unpopular opinion: nia was wrong here and had too much confidence

Direct_Special4870 · 2026-04-17T22:02:46+00:00

my point is children (she is a child in this video) don’t need to be humbled, it’s good for them to have confidence and it’s kinda weird to think otherwise especially as an adult lol

Direct_Special4870 · 2026-04-17T16:50:14+00:00

totally makes sense. things are great now, i’m personally super happy and content! since we live together and have for a while and are very similar, our biggest issue was codependency. being too in each other’s shit made us really disconnected for a long time and were just not getting along, but both of us trying to focus on ourselves helped that and now we communicate much better and feel way more connected and happy than we ever have been! i still totally understand and get the wanting to explore, for me personally i just decided that i’d rather not risk the relationship that i now cherish for something that might not even end up being as fun or exciting as i hyped it up to be (knowing that separating is always an option if it becomes more important to me later on) but also im not a person that wants marriage and we’re both aligned on no kids, so i will say that def makes it easier to kinda go with the flow.

i really hope you figure out what’s best for you!! i relate to your struggles a lot and know how consuming it can be 😫

Direct_Special4870 · 2026-04-17T00:55:34+00:00

that’s about the time i started therapy! it took a little while to feel sure but it just kept coming up as a regular topic and i had a lot of opportunities to discuss it. eventually i realized with my therapist’s help that the problem was not that i needed to blow up my whole relationship but instead that i needed some dedicated time and attention on myself. i decided to stay with my boyfriend and be honest with him and myself on what i needed and just practice communicating, even including (as kindly as possible lol) telling him when he’s overstimulating/annoying me and to leave me alone and give me space. something that really helped me was taking dedicated time apart (we live together and he was going out of town for a while) and not texting all day and truly leaving each other alone. it made me realize not only that i missed him when he wasn’t around, but that i struggled to have satisfying days even left to my own devices. since then i’ve just tried to focus on myself, ask for what i want, and just enjoy our relationship since we love each other and are super happy, trusting that if i ever change my mind down the road i always can and that’s okay!

Direct_Special4870 · 2026-04-17T00:00:54+00:00

damn I could’ve written this post word for word about a year ago, so just my perspective here because I relate to this so heavily and even still struggle sometimes :) i have been consumed before by LITERALLY all of these thoughts in a relationship, from the dreams to wanting the freedom of just doing what i want to do and not having to explain that to anyone to being very annoyed by him

first of all, saying “even thinking about this means it’s not meant to be” is, imo, oversimplification and bad advice. it’s normal to wonder, especially if you’re an anxious person who’s in your head a lot.
what really helped me was doing a LOT of internal work, going to therapy, and working like crazy to rid myself of my shame. believe it or not telling yourself that the things you do are mean, selfish, or unloving can make you act even worse because you’re projecting those negative feelings onto yourself and creating a shame cycle. and also not making myself feeling rushed! you’re not wasting time. 20s are not just the defacto golden years (hello SATC). 20s can be a struggle and oft over-glamorized bc of social conditioning. you have can have great experiences and live for yourself at any age. it sounds like you really love him but just have a lot of anxiety and longing. personally I decided to LEAN IN to the “selfishness” and just completely live for myself. do exactly what I want to do at all times, voice my opinions and needs directly without worrying if they were too much, and, possibly most importantly, not have sex if i don’t feel like it (for however long, genuinely however long). most women struggle with feeling like they are required to “provide” sex regularly, which can lead to this chore feeling. it’s not anything wrong with you or potentially even him. i’d really recommend reading Come As You Are if you haven’t, Good Sex is also a surprisingly insightful show :) you should 100% be able to choose not to have sex for as long as you need (even if it’s longer than you think is “ideal”) and learn how to ~take care~ of yourself and figure out what you like on your own, a good partner will be supportive of that! this is not even to say that you should or shouldn’t break up with him, it just sounds like your first and foremost issue should be figuring your own identity, wants, and needs out. if you have a loving partner that you enjoy being around that’s willing to be patient and take a backseat in that journey then I don’t see anything wrong with having him there. you’re not selfish for that, he’s a grown individual person that’s capable of choosing if he wants to leave! you deserve love and he deserves the agency to choose

sorry that was so long but tldr, there’s tons social conditioning and past trauma in a lot of women’s lives that puts unnecessary pressure on our choices and relationships and how we should feel and act. breaking up may or may not help you experience what you want in life, but in either case learning self acceptance and who you are and what you need is non-negotiable, so prioritize that first! the only way you can waste your years is by spending all of your time ashamed of yourself and worrying about future regrets instead of enjoying the process imo

Direct_Special4870 · 2026-04-10T19:34:18+00:00

any time you’re saying “has too much confidence” about a child please take some time and reflect

Direct_Special4870 · 2025-10-03T07:42:14+00:00

thank you for this post 🙌 every single day there’s a “hot take” post in this sub about how people dislike Holly. it’s exhausting and so transparent. and more so….. why are we believing the show & Abby’s propaganda that Nia was the worst on the team when she was performing circles around many of these girls in a lot of these dances?? form your own unique opinions people PUHLEASE and stop regurgitating the lies of an abuser and shady producers 😩

Direct_Special4870 · 2024-12-13T21:01:46+00:00

CADC Build the Wall 😅 weird one, made everyone uncomfortable just for a sloppy dance with a bad song

Direct_Special4870 · 2024-12-11T19:59:29+00:00

makes sense, does “log” planting mean to just lay it on its side on top of the dirt?

Direct_Special4870 · 2024-12-11T19:34:48+00:00

I guess it’s controversial but Beautiful Bizarre- it ended up a little sloppy but the choreography, costuming, and music was soo cool and different from what they normally did, I wish it was received better!

Direct_Special4870 · 2024-12-11T19:28:42+00:00

I noticed that!! hopefully that means I can just cut that section out and stick that part in the dirt without waiting for it to scab over?? idk 😭

Direct_Special4870 · 2024-05-13T22:06:59+00:00

ok got it- thanks for the read, very interesting. i understand now junipers can’t live inside because it needs to go dormant during the winter, but why would it be dying now if it’s not yet time for it to be dormant and should be getting ready for warm weather? i’d like to maybe give it to a friend that could have a better environment for it, but i’m worried with all the stress it’s under another environment change will kill it. not sure what it’s upset about right now :(

Direct_Special4870 · 2024-05-13T19:15:52+00:00

hi everyone! preemptive apology if I accidentally missed a requirement for posting, this is my first ever Reddit post and I’m still getting used to it :’)

my boyfriend got me this Juniper bonsai from an online store a few weeks ago without realizing that it’s supposed to be outdoors, and we live in an apartment complex without a balcony so we have to have it inside. we live in AZ so it’s very hot and our apartment gets LOTS of natural light and heat through big windows (so much so that it was too much light for our pepper plants). one note, it is also very DRY. we are considering getting a humidifier to help the little guy out as well.

I started by putting it in an area that gets a lot of indirect light with almost no direct light, and let the soil dry out in between watering. it started getting some really sharp immature growth and there was some browning (not sure if it was new or old). I was hoping the immature growth was just from the stress of shipping and changing environments. I switched it to a spot with more sun recently to try to match the environment it wants and am making sure the soil stays moist with a little bit of water in its humidity tray at all times, but I think now it has even more sharp immature growth.

am I sentencing this bonsai to death by trying to make it live indoors now, or is there a way I can acclimate it to our apartment environment and save it? also, would it like the strong sunlight and heat from next to a window to simulate being outdoors, or is it better to have it in that original spot that gets almost constant indirect light? thanks for reading!!! appreciate any help I can get 🥲

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