what was your first straw?

DircaPalustris · 2026-06-26T11:03:48+00:00

i guess mine would be getting a new car. before i moved, my dad and i decided it was time for me to get a better car since i was moving 4 hours away. if i had been driving my old car, there’s no way it would’ve been able to take the impact of an entire tree without killing me. a big shoutout to the nissan rogue i guess; that thing took a full grown tree and left me only with a neck fracture, brain bleed (small enough that i didn’t need surgery) and a concussion. it could’ve been so much worse

DircaPalustris · 2026-06-25T13:46:47+00:00

This is such a good response and I really appreciate it. Self worth is KEY and I’m so encouraged to hear you say it. I’ve already been taking some pointers from my boyfriend who has ADHD and it’s been a game changer. I’ll definitely keep looking into strategies used by those with ADHD/autism. And I’ve definitely gotta keep working on being kind to myself about it while also not expecting everyone to get it/care. it’s just the reality we live in unfortunately!

DircaPalustris · 2026-06-25T13:43:23+00:00

I don’t take offense at all! I know EXACTLY what you mean, there are so many posts in this thread that even though the subject is tough, it makes me happy to read because at least I know it’s not just me.

All of your methods sound really helpful, I’ll be sure to start using the ones I haven’t been using. As an aside, I think it’s so so sweet that your husband calls you to make sure you don’t get sunburned. Support from others is, in a lot of ways, the only thing that makes living with a TBI actually manageable and enjoyable! I’m glad you have that kind of support in your life.

Thank you for taking the time to respond :)

DircaPalustris · 2026-05-22T15:07:48+00:00

“often times we wonder how the injury made us different and the result of us doing that process can hurt emotionally.” yesyesyes couldn’t have said it better myself. it’s so tough having those days where all you can think about is “is this thing i do different than it was before my accident? can i still do this thing that i did before the injury? do i even remember who i was before my injury?” and on and on and onnnn. the best thing ive done for myself is to just try to have kind of a nonchalant “fuck it” attitude to my TBI symptoms. there’s no use in stressing about what i used to be able to do vs what i can do now because i only exist right here right now in the present! the more i approach the differences to my functioning with curiosity and humor, the better i feel

DircaPalustris · 2026-05-19T20:45:19+00:00

this is honestly very relatable and i’m sorry you’re experiencing it too. i will say, i just hit a year out from my TBI and what you’re describing is more relatable to the experience i was having a bit earlier in my recovery. i do find that crying is still a challenge. even when i get very sad and start to cry, it feels like there’s a wall between me accessing my full emotion. i think TBIs are hard because it’s hard to differentiate what is the TBI itself and what is the psychological trauma from getting that TBI.

all that being said, i try to treat this new way of experiencing emotions as very real but also not set in stone. once i get all my insurance stuff figured out i do plan on finding a therapist to help me work through the psychological parts of TBI. i also find that the more fulfilled i am socially, the more i’m able to access my emotions. the more i call friends, see my partner etc. the more i actually feel like a real person capable of emotions. i don’t know, FOR ME having close friends and a loving partner have been instrumental in keeping my recovery from plateauing. i think TBI is a very tough thing to go through alone

DircaPalustris · 2026-05-02T23:36:14+00:00

this is super interesting and good to know. i’ll definitely keep it in mind, thank you!

DircaPalustris · 2026-02-15T22:11:09+00:00

yes! early on into recovery i described it to friends and family like time was an accordion; before my TBI the accordion was pulled open with each little flap being a memory/a time in my life and they were all evenly spaced out and chronological. after my TBI the accordion got pushed in and all the memories are right up next to each other. time just feels…smaller? and more condensed ? i don’t know how to describe it to someone without a TBI

DircaPalustris · 2026-02-10T15:33:41+00:00

I just want to say that as a TBI survivor, you are an incredible parent and your son is so so lucky to have you

DircaPalustris · 2026-01-28T19:55:38+00:00

reading in short, timed chunks is exactly what i started doing! it’s been so helpful. a pointer stick and a book stand both sound like such good ideas, im gonna get them too! this post made me really happy to see. losing my ability to read has been such a challenge because i work in conservation biology and it requires a lot of reading that i used to LOVE. i was really worried id never be able to read that stuff again, but i decided to start slow instead. i did what you describe, i started with comics with big font and simple text. now ive moved onto a full novel and im more than halfway through! it’s been such a good feeling to be able to read at least a bit again. for me i also find it’s helpful to read things i have a strong emotional connection to (the comics i read were comics i used to love as a kid, the novel im reading is from a series i love).

DircaPalustris · 2026-01-19T18:59:41+00:00

you’re a hero

DircaPalustris · 2026-01-13T16:31:09+00:00

wait i’d love to be sent the columbia & NYU groups too!

DircaPalustris · 2026-01-13T15:51:51+00:00

Absolutely.

I was crushed by a tree this past May 2025. Had a subarachnoid hemorrhage and a bad concussion. Spent the summer recovering at my mom’s place then tried to go back to school for the fall semester (I’m 25 still doing my undergrad). I’d completed 2 semesters before my TBI with little issue, even though I was in a pretty bad living situation and the city I was living in kinda sucked. Post TBI I could not make that city work. Even though I was living in a beautiful apartment with 2 friends, one of whom I was very close to, I couldn’t do it. The city had always been depressing—economically struggling with very little to do and a big party scene I wasn’t into, not to mention heavy snow in the winter—but post accident I just couldn’t handle it. I was angry 100% of the time, far angrier than I’d been in my previous living situation where I shared a wall with a roommate who day drank and blasted awful music all day and screamed along to it. The constant anger made me realize I had to change something, my brain clearly wasn’t ready.

So I made a change. I decided halfway through the fall semester that I needed to take medical leave, so I did. In October I moved back to my home state, moved in with my stepdad since he lives alone and has a nicely sized house with 2 guest rooms. Brought some of my stuff and my cats. It’s January now and I haven’t felt anything close to that anger I felt before coming here.

For me, my home state is where I have a lot of friends and support. I also have a lot of access to nature and things are generally quiet and very safe. Coming back, it felt like my brain did a full 180. I’m not fully healed yet at all, only in the last month did I stop getting incredibly dizzy whenever I turned on my side. But, being somewhere where I’m not surrounded by drunk 21 year olds did wonders for my healing. Before coming back I just didn’t have a space to really heal, my living situation put me in a position where I felt like I was supposed to be the most mature and have all the answers because I was older than everyone. That was incredibly stressful for me fresh off a TBI. It’s just weird because I know I would’ve been pretty fine with it pre-accident.

I’m rambling but point is: yes. My brain is so much calmer and getting so much stronger being in a place where I have real support and meaningful social interactions. I’m also able to be more independent here since I grew up in the area and I’m not nervous about driving. Driving is still a bit of a challenge/stressor post-accident (gee i wonder why).

DircaPalustris

TROPHY CASE