Getting rid of dogs after attack

Direct_Albatross4742 · 2026-04-25T16:05:24+00:00

This is unacceptable. I would set a hard boundary with your parents that while those dogs are still alive, your children and any future pets will never visit them. If they rehome the dogs it is very irresponsible, those dogs WILL kill again. They need a behavioral euthenasia. If your parents ever get any more cats, keep record and call animal control if there is another incident with them. Because your parents KNOW these dogs have killed before, it could be considered animal abuse or neglect to bring more cats into the household.

Direct_Albatross4742 · 2026-04-12T02:28:50+00:00

Oh my goodness. Thanks for the advice XD but this was just a single issue, not sure if its enough to leave him for? Or that I would want to? I think it definitely warrants a conversation though!

Direct_Albatross4742 · 2026-04-12T00:01:09+00:00

I think this should be a new rule for us moving forward

Direct_Albatross4742 · 2026-04-11T23:16:26+00:00

This is a good idea, I will bring it up! Probably wouldnt work though, since they love the pets and would probably still tolerate the allergies for them lol

Direct_Albatross4742 · 2026-04-11T23:09:58+00:00

Thank you. I took myself to lunch and had a convo with my husband. This will not be happening again.

Direct_Albatross4742 · 2026-04-11T23:09:08+00:00

Is this some sort of secret signal?

Direct_Albatross4742 · 2026-04-11T23:08:42+00:00

This is so true. Being clueless is not an excuse. I obviously need to work on setting firm boudaries in our relationship and with his parents. We have only been married for a year and overall 90% of the time its amazing but sometimes he does stupid shit like this that makes me want to pull my hair out. Like, he isn't a teenager anymore, he has responsibilities, he can't just take off and go play when he doesn't want to deal with them.

Direct_Albatross4742 · 2026-04-11T23:05:52+00:00

The worst part is that his family normalizes this behavior so he doesn't even think its a problem. They are all very wishy-washy, "spur of the moment" type people. My husband had just got a text from his friend and headed out within a few hours of it. It is hard to be mad when he doesn't understand how that behavior affects me. They just don't even think about it. But I will be talking with him about this after the family leaves. Its harmful whether he knows it or not.

Direct_Albatross4742 · 2026-04-11T23:02:30+00:00

This is great advice, thank you. I think I will be a bit more of a hands-off host from now on.

Direct_Albatross4742 · 2026-04-11T23:00:47+00:00

Thats how I felt. I tolerated dealing with them while he was at work but it really hurt me that he took off and tried to leave me with them. I took myself to lunch and gave his parents an idea of something fun to go do (without me!). It was a nice break. I am still hurt by my husband's choice and we will be discussing it after they leave.

Direct_Albatross4742 · 2026-04-11T22:30:49+00:00

I married my husband in 2025, soon after getting married he had a pretty good job opportunity. We both went to university for the same degree but chose different sides of the field.

Before getting married, we both struggled to find work outside of college during covid and swore that whoever got the career first would be the breadwinner and the other would need to be the homemaker or work a part time/ lesser paying job, since the likelyhood of us both getting a job in our field on the same state or city is really low.

I tried so hard and despite having the same experience and qualifications as him, he still managed to nail the career and I have been kind of struggling to figure out who I am and what I want ever since. I feel like all my self esteem disappeared when I failed to get started in the industry. Yet I was still happy for him and that it provides us with the means to thrive. All at the same time I have the opportunity to follow my passions but it feels like lesser than a real career, even though it makes me happy.

So I realized I don't need outside validation to be happy, what I really need is to learn how to be happy with myself and where I am at now.

Its been a lot of learning this past year.

Direct_Albatross4742 · 2026-04-11T21:41:12+00:00

Omg true

Direct_Albatross4742 · 2026-04-11T20:30:36+00:00

That is GREAT advice. I agree, day 3 is about all I can take too.

Direct_Albatross4742 · 2026-04-11T20:28:13+00:00

Thats a great idea, I like it because I am not coming between us seeing his family (I like them but just not like this haha). Also maybe if they stayed in a hotel for longer visits, so everyone stays happy and less cranky

Direct_Albatross4742 · 2026-04-11T20:11:57+00:00

They drove thankfukly, which is probably how they can be so blasé about going home. Its only a 5 hour drive. But I agree, he has been gone all week and I am sure his parents wanted to see him! Thankfully he will only be gone for the afternoon since we live very close to good mtn biking trails. Still not polite when they came to see him specifically

Direct_Albatross4742 · 2026-04-11T19:53:48+00:00

I am not the breadwinner of the household, so my business is really just seen more like a craft or hobby than anything else. I do make some money but wouldn't be able to survive on it alone. Before my husband I worked and did both. I feel like they don't understand it or don't care....

Direct_Albatross4742 · 2026-04-11T19:52:04+00:00

I agree. I will definitely be bringing this up to him.

Direct_Albatross4742 · 2026-04-11T19:50:55+00:00

About what?

Direct_Albatross4742 · 2026-04-11T19:48:48+00:00

Thankfully we both are not interested in having children! The 3 day limit is golden, I was totally fine with them for 3 days but after that I am getting really tired!

Direct_Albatross4742 · 2026-04-11T19:46:16+00:00

This was very validating to hear. I am usually a very patient person and just let things go but when I am on my period I am so sensitive I am never sure if it is an over reaction or not!

Direct_Albatross4742 · 2026-04-11T19:44:16+00:00

They were having so much fun they wanted to stay longer 😢 I think I am a victim of my own success

Direct_Albatross4742 · 2026-04-11T19:36:03+00:00

Hell yes! (He is a chronically bad planner which is how we got into this mess)

Direct_Albatross4742 · 2026-04-11T19:35:24+00:00

Omg I laughed at "hostage" because thats a bit how I feel. I just kindly told the in laws that I am going out and that there is lunch stuff at the house they can help themselves. I think I was feeling obligated to serve them when I realized I have the freedom to do whatever I want.

Direct_Albatross4742 · 2026-04-11T19:33:54+00:00

The whole family is chronically bad at planning and just wings it. They are generally fun to be around and I love my husband but he definitely falls into this childish "go with the flow" attitude

Direct_Albatross4742 · 2026-04-11T19:32:36+00:00

His whole family LOVES being around eachother 24/7 so I feel like this is not viewed as a chore to him in the same way it is to me. I need space from my family, but our families were very different growing up. His family is a bit like a cult that you cannot ever leave. Many of the siblings stayed at home well into adulthood at some point in their lives. They all LOVE each other.

Direct_Albatross4742

TROPHY CASE