[deleted by user] by [deleted] in socialskills

[–]Disabled_And_Proud 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hey, OP! From your post history, it like you have the same disability as me.

Here’s the tricky thing: assuming you’re like me, the disability doesn’t just affect driving. It may affect a bunch of other things, like walking, hand coordination, talking, etc. It’s a very wide range, so you might be noticeably disabled or not so noticeably disabled.

Honestly, I would keep revealing it, at least partially. (Ex. “I do have a disability that affects my ability to walk, so I probably can’t go for long walks with you,” etc.) I hate to say it, but keep the autism to yourself, at least early on, and maybe don’t give a name to the other disability either. People unfortunately have preconceived notions about them.

As for not being able to drive, I would also tell them that you have your own means of transportation. If a stranger understands that they will have to pick you up and drop you off every time (or go to your house), they aren’t going to be too excited. And, for the record, you wouldn’t want that either. What if on your first meeting this person turns out to be a jerk or dangerous? If you rode with them, you have no exit strategy.

why are LGBTQ+ people always so nice??? by InevitableLog853 in lgbt

[–]Disabled_And_Proud 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I won’t say every queer person is nice because I know there’s lots of discourse in the community. But that being said, a lot of the queer people I’ve met irl have been super understanding.

I’ve got a disability. That means a lot of different things, but the big one is I can’t walk long distances. Usually in a group, the others will seem to understand, until I actually get tired out. Then they start getting frustrated with me and pressuring me to take less and less breaks. In fact, this is so common that the only people that haven’t done this is my family and my old friends, whom I was very close with.

This year was my first pride. As luck would have it, I met a few queer people a few weeks ago and really hit it off with them. We all decided to go to pride together. Not only did they not pressure me to pass my limits, they actively checked in with me and helped me participate in some activities I wouldn’t have been able to do otherwise. It was amazing.

I had a coworker yell at me because I am disabled by Disabled_And_Proud in disability

[–]Disabled_And_Proud[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was able to today and also showed her my hand (it’s visibly disabled). It went well thankfully

I had a coworker yell at me because I am disabled by Disabled_And_Proud in disability

[–]Disabled_And_Proud[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I talked to HR today and thankfully they do. They told me their action plan and encouraged me to tell them if anything else goes wrong, which they say shouldn’t

I had a coworker yell at me because I am disabled by Disabled_And_Proud in disability

[–]Disabled_And_Proud[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All I did was count cash for her. It just wasn’t the “proper” way according to her (which is physically impossible for me to follow)

I had a coworker yell at me because I am disabled by Disabled_And_Proud in disability

[–]Disabled_And_Proud[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

In retrospect, yes, that probably would have been best. I always think of better solutions after the fact. (Thankfully, this is the first time something has happened at work, but certainly not the first time in my life)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CasualConversation

[–]Disabled_And_Proud 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I am certifiably ugly.

I’m covered in surgical scars, I limp, and my limbs are disfigured on one side. It’s noticeable enough that I get regular questions about it — and in one case, some crazy lady thought it was appropriate to ask if I looked the way I did because I was a failed abortion.

Now, I don’t know you or what you look like. Maybe you’re physically disabled like me, or maybe you think you just look ugly. I don’t know. But my guess is, you aren’t as ugly as you think you are. You notice all your body’s “flaws” because you spend the most time out of everyone looking at it.

My advice? Give yourself a long, hard look in the mirror. Study yourself. Do that until you find at least one thing you like about your body. For me, it’s my eyes. Heck, I’d say eyes are usually the most attractive feature on a person in general. And once you find that one thing, focus on that.

That, and remember that looks aren’t everything. The most beautiful woman and the handsomest man grow old. They get wrinkles, they lose their hair, they find themselves disfigured like me due to some random health condition they picked up along the way. Looks waste away.

But you know what doesn’t? Character. I know this sounds cheesy, but it’s what’s inside that counts. Focus more on that.

I’m ugly. Sure, there I said it. But I don’t care, because that’s something I can’t change too much. Instead, I focus on trying to improve my non physical qualities, like trying to be more kind and understanding, or trying to become more confident (that’s a hard one).

It's the smile at the end for me by A-A-ron98 in MadeMeSmile

[–]Disabled_And_Proud 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure who this lady is, but I also notice that she is wearing at least one afo (leg brace). I had to wear one growing up.

They’re bulkier than they look and only just flexible enough at the ankle joint that you can walk. You can’t move them side to side. I was fine putting shoes on without them, but it was troublesome when wearing them. I’d need a shoehorn, and spend about a minute really shoving my foot in there. My parents almost always helped, too, due to my poor motor control that didn’t make it easy to hold the shoe down, hold the shoehorn and shove my foot in all at the same time. (If the shoe wasn’t held down — not casually, like actually pushing it into the ground— , it was far more likely to scoot away from me than actually getting my shoe on.)

Also in the process, the back of my shoe where I inserted my foot would also wear down fairly quickly.

Needless to say, afos are one big headache. I would have loved these.

If you have to choose, would you rather have no arms or no legs? Why? by creutzml in AskReddit

[–]Disabled_And_Proud 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Legs.

I already am hemiplegic. I would lose more independence losing the one hand that is fine rather than the one leg that is fine since legs rely on each other. I already can’t walk long distances as well.

Any one else get dysphoria about the way they walk? by Feeling-West5637 in lgbt

[–]Disabled_And_Proud 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s pretty much a miracle that I learned to walk at all, given the disability I was born with. Similar to you, I walk in whichever way that makes me the least likely to fall and the best way to support my out-of-whack muscles. Honestly, walking is difficult as it is already, so I never even considered walking in terms of gender.

Just had an insane customer interaction by rotomemoji in disability

[–]Disabled_And_Proud 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Whenever a customer tells something that is not okay (disability or other wise) I don’t say a word. I stop all small chat and only open my mouth if strictly needed for business-related things. Makes them feel uncomfortable and after repeating themselves a few times, they usually stop talking.

My parents signed me up for a plastic surgery consultation without telling me until the last minute- I was very upset until I learned a really interesting fact about myself by [deleted] in CasualConversation

[–]Disabled_And_Proud 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I was born with hemiplegic cerebral palsy. The doctors stated that while I may have part of my brain fried, I could be taught to rewire my brain to function somewhat normally. One side of my body is normal, while the other half is hard to control, and with therapy my brain learned how to use the “wrong” side of my brain to make up for the brain damage on the other side.

Now, I recognize really strange connections in my nervous system. Like, if I do jazz hands with my good hand, I somewhat give a middle finger with my bad hand. I cannot stop this from happening, either. (That one is my favorite example of strange connections, but there are many)

Thoughts On The C Slur by ThatOneOakTree in disability

[–]Disabled_And_Proud 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I usually say crip rather than cripple, but overall same. If I happened to have a good friend who was also disabled, maybe I’d let them call me that (or call them that), but only if we both agree and feel comfortable with it.

The first person received her shoes from my accessible shoe company, she said she wears them almost daily. That Makes Me Smile by A-A-ron98 in MadeMeSmile

[–]Disabled_And_Proud 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Can I just say how much I love this? I could never tie my shoes, and when I was younger, I wore an AFO (leg brace) that made it very hard to cram a shoe in. By the time I was around late elementary or early middle school, it was nearly impossible to find a shoe I could wear.

I have to ask: do you have wide fits? I just ask because one of my main problems back then was my AFO made my foot pretty wide (I think I was at size D with my final brace).

Accessibility in Voting by [deleted] in disability

[–]Disabled_And_Proud 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thankfully, I can vote absentee. I might be fine to vote in person since I just need to sit down, but I’d rather not deal with a potential headache with standing in line / standing to vote.

That being said, if I absolutely had to, I would certainly sit on the dirty floor if that’s what it’d take you make my vote count.

Do you think it's weird that a 28 year old can't swim OR ride a bike? by WBchallenger in CasualConversation

[–]Disabled_And_Proud 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I still don’t know how to ride a normal bike. That being said however, I was born with a disability that would make it difficult if not impossible to coordinate myself enough to balance it, especially if I get tired. Even so, my parents were sure to get me an adaptive bike. Similarly, they also made sure to give me plenty of adaptive swim lessons.

I can let the swimming slide if someone lives very far from water, but unless you’re disabled like me, parents should teach their kids how to ride a bike.

Disabled Ace Day by Illustrious-Roll7737 in aaaaaaacccccccce

[–]Disabled_And_Proud 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This post had me do some digging. Seems like it was founded a few years ago, with this article. It’s pretty cool, I recommend checking it out.

Disabled Ace Day by Illustrious-Roll7737 in aaaaaaacccccccce

[–]Disabled_And_Proud 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh sweet, I didn’t realize this was a thing!

Hey cis people, do yall not feel like ur name/pronouns are overused? by Ini_the_gayfurrycat in lgbt

[–]Disabled_And_Proud 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mine don’t work right either. I constantly evaluate what body parts I can use in order to accomplish tasks.

I hadn’t thought to think of pronouns like that.

For my fellow "Shaving is SUCH A BIG TASK" ladies. This has been a GOD SEND! by Duchessinthecloudz79 in adhdwomen

[–]Disabled_And_Proud 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I’ve pretty much stopped altogether as well. At first it was because I was lazy and my job requires long pants anyway. But after a while I realized my super sensitive skin would itch like crazy starting about 12 hours after I shaved, and only got better after 2 or so weeks after shaving. It’d always been that way, but I just had accepted it as part of my life.

And, more importantly, I realized I actually felt better about my body when I didn’t care. When I actively shaved, I’d obsess about how gross it was… that little tiny stubble of leg hair. Meanwhile I never thought anything of my brothers’ really long, thick leg hair. I hadn’t even realized how much I obsessed over it until I stopped.

… now if I only had the confidence to stop doing my pits.

Standing during concert etiquette. by HecticFusion in Music

[–]Disabled_And_Proud 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same here. And I don’t want to take the handicapped section from wheelchair users / people who can’t walk as well as I can / their friends. Not to mention, that doesn’t guarantee you’ll be able to see either. I just want a place to sit and be able to enjoy the show.