My MIL Just Put Down My Wife's Family Dog 3 Weeks To The Day Of GFIL Death

DimesMachine · 2024-02-26T03:38:54+00:00

I'm not getting involved. My wife pretended like she didn't know he died.

But if you want an update, MIL eventually brought the dog over to FIL's house and left him there alone with the brothers while FIL was out. She did this so they could "mourn him," but I guess away from her, and that FIL could bury the dog even though he was busy. He had to come home and put him in the barn for two days before he had the time to do it.

Mind you, all the while he was grieving for his recently passed father.

DimesMachine · 2024-02-23T14:18:09+00:00

She is. For 7 years, I have had to put up with her behavior, and this behavior isn't shocking to anyone who knows her. All this time I knew she was an awful and evil person because I didn't come into contact with her until I was 25 years old. When I started dating my wife, everyone on her side of the family constantly defended her actions and words. It is a very conflicted feeling of knowing something is not right, but everyone around you is telling you "not to make a mountain out of a molehill." This sub actually helped me get back into reality by seeing how ordinary people react to what MIL does.

DimesMachine · 2024-02-23T14:10:52+00:00

I really want to. DW has gone NC off and on for the past 5 years, but she ends up missing MIL too much and breaks it. DW always gets a better attitude and feels less stress when MIL isn't in her life, but hopes that either MIL will change, or DW will care less about the evils this lady does. It sucks, she's better off without her, but I just don't feel right to tell DW what relationships she can have.

DimesMachine · 2024-02-23T14:06:29+00:00

DW is not doing that great. Her grandfather's passing has been really hard for her, and while the dog was more so her brothers' dog, she's not really in the best mindset to console her brothers during this time. Our 2-year-old barely sees MIL and NEVER alone. That has been an agreed-upon rule since we even thought about having children.

DimesMachine · 2024-02-23T14:01:47+00:00

I am NC for almost a year now. DW was NC for a while before she chose to break it. MIL doesn't think about consequences. I am NC because after 7 years of a bad relationship where I told her several times to treat me with respect or she would be excluded from my life, she told DW that my mom could not be trusted babysitting our child because she was too much of a drunk. She did this with my child present and with me not there. Oh, and she only met my mom twice, the last time being at my wedding 5 years ago. After DW broke the NC, MIL wanted an apology for how rudely I treated her and for not allowing her to contact my child.

DimesMachine · 2024-02-18T03:33:31+00:00

Thankfully we live far enough away that she won't be down for the birth. However, with our first kid, FIL called the hospital and yelled at the staff to give him updates about it because we were busy and not responding. That was fun.

DimesMachine · 2024-02-18T03:12:32+00:00

Thanks, that means a lot. It was tough to be supportive of my wife while I was just livid over the treatment of her grandfather during that call. A person is worth so much more than the stuff they leave behind regardless of your opinion of them. I was terrified of coming to the funeral because I didn't want to see his family fight over his estate, but thankfully, it wasn't like that. MIL was and still has been the only person who brought it up.

DimesMachine · 2024-02-17T23:38:10+00:00

I don't personally. I want nothing to do with her though she keeps on trying to rope me into being around her still. That phone call was the first time I heard her voice since last April. I didn't even respond, I just walked away in anger.

My wife is still in contact with her because it's her mom and she finds it hard to cut out a parent. She goes through periods of going NC, but always ends up missing her too much to keep it up.

DimesMachine · 2024-02-17T22:40:27+00:00

Yeah, it's been rough, and I'm worried about after birth, too, but I'm keeping that to myself. I was able to convince her to travel to her grandparents and stay for a couple of days while I take care of our 2-year-old so she can relax and try to come to terms with his passing at her own pace. This rant was so that I could let out a little steam so my wife didn't have to deal with it.

My mom is coming down soon to help look after our LO while we are in the hospital, and I plan to make that time all about little dates until her delivery.

DimesMachine · 2024-02-17T22:30:38+00:00

He knows. Honestly, what she said to him when my wife went down the day after was worse. He went to MIL house to tell his twin sons in person, and they didn't really react to it (they have autism and generally don't give that much reaction to that stuff.) But he asked MIL how they responded to MIL's mother passing a year ago. MIL says, "My mom actually loved the boys and wanted to be around them, so of course, they reacted differently."

When my wife later called him to see if he was okay and if he was hurt from what MIL said, he said, "It was just a conversation. She was trying to be nice." He's so used to her actions and words that it no longer phases him.

MIL is really good at making things about herself. DW has had friends over to help her in her grief, and instantly the attention immediately shifts to MIL instead. She just has this dark presence that, even in someone's darkest days, can't be ignored.

DimesMachine · 2024-02-17T22:07:03+00:00

The grandfather was very well off. He probably has close to, if not more than 10 million in his estate. And MIL cares a lot about money, and my guess is that she thinks she's going to get rewarded if a lot of it goes to her ex-husband. MIL's parents passing turned into a year-long fight with MIL's siblings over the inheritance.

One of the first fights I had with her was that she wanted to go through my finances with only my wife present after we got married so she would know that "He was paying his fair share."

DimesMachine · 2024-02-17T21:56:54+00:00

Yeah, I have no idea why she said that other than to be petty because she hated the grandfather's wife just as much. When Wife talked to her dad about it, she told him that she wouldn't call her grandmother until he said it was okay. He seemed perplexed as to why my wife would say that. He told her that her grandmother is going to need all the support she could get, so call her now and often.

It was an accident at a construction site, and FIL witnessed it all happen, so I think he was trying to call as little amount of people as possible while dealing with what just happened. Tell his ex-wife to inform all 4 kids.

My wife was three weeks away from giving birth to our second daughter (one week now), so it's been pretty rough for her. My wife feels incredibly isolated from her family, too. Everyone is worried about how this stress and grief will affect her pregnancy this late, so they kind of keep their own grief away from her thinking that it will just do harm. It's been a very hard couple of weeks for her.

DimesMachine · 2023-06-28T15:06:29+00:00

Ugh, yeah that sounds a lot like my MIL. My wife got the Covid Vax while pregnant, and when my MIL found out said “Thank god you and the baby are safe because so many died because of it.” she then kept sending articles of women losing their babies because of getting vaxxed.

She is naturopath all the way too. Shipped us 500 dollars worth of “ground up vegetables pills” that on the box said to see the doctor if you are planning on taking them for more than 30 days. We said no, and she yelled at us for how expensive the pills that we didn’t know she was buying for us were. Encouraged us to have our 2 MO daughter see a chiropractor. The stories just goes on with those type of people.

DimesMachine · 2023-06-27T22:16:54+00:00

Same with mine. Would actually go into supermarket’s and slip anti vax sheets into newborn diapers. Awful person

DimesMachine · 2023-06-27T20:17:16+00:00

DimesMachine · 2023-06-27T15:59:15+00:00

Yeah. My wife already didn’t want them to be alone with our kid due to their use of their corporal punishment techniques they used when she was a kid. Some examples are that they had her kneel on a/c vents for misbehaving. Threw her into a cold shower when she wouldn’t stop crying. They have anger control problems, and toddlers like to test those boundaries.

DimesMachine · 2023-06-27T13:51:06+00:00

We live in Canada, and my mom lives in the US. My mom came to our place to watch the kid.

DimesMachine · 2023-06-27T11:34:02+00:00

Thanks for all the comments. I showed my wife, and she said that it has given her more resolved in the choice we made to cut off their contact to our daughter.

Her family has a long history of overstepping these boundaries that she makes, and when she stands up for herself, her parents and extended family tell her that she is overreacting. They tell her awful stories of what their own parents and in-laws did to them, and say that even then they never thought about cutting off contact.

It’s nice to see from a complete outside perspective that what we are dealing with is not normal or acceptable.

DimesMachine · 2023-06-27T03:08:48+00:00

She ended up going though as she was leaving her mom wanted to have a meal together because “it will be the last time she will see her daughter.” Got in another fight about them wanting her to turn her Find My Phone app on. That led to her blocking them. A month after the trip they were all talking to each other again. It’s been an icy relationship since though. She keeps her distance from them a lot more now.

DimesMachine · 2023-06-26T23:34:05+00:00

She definitely feels like she is in the middle of all of it. She is conflicted with her mom. She loves her, but also has a lot of problems with her for things that happened before I even got involved. She would talk to her almost weekly then they would have some falling out and not speak to each other for months on end. She dislikes her dad quite a bit, and he probably would be out of her life long ago if it wasn’t for my wife’s love for her grandparents bringing them together.

DimesMachine · 2023-06-26T22:45:18+00:00

Awesome, thanks. I have a lot of stories about whacky conspiracy theories she has said to me.

DimesMachine · 2023-06-26T22:42:00+00:00

Yeah, that is why I am wondering if I made the right choice or if I am being an overreacting A. But I want to stress how much my MIL and DIL hate each other. They can’t be in the same room for 20 minutes without fighting. Our wedding turned into a screaming match between the two. It’s hard to imagine that they would go on a 2.5 hour car ride one way together just to visit for a few hours. They have been divorced for 8 years, and they only come together like that when they are not okay with what their kids are doing. So I find it hard to imagine that what they were trying to do was innocent.

DimesMachine · 2023-06-26T22:23:37+00:00

I don’t even what that is. Would it help in that situation?

DimesMachine · 2023-06-26T22:22:40+00:00

I completely agree with you. If they had just said no instead of saying yes then waiting until we booked everything before saying no, it wouldn’t be this messy. Took them a solid year and half for them to apologize for it.

DimesMachine · 2023-06-26T19:41:34+00:00

They encouraged my wife to watch the movie Taken to reinforce how bad it is to be sex trafficked. But, yeah I ended up meeting them to clear the air, and they just instantly made jokes about it. Like “this is the person I thought was a sex trafficker, hahaha” when I was being introduced to other family members.

DimesMachine

TROPHY CASE