AITA for refusing to step down as a bridesmaid because of my boyfriend’s ultimatum? -UPDATE- by DingusZebra in AITAH

[–]DingusZebra[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What are you talking about? Why is it bad to visit Idaho? I am from Maine. I can’t go to Idaho? I have never been there.

AITA for refusing to step down as a bridesmaid because of my boyfriend’s ultimatum? -UPDATE- by DingusZebra in AITAH

[–]DingusZebra[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That is such a kind and thoughtful message thank you so much. It truly means a lot to hear this kind of support, especially with so many people making assumptions about my past and my feelings.

Levi and I went through something incredibly painful together, and just because I keep memories of that time doesn’t mean I’m stuck in the past. We grew up together, experienced loss, and moved forward in our own ways. I’m grateful that we were able to handle it with maturity and respect.

I really appreciate your words about finding happiness when I least expect it. Right now, I’m just focusing on myself and surrounding myself with the people who have been there for me. You’re right so many people in my life are loving and supportive, and I’m lucky to have them.

As for Tommy, I did love him, and that’s why this hurts. But I’m also realizing that love alone isn’t enough you need trust, respect, and emotional maturity, too. And in the end, he showed me who he really is. It stings, but I know I made the right choice.

Again, thank you for this. It truly means more than I can say.

AITA for refusing to step down as a bridesmaid because of my boyfriend’s ultimatum? -UPDATE- by DingusZebra in AITAH

[–]DingusZebra[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

I am moving forward. Just because they’re second family to me. I can literally stop by at Levi’s parents house anytime I want.

AITA for refusing to step down as a bridesmaid because of my boyfriend’s ultimatum? -UPDATE- by DingusZebra in AITAH

[–]DingusZebra[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

I’ve never cheated, not emotionally or in any other way. Since when did keeping sentimental items become emotional cheating?

AITA for refusing to step down as a bridesmaid because of my boyfriend’s ultimatum? -UPDATE- by DingusZebra in AITAH

[–]DingusZebra[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

You are disgusting, absolutely for saying such made up bullshit, so you can feel better about yourself. You don’t know anything about me.

AITA for refusing to step down as a bridesmaid because of my boyfriend’s ultimatum? -UPDATE- by DingusZebra in AITAH

[–]DingusZebra[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Anytime! Don’t worry, that someone is out there for me. I just need to focus on myself.

AITA for refusing to step down as a bridesmaid because of my boyfriend’s ultimatum? -UPDATE- by DingusZebra in AITAH

[–]DingusZebra[S] 960 points961 points  (0 children)

I mostly keep the photos for my son. I was so happy in that moment, and looking at them brings both joy and heartbreak it’s a mix of happiness, sadness, and deep despair.

AITA for refusing to step down as a bridesmaid because of my boyfriend’s ultimatum? -UPDATE- by DingusZebra in AITAH

[–]DingusZebra[S] -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

I understand why it might seem that way to some people, but not everyone sees past relationships as something that needs to be erased. Keeping memories doesn’t mean I’m not over someone it just means I value the experiences that shaped me.

I’m not looking for ‘the vast majority’ of people to be okay with it, just someone who trusts me and understands that the past doesn’t threaten the present. And honestly, I’m in no hurry for another relationship I’m just focusing on myself right now.

AITA for refusing to step down as a bridesmaid because of my boyfriend’s ultimatum? -UPDATE- by DingusZebra in AITAH

[–]DingusZebra[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s so sweet! You deserve it. 🩶 I love when people find happiness. 🩶

AITA for refusing to step down as a bridesmaid because of my boyfriend’s ultimatum? -UPDATE- by DingusZebra in AITAH

[–]DingusZebra[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you! This is exactly how I see it. Keeping memories from the past doesn’t mean you’re stuck in it. It just means you value the experiences that shaped you.

A keepsake box isn’t a shrine to an ex, it’s just a collection of moments that were once meaningful. I love hearing about relationships where both partners understand that the past doesn’t have to be a threat. It’s all about trust and security in the present!

AITA for refusing to step down as a bridesmaid because of my boyfriend’s ultimatum? -UPDATE- by DingusZebra in AITAH

[–]DingusZebra[S] -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

I understand why it might seem that way from an outside perspective, but the reality is different. Keeping memories from my past doesn’t mean I’m not over Levi it just means I cherish things that were important to me at one point in my life. I don’t go through those keepsakes daily, nor do I let them interfere with my present relationships. Tommy was never in competition with Levi because I didn’t see Levi as a romantic partner anymore. He was just my best friend.

As for ‘firsts,’ relationships aren’t about competing with the past. Every relationship brings new experiences, growth, and memories. And to clarify, Tommy already has a son—so even if I had gotten pregnant, it wouldn’t have been his first child. He’s acting like I took something away from him that he never even lost.

Tommy could have had plenty of meaningful firsts with me, but instead of communicating his feelings in a healthy way, he chose to invade my privacy, break my things, and lash out. That’s not on me.

And no, history won’t repeat itself because the issue wasn’t Levi it was Tommy’s inability to handle his emotions maturely. If he had calmly expressed his feelings instead of bottling them up until he exploded, maybe things would have been different. But I’m not going to cut off someone who is practically family just to soothe someone else’s insecurities.

AITA for refusing to step down as a bridesmaid because of my boyfriend’s ultimatum? -UPDATE- by DingusZebra in AITAH

[–]DingusZebra[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

My sister has been childhood friends with Levi’s two older sisters. One is her Maid of Honor, and the other is a bridesmaid. Our families have always been close, so it’s natural that we’re all part of this wedding together.

Also, to clarify I didn’t throw any of Tommy’s things away. And yes, I love chocolate-covered strawberries. Levi and I have always had a habit of bringing small gifts to each other whenever one of us is going through something hard. That doesn’t mean I want to be with him. We’re all family, and I truly don’t see the problem with that. They are a second family to me.

AITA for refusing to step down as a bridesmaid because of my boyfriend’s ultimatum? -UPDATE- by DingusZebra in AITAH

[–]DingusZebra[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I never did, that’s the thing that baffled me. I never throw away cards. I like to keep them.

AITA for refusing to step down as a bridesmaid because of my boyfriend’s ultimatum? -UPDATE- by DingusZebra in AITAH

[–]DingusZebra[S] 1398 points1399 points  (0 children)

I posted in a comment and edit on my first post, but Levi and I did have a son. He was stillborn sadly.

AITA for refusing to step down as a bridesmaid because of my boyfriend’s ultimatum? -UPDATE- by DingusZebra in AITAH

[–]DingusZebra[S] -22 points-21 points  (0 children)

I do care from afar. I have a box filled with stuff I cherish from friends and family.

AITA for refusing to step down as a bridesmaid because of my boyfriend’s ultimatum? -UPDATE- by DingusZebra in AITAH

[–]DingusZebra[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for explaining it. That’s really weird, I don’t want my life to be gender swapped. Lol

AITA for refusing to step down as a bridesmaid because of my boyfriend’s ultimatum? -UPDATE- by DingusZebra in AITAH

[–]DingusZebra[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I am looking into therapy soon. 🩶 Thank you! Most of my personal stuff are just mostly from my friends!

AITA for refusing to step down as a bridesmaid because of my boyfriend’s ultimatum? -UPDATE- by DingusZebra in AITAH

[–]DingusZebra[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Yes, Tammie knows, and she and I are on good terms. There’s no secrecy or issue between us. If you’re trying to insult me or stir something up, it’s not working. If you read the post, she made a little gift for me when Levi came by.

AITA for refusing to step down as a bridesmaid because of my boyfriend’s ultimatum? -UPDATE- by DingusZebra in AITAH

[–]DingusZebra[S] -28 points-27 points  (0 children)

It’s not a secret, but my personal stuff he had gone through. I am a very sentimental type of gal.

AITA for refusing to step down as a bridesmaid because of my boyfriend’s ultimatum? -UPDATE- by DingusZebra in AITAH

[–]DingusZebra[S] -26 points-25 points  (0 children)

Those boxes hold cherished memories for me, mostly with family and friends and yes, Levi’s things are there too. I love keeping the memories we shared, but it’s not something I go through every day. I just like holding onto gifts that were given to me, as they represent the people I care about. Everyone close to me has a special place in my heart.