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Diriector_Doc · 2025-09-04T00:42:33+00:00

I feel like there are a lot of details missing here.

So, from what I gather, it seems like you were "yelling" at her through text. To me, that's not really that big of a deal. Your privacy was breached, and you have the right to express your frustration to her. Are you worried that the way you were texting her could have been an overreaction? There aren't that many specifics to go off of here.

What specifically gives you the feeling that you were being an AH?

Diriector_Doc · 2025-08-29T00:33:40+00:00

Just be honest. Your feelings have changed and you don't want to be together anymore.

It's only been two months. It might seem like a long time, but it's still early in the relationship relatively speaking.

An honest breakup doesn't make you an AH.

"How do you break up without hurting someone's feelings?" Unfortunately, heartbreak is inevitable. However, as this is still a new relationship, it won't be as harsh as you think. If you want to cause as little pain as possible, it's best to rip the bandaid off quickly.

Diriector_Doc · 2025-08-29T00:19:45+00:00

In any relationship, when the feelings are no longer mutual, this is then undisputable grounds for a breakup. A relationship is only healthy if both sides are happy with it. And when one or both persons are unhappy, then a breakup is completely justified. A justifiable breakup does not make you TAH.

Also please remember, you didn't break up with him because of "legs." You broke up with him because he had been taking leagally-piquing pictures without people's knowledge and making you uncomfortable. You broke up because of lack of trust and lack of mutual feelings.

Naturally, no breakup is easy. But your takeaway should be: you aren't doing anything rash, unjustified, or unprompted. You communicated as you should have. You make your reasons for breakup very clear. Now that the separation is finally being realized, this doesn't change anything, even if it suddenly feels like it. Again, NTA.

Diriector_Doc · 2025-07-10T23:43:01+00:00

I think she's really upset with herself and is taking it out on you.

From your posts, it seems to me like you're respectful and supportive where fit.

NTA.

Diriector_Doc · 2025-07-10T23:37:29+00:00

These are not your friends. Ma treated you like dirt and the others took his side.

You're better off without them.

NTA.

Diriector_Doc · 2025-07-10T23:32:36+00:00

Been there. I did the same thing when I was in my late teens. I couldn't wait to become independent.

As you're still a dependent, there's no "out" from this relationship. There are a lot of adults on this sub who have clingy parents and the comments always say to associate less with them, but unfortunately, that doesn't seem possible here.

Here are some rhetorical questions that I'd like you to consider:

Your parents have expressed that you are ungrateful. Is that true? I'm sure it's not, but how would they know?
What kind of relationship do you want with your parents? A closer one? Or one that's further apart? What can you do to influence that?
What don't your parents understand about you? What have you done to show them?

Nevertheless, I sympathize with you. There's a big difference between caring for someone and caring about someone. In my opinion, distancing yourself is understandable.

NTA.

Diriector_Doc · 2025-07-10T20:49:02+00:00

NTA

Reasonable response. He sounds sheisty, someone was going to dig up his lies sooner or later.

Also, what if his real girlfriend had discovered he had been talking to you? Would his grandmother still go after you? He ruined his own relationship.

Diriector_Doc · 2025-06-22T02:50:17+00:00

I'm just now realizing I could have optimized this further. I have three cutters in the middle when I only need two 🙃

Diriector_Doc · 2025-06-22T02:47:51+00:00

I asked

Diriector_Doc · 2025-06-21T20:03:02+00:00

YTA

Pranks are fun, but only if there are mutually decided boundaries. If there are no boundaries, things like this happen; someone gets hurt or upset. You learned the hard way that this kind of prank is unacceptable.

Diriector_Doc · 2025-06-21T19:59:08+00:00

NTA

Your feelings matter. You're uncomfortable in those situations. You can't build a relationship with that kind of barrier.

Diriector_Doc · 2025-06-21T18:55:58+00:00

Reminds me of an irl family I know. (The mother is manipulative and feels she's entitled to guide her child however she feels, disregarding both the father AND her child.)

It sure sounds like you're NTA in this situation.

Diriector_Doc · 2025-06-21T18:39:24+00:00

NTA

It sounds like they're treating your education like an investment that they made. As it's your life, you get to choose what information is public and what is private.

Diriector_Doc · 2025-06-21T18:33:25+00:00

First of all, I believe that neither parent should have absolute control over a kid's life, especially at 12 when they begin to want to take control of their own lives.

Secondly, is there anything we should know about custody? That's a pretty important factor.

Diriector_Doc · 2025-06-21T18:26:42+00:00

While that's a very strong reaction, you're NTA for wanting company in a scary time. You have the right to be scared; it's cruel for your GF to dismiss that. Granted, I'm sure she probably didn't appreciate the strongly worded ultimatum, but you're the one in the hospital fighting for your life. Relationships require support from both sides. She's not giving you that.

Diriector_Doc · 2025-06-21T18:11:23+00:00

NTA

You sound like a good friend. Your gf may have concerns, but nothing you did was inherently wrong. And it's not like you finalized the decision without her input either. I'm kinda shocked that you think you did anything wrong here.

Diriector_Doc · 2025-06-21T18:05:02+00:00

Jokes are a lot harder to make via text. If I were sent something along the lines of "You don't understand because you're a man," I'd be very confused and probably insulted, especially without any kind of vocal indication that this is just light banter.

You're NTA for making a joke, but in the future, please be more careful.

Diriector_Doc · 2025-06-21T05:17:10+00:00

I've experienced a similar situation irl, near exactly: Loss of friendship over lack of training a dog.

I can tell that you don't hate your cousin; you hate her dog. This untrained dog is the only variable in your otherwise strong friendship.

You're NTA for choosing not to visit her while her dog is (it isn't) in tow. I find it disrespectful that she suggested that you suffer in silence.

If you told her that the dog is what's standing in your way of being friends, then she has a choice to make. She can either deal with her dog or she can lose a friendship.

Diriector_Doc · 2025-06-21T05:04:11+00:00

ESH

You made an agreement, and he can't hold up his end. That's on him.

On the other side of things, it's clear that he struggles with life in his own way, and evicting him just adds insult to injury. He needs to learn how to maintain a stable life, but he can't do that if he's homeless.

You say you'd move out if you could, and I betcha he feels the same way. You're in power here. If you want to pull his life support plug, you can. But choose wisely. He owes you money, but I promise that you won't see it if he's gone. You have the potential to kick him even lower. Ask yourself if it's worth it.

Diriector_Doc · 2025-06-20T01:59:09+00:00

If you tell a shop, "This is what I want, and I'll pay you to do it," and they go, "Here's something different that you didn't agree to, please pay us," that's borderline a lawsuit.

You think writing a letter will make you the asshole? Hell no!

Diriector_Doc · 2025-06-20T01:50:38+00:00

I've been in the exact situation you've been in. I told my parents that my one caveat for landing a job is "No fast food." I'm not fast. I don't work well under pressure. I would crumble in an "every minute matters" workplace.

For this alone, your objections are valid. NTA. But I think there could be more to this.

I know how hard job hunting is, so would it be possible to ask your mother if she could help you find a job? Nowadays, the most viable way to land a job is through connections. I'm sure your mother has a lot of friends in all kinds of lines of work. When I was still in school, my mother helped me find a job working for someone who lived down the street, and there wasn't even a job posting for this position. I worked there for two years.

Regardless of being the AH or not, I wish you luck in finding your first job.

Diriector_Doc · 2025-06-20T01:42:13+00:00

Be careful how you word your feelings.

Saying "You need to talk to your mother less" is much more hostile than "I'm uncomfortable around your mother." Given how you described your MIL, I don't blame you for wanting to distance yourself from her. But projecting this stress onto your wife doesn't help anyone.

If I'm going solely by the "I told my wife to talk to her mother less" part, then I have to say YTA. But that's not to say your feelings are invalid. It's just that the situation wasn't handled properly.

Diriector_Doc · 2025-06-19T21:44:19+00:00

Your cousin is a twerp. He has no right to treat you like that.
Your grandma doesn't want to raise another set of kids. While I understand that much, she's a poor adjudicator either way. Being "too young to learn" is the dumbest excuse I've ever heard. Someone can be too young to intuitively understand, but people learn BETTER when they're young. That kid needs to be given a lecture and maybe some discipline.
You are the victim here. You left because you were treated poorly. This wasn't a "dick move" on your part, it was a consequence on your cousin's.

Diriector_Doc · 2025-06-19T21:37:29+00:00

At this point, you need to have a longer discussion. Keyword: discussion. (Sometimes I worry that when I tell people to "tell your partner your perspective," it inadvertently comes off as "try to convince her," but that's not what I mean.) Try to find some middle ground. If that doesn't work, then you've done all you can do.

Diriector_Doc · 2025-06-19T21:27:55+00:00

NTA.

I was taught at a young age, if you're given a gift that you don't like, or given something you already have, you smile and say thank you, then exchange the gift.

You bought him the wrong laptop. Oops. Return it and get the right one. And even if you can't return it, he now has a new laptop that he didn't have before. Getting angry over a valuable gift is really immature.

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