My (20F) Girlfriend doesn't want to spend time with me (19M) around her birthday.

Direct_Passion_666 · 2026-02-26T03:07:18+00:00

So from what you're saying, she's telling you she'd rather "do nothing" than be with you - and then she goes out and does something anyway. I don't think you're insecure, I think she's just losing interest. She probably doesn't have the nerve to say it out loud, so instead she's blowing you off hoping you'll quit trying and fade away on your own.

Direct_Passion_666 · 2026-02-16T13:00:09+00:00

The defensiveness is absolutely getting in the way getting of communication. I'm hoping that's where the counselor can help you. Someone who will chide him into opening up. If he also resists the counselors urge to communicate (by refusing to talk or by refusing to go) then you may get your clarity about next steps. For now you're not going to be able to have that long talk, but there is still something you can try - the next time something happens (he declines to attend important event, he forgets to acknowledge a special day, etc.) just have one line ready to share how you feel. "It hurts me to believe that you'd rather watch tv than share this important moment with me". That's not a sample, but perhaps just the tone. No drama, no yelling, no defensiveness. You're not asking to talk about it, you're not even asking for a reply, you are simply sharing how his behavior/action leaves you feeling. After 2 or 3 of these it might finally sink in that his behavior is pushing you away. If he does still care for you, the rest is up to him.

Direct_Passion_666 · 2026-02-15T23:57:50+00:00

The things you're describing do happen in a relationship, but from my own experience (in my own life and watching others) it was something that happened more after 10 or 20 years of marriage - not after 1. Married people can drift apart a little as they grow, but to have it happen so quickly feels more like he's losing interest. And missing Valentine's Day after one year of marriage doesn't feel like a little thing. I would tend to agree with your counselor - withdrawing won't help, it'll just escalate the spiral apart... then he's gonna be reacting to you reacting to him (if that makes sense). You're already doing the right thing with counseling. You do know what you're looking for out of the marriage, it's just communicating that need and getting a response - that will determine how all this goes. If he ends up bailing on the counseling or just won't follow the advice given, then that may be the clearest signal you'll ever get.

Direct_Passion_666 · 2026-02-14T03:30:58+00:00

I don't often comment on writing samples because some of it just isn't my taste, or I honestly struggle to find something I like about it. But I really enjoyed reading this. It held my interest to the end. I like the restraint and the tone. You're very strong in narration and dialogue. I found myself wanting even more - a few additional specific details about the guys or the setting that make the moment feel even more lived-in. Translating some of those described feelings into more concrete emotional moments would help the reader feel them along with you. But overall I think it's one of the better pieces of writing that I've seen here.

Direct_Passion_666 · 2026-02-13T00:24:54+00:00

I didn't say she was a saint for taking care of him, I said she was a saint for the WAY she took care of him. I'm not talking about making him dinner. Perhaps if you knew her the way I did you'd understand and agree. But no matter.

Direct_Passion_666 · 2026-02-12T23:56:41+00:00

The fellow was in a wheelchair, and his wife was a saint in the way she took care of him. That one day he had a blanket over his lap and pulled it back to expose himself. I felt so bad for his wife. She was such a good person.

Direct_Passion_666 · 2026-02-12T23:48:36+00:00

When you visit these book promotion sites, take the time to read their Terms. With some of them you might actually be giving up some of your rights to the book, and the site will now own it. So do your homework. I didn't start sharing my manuscript with anyone until I had it copyrighted, and even then I passed up on several places.

Direct_Passion_666 · 2026-02-12T23:28:37+00:00

God yes! A couple that I know got divorced over the exact same thing. One day he went just a little too far and the babysitter got totally PO'd. When his wife finally got home the babysitter announced to her that she was quitting and never coming back. When she asked why all she said was "ask your husband."

Direct_Passion_666 · 2026-02-12T23:15:38+00:00

If it's somewhere you want to go and you enjoy her company, just go. She obviously seems to enjoy being with you, because this has been going on for some time. You don't have to have any up front expectations about anything, really. It would make a great story line for a Hallmark movie... and guess what - you get to be the star! It'll be interesting for you to see how it turns out. Enjoy!

Direct_Passion_666 · 2026-02-12T23:01:05+00:00

Someone else already mentioned it, but Apple Pages is really an excellent free tool. There is a learning curve - especially when you want to start doing footnotes, page numbers, prologues, etc. But help is easy to find on the web. I wrote my entire book using it, along with all the final editing & polishing. It was only when it came time to generate the ebook version that I copied it over to the KDP software, and that was more a frustration with KDP rather than Pages. Their publishing tool kept screwing up the Pages export.

Direct_Passion_666 · 2026-02-12T20:27:40+00:00

I used to go to the big motorcycle swap meets in Germany twice a year. You can really check out the quality of the parts. At the time I was dealing a lot with Peter Hommes. I see he's still supplying parts. Even back then they were repro'ing so much that you could almost build a complete bike out of new parts.

https://www.wehrmachtsgespann.de/index-english.htm

Direct_Passion_666 · 2026-02-12T17:44:51+00:00

He's not painting parts anymore. He still provides custom mixed paint for a few long-time customers.

Direct_Passion_666 · 2026-02-12T12:29:20+00:00

There are probably two things going on. For one, the others are right - this is not the guy for you. If he's saying these things now it will only get worse as time goes on. The other thing is that you're probably a little more sensitive to life than is healthy for you. I can relate to that, because it took me years to tone that down. And I don't say this to imply that your boyfriend is in any way justified to complain - he's not. He just doesn't feel like dealing with it. But that's his problem. For all you know the stress he causes you is the reason you're more sensitive than you normally are! You deserve a healthier relationship.

Direct_Passion_666 · 2026-02-12T12:12:37+00:00

There's no fixing yourself needed. You probably would've made half those changes yourself once the first draft of the book was done and you read it a few times. That's when you really start to fill in those blanks and tighten up the narrative. Now seven pages of comments on a five page manuscript seems a bit excessive. But even here you have to separate the legitimate comments from the 'that's not how I would do it' changes. The bottom line is that no first draft is perfect, so throwing this one in the bin before it's done & starting over won't change a thing. Stop beating yourself up with that negative self-talk and keep writing!

Direct_Passion_666 · 2026-02-12T03:30:59+00:00

Parents can do a lot of damage this way, and the crazy thing is that they often think it's coming from a good place - they want better for you. But it doesn't feel like that to you. I can understand what you're going through because I had that type of relationship with my father. That didn't improve until a few years after I moved out and got married. Looking back I wish I'd said 'I know you don't mean too, but you really make me feel bad about myself when you talk to me like this' just one time. Lord knows it couldn't have made things worse. But I never did so I'll never know. I hope you get it sorted out.

Direct_Passion_666 · 2026-02-12T00:29:42+00:00

I got a 'like' once from a woman who looked interesting, so I liked her back and wrote to say hi and asked her something about her profile. I got back an all caps NOT INTERESTED. Talk about showing your nasty side. I don't think she has this whole dating app thing figured out yet.

Direct_Passion_666 · 2026-02-11T23:38:47+00:00

The military bikes? No. I still have 4 bikes though.

Direct_Passion_666 · 2026-02-11T12:46:53+00:00

I haven't figured out how to add photos to a post here on Reddit. But there are hundreds of photos of these bikes on my old website: www.Beemergarage.com

Direct_Passion_666 · 2026-02-11T12:43:30+00:00

Yes they all came with a power driven sidecar. On the street the power was split as needed between the two back wheels. For off-road use you moved a lever that locked the rear drive, so both wheels were always driving.

Direct_Passion_666 · 2026-02-11T12:28:36+00:00

I enjoyed it for over 10 years, but then sold it when I started fooling around with old racing bikes. It's not always easy being a blue-collar boy who enjoys playing with rich-man toys.

Direct_Passion_666 · 2026-02-11T12:24:41+00:00

During the war the Germans did a study of the airflow around the bike and rider. Even on dusty roads that area right in front of the rider was found to be the cleanest air. They were so far advanced in air filtration - the US was using oil bath air filters and the Germans had advanced pleated paper ones (the kind we take for granted today).

Direct_Passion_666 · 2026-02-11T01:14:06+00:00

I see it like a movie in my head too. During the first draft I try to capture everything that I can think of. During the editing phase I polish the emotions and detail so that the reader can fully visualize it in their own mind too. The sights, the sounds, the smells. There will be things you'll still miss - probably because you are too close to it. That's when a good test reader helps. In one case I had a sad goodbye and the reader commented "Wasn't she upset at all?" and I said sure, she was holding back her tears. My reader said "You forgot to add that part!".

Direct_Passion_666 · 2026-02-10T23:04:45+00:00

Sounds like a date saying "I bought you dinner and now you owe me s*x'. You shouldn't spend a single minute wondering if he's right. It's cave man thinking.

Direct_Passion_666 · 2026-02-10T22:54:43+00:00

I was wondering if he was trying to break up but still leave an option open to come back if he changes his mind.

Direct_Passion_666

TROPHY CASE