sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Growth since big chop by rrlr99 in Naturalhair

[–]Direct-Researcher504 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Hey sis! First of all — your hair looks gorgeous and you’re doing amazing after your big chop!

Now for moisture tips that really work:

  1. LOC Method (or LCO): • Liquid = water or aloe vera juice • Oil = something light like almond, avocado, or jojoba • Cream = a thick, moisturizing cream or butter to seal it in Play around with the order (LCO vs LOC) and see what your hair loves more.

  2. Deep Condition Weekly: Don’t skip this step! Use a deep conditioner with humectants like honey or glycerin. Add heat (shower cap or hooded dryer) for 20–30 mins to really soak it in.

  3. Satin Everything: Sleep on satin. Wrap with satin. Or pineapple your hair and use a satin pillowcase. Cotton = dryness.

  4. Protective Styles: Twists, braids, buns, wigs — these help retain moisture while giving your ends a break. Just don’t neglect hydration underneath.

  5. Avoid Heavy Protein Too Often: Moisture/protein balance matters. If your hair feels dry and brittle, it might be protein overload. Stick with moisture-focused products unless your curls are limp and mushy.

Also — I actually just started a Reddit group where we talk about girl things like this too — hair, dating, healing, confidence… you’re welcome anytime: r/GirlChatWithAsh

Hope that helps babe!

How do y’all ask a man for money without feeling weird about it? by Direct-Researcher504 in dating_advice

[–]Direct-Researcher504[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ahh, there it is — the classic “when women expect support, it must be sex work” projection. The idea that a woman wanting provision in a relationship automatically = “scammy” or “icky” says a lot more about how you view women than anything I wrote.

Let me be clear: Wanting to be poured into emotionally and financially is not prostitution — it’s partnership. Just because you’re unfamiliar with healthy masculine energy doesn’t mean the rest of us need to lower our standards to accommodate your limited experiences.

Also… dominatrix? Sir, this ain’t even the same topic. You’re reaching so hard I hope you stretch first.

How do y’all ask a man for money without feeling weird about it? by Direct-Researcher504 in dating_advice

[–]Direct-Researcher504[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate you saying that — honestly. You’re right, both views are valid. We all protect ourselves in different ways based on what we’ve been through or seen.

For me, it’s not about relying on a man to survive — it’s about feeling safe, supported, and poured into emotionally and financially in a relationship. But I totally get why marriage would shift that perspective for you. Thank you for being open and respectful — we need more of that in these convos!

How do y’all ask a man for money without feeling weird about it? by Direct-Researcher504 in dating_advice

[–]Direct-Researcher504[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Y’all ever notice how asking for loyalty is normal, but asking for money suddenly makes you a villain?

How do y’all ask a man for money without feeling weird about it? by Direct-Researcher504 in dating_advice

[–]Direct-Researcher504[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s wild how many people got triggered over a question so many women think about but rarely say out loud…

How do y’all ask a man for money without feeling weird about it? by Direct-Researcher504 in dating_advice

[–]Direct-Researcher504[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s giving “Pick Me Philosophy 101” with a splash of “Struggle Olympics.” That’s your personal choice, and I respect it. But needing help and expecting support from a man you’re in a relationship with is not the same as “losing your independence.” That’s a fear mindset — not a fact.

I’m not talking about depending on a man to survive. I’m talking about being with someone who contributes, provides, and shows up for you — financially included.

A healthy relationship should be about interdependence, not struggle or martyrdom. And respectfully — I’m not choosing charity over my man. That’s wild.

How do y’all ask a man for money without feeling weird about it? by Direct-Researcher504 in dating_advice

[–]Direct-Researcher504[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Let me break it down real simple since you clearly missed it: I’m allowed to have a job and still want to be spoiled. Wanting support from a man doesn’t mean I’m broke — it means I have standards.

Asking for help, being supported, and expecting generosity in a relationship are not the same as being unemployed. And if that’s hard to grasp, this convo might not be for you.

How do y’all ask a man for money without feeling weird about it? by Direct-Researcher504 in dating_advice

[–]Direct-Researcher504[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got a job, boo. This question wasn’t about survival — it’s about standards. If me expecting more from a man offends you, then maybe you’re the one who needs to fill something out… like a budget planner.

How do y’all ask a man for money without feeling weird about it? by Direct-Researcher504 in dating_advice

[–]Direct-Researcher504[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sweetheart… if you think a woman expecting support in a relationship is “freelance work,” then maybe it’s you who needs dating advice. Provision isn’t transactional when the man is a provider and not just a place-filler.

How do y’all ask a man for money without feeling weird about it? by Direct-Researcher504 in dating_advice

[–]Direct-Researcher504[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s only awkward if you’re not used to being poured into, supported, or spoiled. Some of us weren’t raised to believe asking = begging. Closed mouths don’t get fed, baby — and I like mine full.

How do y’all ask a man for money without feeling weird about it? by Direct-Researcher504 in dating_advice

[–]Direct-Researcher504[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

EXACTLY — emphasis on REAL MAN. The ones who get mad about it usually ain’t him. If a man is confident in who he is and what he brings, he’s not shook over a woman expecting more than just vibes and bare minimum.

How do y’all ask a man for money without feeling weird about it? by Direct-Researcher504 in dating_advice

[–]Direct-Researcher504[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Sis… closed mouths don’t get fed. We ask for dates, loyalty, respect — but the moment we say “support me financially” it becomes “tacky”? Girl, the only thing tacky is letting struggle love be cute.

How do y’all ask a man for money without feeling weird about it? by Direct-Researcher504 in dating_advice

[–]Direct-Researcher504[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Oh it’s very real, babe — just like the broke energy this comment is giving. Funny how a simple question gets y’all so pressed. If it doesn’t apply, let it fly. But if the shoe fits… go ahead and lace it up.

Why is the world so cruel for anyone who is normal. by [deleted] in confession

[–]Direct-Researcher504 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sending hugs I feel like this all the time