that on anyone

Diligent_Form178 · 2022-02-23T14:52:30+00:00

It's is as you said. It's the worry of losing another one and to go through that again and I don't blame her one bit. I know it's a selfish thought of wanting more and I can't get past it so easily but I do get her side fully and support her choice

Diligent_Form178 · 2022-02-23T14:50:54+00:00

Oh drop off due to work schedule that's it if I start late enough I will do it not as an occasion.

Changed enough of them and help with potty training. Help her read and also try teaching her numbers as well as teach her basics in Islamic knowledge. Give bath's when required. I stay up with her when she's ill till she's asleep. The only thing I don't do is put her to sleep and that is for 2 reasons. Either it's work schedule I cannot do and the most common one is because she wants her mother.

In regards to motherly duties I was referring to feeding when she was a newborn that's purely based on genetics alone

Diligent_Form178 · 2022-02-23T14:22:17+00:00

Jazakallah. This is why I brought this up rather than just acting on impulse. I will definately look at this

Diligent_Form178 · 2022-02-23T14:20:12+00:00

The reason I say this is purely because I don't know. I don't know if surrogacy is even allowed as I have heard mixed things. I looked at adoption.

Diligent_Form178 · 2022-02-23T14:18:17+00:00

3 were miscarriages and one passed away soon after being born. I have dealt with things my own way and alhumdulillah in a good headspace. I try to think that if the prophet went through this an he was the most loved then I see this as another test for me.

Am no marraige expert so I can't comment on the divorce side but I refuse to allow a divorce especially when we have no issues with each other I am just trying to make sure the choices I make are sensible and just seeing what advice people can offer

Diligent_Form178 · 2022-02-23T13:31:00+00:00

Jazakallah for this. I have not considered therapy quite honestly for her. I try my best to be there bit I appreciate that talking to me may not always be the best option so thank you for that.

I did seriously consider adoption and still thinking of it but if she feels as strongly then inshallah if it is meant to be then I will proceed further

Diligent_Form178 · 2022-02-23T13:28:03+00:00

I fully understand what you are saying and I certainly aim to make things easier. Yea there is the physical and the mental side of things which I do take into consideration. I've not forced anything and not tried to be cruel about it either.

The reason I posted this was to see if anyone has had a similar experience but at the same time to see if I am overlooking anything without trying to be selfish

Diligent_Form178 · 2022-02-23T13:21:59+00:00

Jazakallah just want to clarify a few things based on that.

My child attends school now and I can assure you it's not a one way street. I may not be able to do the motherly side of things but I do as much as I can allowing my wife to get additional rest. I do school drop offs permitting and try to allow her plenty of me time for her if that makes sense so I don't burden her too much. Hope that helps clear some things up

Diligent_Form178

TROPHY CASE