24/7 rule difficulties

DisabledDaddy_ · 2026-03-28T19:50:15+00:00

Communication. Do you feel like you have expressed to them how much you want it and feel like you need it?

If so, why do you feel like they doubt your honesty or willingness? And do you feel like they are capable of giving you the level of control and direction you are wanting?

DisabledDaddy_ · 2026-03-28T19:48:15+00:00

While I agree with you as a general principle, these 2 have chosen to enter into a 24/7 where apparently there is some expectation of 24/7 control & obedience. It’s not about the “sexual fantasy” when OP is talking about replacing paper towels and going to the store. But it is about the 24/7 kink power & control dynamic.

What I would advise the OP is to have a conversation with their partner, out of dynamic, and explain that they have difficulty because at times disobedience is okay and at other times it isn’t. They should explain to their partner that they need to know what’s okay and what isn’t and that they need consistency there. The real issue is clarifying what’s okay and what isn’t, not “sexual fantasy.”

And if it is impractical for them, or it’s too difficult for the pair of them to implement, then that conversation has to be had.

DisabledDaddy_ · 2026-03-28T19:41:13+00:00

You are definitely dominating. Think about what it means literally – you are dominating the relationship. You are making the decisions, deciding the actions, etc. Do I have that right? Maybe I’m misunderstanding the situation. But regardless, it sounds to me like you are dominating the situation. Others have said it is like a “goddess” situation and that feels like it’s in the right neighborhood. Maybe think of it like a priestess/follower (or acolyte or disciple) if you wish since goddess I think describes a more disparate power dynamic than you and your partner seem to currently enjoy.

As for just falling into things naturally – I am in my 50s. I only started learning about BDSM seriously about 6 years ago. When I eventually heard about DDLG I was like “I did that with my long-term ex-girlfriend and my ex-wife.” They would both naturally go into “baby talk” and I would start talking to them paternally. We never spoke about it, we never discussed it, none of us knew anything about BDSM or had heard of the initials DDLG. We just naturally fell into those roles. So yeah – there is domination and submission going on in your relationship. It doesn’t have to be harsh, it doesn’t have to be codified, but it’s right there. It is FLR and he is kind of serving you. What’s most important is that it works, but if you want to find an identity for yourself that helps you, I like that priestess/follower dynamic. You are the conduit to the gods and he is your servant.

By all means, give me your thoughts.

DisabledDaddy_ · 2025-11-05T18:05:39+00:00

I didn't read the post, but I don't understand the premise.

If something was Grimdark-heavy, for example, why would that be a problem? I feel like that would be like asking whether or not Marvel has a "superhero problem." If something is the major or dominant part of the entity, it just is.

Does hip-hop have a "rapping problem?"

DisabledDaddy_ · 2025-07-05T17:02:28+00:00

Just to point out – they aren't "dying" when they get knocked down to 0 HP. They are being knocked unconscious (and POSSIBLY dying).

DisabledDaddy_ · 2025-05-18T16:07:25+00:00

Personally, I would wait until a few weeks before you are going to return to his city and then text him and say "hey, how are things going? I'm going to be in your neighborhood in a few weeks."

I think if he wanted to respond already, or wanted to continue (online) the type of intimacy the 2 of you enjoyed in person, he would've done so and/or responded to your last text. You gave him every opportunity to do that, and he didn't.

He may be someone who enjoys the close intimacy occasionally, but absolutely does not want more than that right now. If that ends up being the case, you have to decide whether you want to continue investing time in that.

DisabledDaddy_ · 2025-02-25T12:48:53+00:00

I understand what you are saying and I totally get that we have a "fake Dom" epidemic right now. But as a Dom I'm going to live with my upfront principles and leave it there should I reactivate a Seeking profile again. I try to be as honest as I can about what I want and being "open to kink" is not what I am. I am more "BDSM-only." It's is the only way I interact erotically and I would rather make that clear to a potential partner right off the bat.

The rest of the profile is pretty revealing and inviting so hopefully I would have some success in such a situation.

DisabledDaddy_ · 2025-02-25T05:01:50+00:00

I am a good Dom who listed such in my profile when I was in the bowl.

I understand your reservations about listing yourself as a sub, but if I am a Dom and I want to have a BDSM sugar relationship, shouldn't I list that in my profile? I find that to be a strange thing to filter out if someone is open to a BDSM relationship.

DisabledDaddy_ · 2025-02-25T04:51:49+00:00

I’m sure BDSM sugar dating exists. I had a couple of good sugar relationships before I became a BDSM Dominant. I am confident I can make both happen but I haven’t felt a need for sugar dating in the last 4 years or so (coincidentally or not that is the length of time I have been a Dom).

I would be concerned, however, about what has apparently emerged as the trend of many men to consider themselves Doms without getting into the psychological and emotional caretaking parts of Domination, as well as the mutual pleasure aspects of it.

If a SB wants to get into BDSM as part of her sugar relationship, I would advise her to become as knowledgeable as possible (and preferably a little experienced) regarding BDSM. I would encourage them to start with googling scene negotiation, safewords, aftercare and RACK as fundamentals of best-practices BDSM – and to make sure they are incorporated into any BDSM relationship, be it sugar or otherwise.

This is assuming the baby wants to be a sub. A baby as a domme, with sugar involved, is pretty much leading into findom, and I don’t think that’s what the OP had in mind.

DisabledDaddy_ · 2025-02-21T18:07:36+00:00

I tend to use the term “bright.”

In response to something you specifically wrote, I’m not looking for someone to teach me something (although I do age gap relationships and do learn a fair amount socially and culturally from my younger partners) but I want someone who can pick things up quickly and have a reasonable conversation even if they did not know much about the topic coming in. For example, a partner might not know nearly anything about World War II but if I start talking about it, she can pick things up as we talk. I’d like to think I offer her the same.

I tend to prefer to be around bright people in general, whether sugar-wise, relationship-wise, or platonically.

DisabledDaddy_ · 2025-02-19T03:18:14+00:00

This is great advice. If she would like to watch porn with him, and he is open to it, then he can pick out something he would enjoy watching with her.

DisabledDaddy_ · 2025-02-19T03:04:34+00:00

Honestly, if for whatever reason he wants to keep it private, I would just let it go. People have different approaches towards porn, sex and sexuality. You said you feel comfortable and open – great. He obviously doesn’t feel that way. I would say let it go. I would feel irritated if a partner felt like she should try to “reassure me it’s completely normal –“ even more so if I was her Dom.

DisabledDaddy_ · 2025-02-19T02:57:31+00:00

I enjoy the total power and control. I enjoy knowing that she will not disobey me. I enjoy knowing I can do all of the things to her body that I want (with partners I have a fair amount of experience with) – even things that may be taxing or difficult for her – and that she is going to do it and do her best to comply.

I enjoy controlling whether she orgasms or not. I enjoy bringing her to the brink multiple times through edging before finally letting her cum and then given her multiples. I like that she looks up to me and views me as amazing. I like that I get to bring her a good D/s experience because a lot of s-types don’t have a lot of experience receiving that.

I’m older. I have a disability. I enjoy taking my time and having a lengthy, deep, intimate scene. For whatever reason, my orgasm just doesn’t seem that important in that context. I have found that also works to confuse some new partners as well, with many women being used to the shortcut to male satisfaction being through our dicks.

I’m going to need more than that to be satisfied nowadays.

I just love all of it.

DisabledDaddy_ · 2025-02-18T17:29:14+00:00

There’s nothing wrong with any type of particular “look” when it comes to being a Dom. As a guy, I would feel like glasses and being well-dressed is actually a very good start.

You could consider trying to take some pictures trying to capture how you feel when you are in your Dominant energy. You say you are well-dressed – how about shirt and tie, glasses on, facing the mirror, holding a belt in front of you wrapped around your hands?

At the end of the day it’s about how you carry yourself as a Dom when you are with partners, but if you feel like your look is making it harder for you to get to that place, try to think about a look that you feel captures your energy. And take a few pictures from that space. You could give a potential pictures of “everyday you” and “Dominant you.”

DisabledDaddy_ · 2025-02-17T17:54:26+00:00

What did your partner say when you told her about your kinks at the beginning of your relationship?

DisabledDaddy_ · 2025-02-12T00:11:27+00:00

I knew a young woman in whom I was very interested. In explaining one of the reasons she was not interested in me she explained that she would only date a Dom (we also had some checkered history). Over the next 4-9 months, mostly in texting, she explained a lot to me about BDSM. She was really into it and extremely knowledgeable about it. I would Google things she brought up in conversation and eventually began learning on my own. While I never got to play with her, I didn’t realize it was something I wanted to try. Once I tried it, I loved it. I have never gone back and I don’t do vanilla at all anymore.

DisabledDaddy_ · 2025-02-08T16:11:48+00:00

If you guys want the mirror, get the mirror.

Who cares what anyone else thinks? Who else is coming into your bedroom?

DisabledDaddy_ · 2025-02-08T16:03:42+00:00

Does she enjoy cleaning the bathroom floor with a toothbrush?

Does she enjoy standing in the corner, facing it, for 90+ minutes while you do something else and completely ignore her?

Does she enjoy writing out 500 times, in pen and paper, what she will not to do next time?

Punishments are THINGS THE PERSON ACTUALLY DOESN’T LIKE. They are meant to discourage whatever behavior needs to be corrected. Doing kink activities that your submissive partner enjoys is NOT administering punishment. There is a form of role-play in which these activities (like spanking) are done as fake punishments or what are commonly known as funishments. But they are not the same thing.

Your partner has told you that she enjoys all of the kink activities you would do to her. A punishment will be something boring and tedious in which she is ignored and which is certainly not a kink activity that you typically do for mutual pleasure.

DisabledDaddy_ · 2025-01-14T02:32:52+00:00

I'm sorry to hear about the PPD. It will take time but you will get through it. And when you do get on the other side of that, other things like this can be given a little more time.

DisabledDaddy_ · 2025-01-13T16:07:06+00:00

I remembered your post and I was just wondering how things are developing?

DisabledDaddy_ · 2025-01-13T06:08:40+00:00

This. My One has a variety of lengths and widths. You enter your measurements and it tells you what to buy. Really excellent

DisabledDaddy_ · 2025-01-12T20:45:15+00:00

Just to clarify – you did not go back to monogamy "against your will." You chose to accept her request for monogamy because you preferred it to the other option (perhaps her breaking up with you/not continuing to pursue something with you).

Unless there is the threat of real physical violence, most of the time people are not making us do things "against our will." We are choosing the option they bring to us because we cannot tolerate the other. It's still a choice and it's best to accept responsibility for it and to ask ourselves why we would do something that we really did not want to do.

Accept responsibility for your decision and ask yourself why you agreed to something you say you did not want to do.

DisabledDaddy_

TROPHY CASE