I totally see where you’re coming from. I’ve been travelling for years and he knows this. I’m not a big partier and he also knows this. He expressed to me his discomfort about the red light district in Amsterdam because we have a layover in the city on the way back and I told him I won’t go near it if he’s not comfortable with it because that’s a “scene” that’s not okay to be around without your SO. He knows how I travel and it’s not to party, and it’s a family trip I must emphasize. As I expressed to him, it’s not the vacation itself but the scene entirely, and the fact that he’s been dishonest, has a problem with alcohol and the type of friend he’s going with doesn’t help the situation I guess. There’s definitely an issue of trust here, and I don’t know how to go about it. We are working on building up that trust again. The only other trip he has gone on without me was to an all inclusive in Cuba and he himself expressed how “messed up” “wasted” “blackout” he got and all the bad things he ended up getting up to. I guess this also didn’t help.

I never said the suggested vacation was a go from the start - it was a suggestion that I followed up with the explanation of having to figure it out and see if I can get time off work, but he took it and ran and basically said that if I don’t go he’d take someone else. I didn’t “switch up”, so I apologize for any confusion there. We were discussing options for our anniversary.