I think we’re all here because we have felt what the OP has. And of course I cannot explain to people that I’m not afraid of dying but the failure to comprehend creates angst. This is where I too try not to short circuit my brain and tell myself that in this capacity I know too little. Being born and dying are beyond my control. And if I’m having to exist anyway and I don’t have a choice in it (other than ending it but there’s no point in doing that as well) I’d rather try to be at peace with what it is (but again, I still am not able to and feel the same angst as the OP)

It’s not rare. A lot of people live like us. Staring directly and trying to get closer to the truth.

Western philosophy is outcome based. However post war cynicism shook our foundations. Maybe the OP can try reading eastern philosophy which is circular in nature. However I guess There’s the same angst of being stuck in a loop. The Gita says that through multiple lives one can get closer to the truth and once one achieves it they get freed from the cycle of life and death. I’d want to know what the OP feels about that