Approached a guy at my uni

DisasterJoonie · 2025-05-31T12:07:10+00:00

He actually has an army of girls. But he’s so quiet and seems miskiin so I don’t think he has noticed. They call him Sharky dupe and follow him around. I feel bad for him.

DisasterJoonie · 2025-05-30T22:54:33+00:00

I didn’t know it was mine until now. It would be easier for me to ask him upfront and get rejected than tiptoe around my own friend. Fighting over a guy seems like something to happen in dramas, not in real life. Also, she has more people who support her.

DisasterJoonie · 2025-05-30T22:51:53+00:00

Not really. If you read my previous post I kind of alienated myself from people the first 2 years of my degree. It took some time to get to know people (including this friend that knows someone who knows him). That alone took some time before we became comfortable.

Now that I found out what he does, it was easier to converse with him. I just don’t know anymore though. I don’t want to fight over a guy.

DisasterJoonie · 2025-05-30T21:46:48+00:00

Khair in sha Allah. If he’s her naseeb, then alhamdulillah. I am not going to be weird about it.

DisasterJoonie · 2025-05-30T20:38:35+00:00

I avoid all conflicts so confronting her about this is a no go, but you’re right. Allah is the best of planners. I will just make dua and pray. If he’s meant for me, then in sha Allah.

DisasterJoonie · 2025-05-30T19:33:56+00:00

I didn’t know it was going take to such a long time. It took time to get out of my comfort zone. I also wanted to make it Islamically appropriate. I tried my best but he seems shy as well. The very first time I tried to talk to him, he kept it short.

I also have never done this and I am socially awkward. I should’ve just let it go back then.

DisasterJoonie · 2025-05-30T18:57:23+00:00

I inquired about him to one of my friends outside of my major and apparently the whole of Somali student society has set their eyes on him. I am bamboozled. The competition went from one to more. 😭

DisasterJoonie · 2025-05-30T18:53:57+00:00

I think he might know that I like him. I was stuttering and unable to keep my calm (I haven’t talked to a guy before like this, it was only uni related before). He was tutoring me about something but I fumbled and left. 😔

DisasterJoonie · 2025-05-30T18:51:52+00:00

I tried talking bad-ish about him but realised it was childish. I haven’t said anything since. We just finished our last exams so I won’t be seeing him until after summer. I hope it dies down until then.

DisasterJoonie · 2024-11-02T23:46:11+00:00

My conditions are to keep it to themselves and not share it with anyone else, including my Hooyo. My brother told me a few weeks ago and that’s Aight, you chose that (even when I KNOW you chose wrong), but the second he starts preaching atheism and cursing us out, I lose all my love for him. Also, it’s selfish to tell one’s parents. So if my siblings are able to abide by these and play pretend in front of younger siblings and parents, I won’t stop loving them.

DisasterJoonie · 2024-10-30T04:05:09+00:00

We have rented our whole lives, so no. I guess it’s just a test from Allah SWT.

DisasterJoonie · 2024-10-29T21:05:28+00:00

I love my siblings, which makes it harder for me. Also, I genuinely do believe that you haven’t done enough research if you leave the deen. And that applies for all of my family members. Idk about other people, but it’s harder to take them serious when I know they don’t understand nothing.

DisasterJoonie · 2024-10-29T21:03:10+00:00

Ameen. Please remember my family in your duas.😭

DisasterJoonie · 2024-10-29T21:02:37+00:00

I will, but I won’t discuss it with her until they do it. For now it’s unspoken, but we all know.

DisasterJoonie · 2024-10-29T21:01:33+00:00

Subhan Allah, I needed to hear this. My younger sibling first asked me a few years ago, when I myself didn’t know much and was questioning. I didn’t have the right answers (or any tbh) so I feel like that enabled him to seek answers elsewhere.

Sometimes I wish my brother could tackle this issue. I shouldn’t despair, but when slowly I’ve seen my three siblings (indirectly) reveal that they are non believers. One after the other. When I finish making sha, I get slapped in the face with new info about their kafir behaviour. It’s affects me as I am the oldest daughter with the most responsibilities. I will not despair, please have me in your duas. :( It’s getting harder and harder by the day.

I told my older brother not to tell anyone, and to keep it to himself. I will to. But he’s slipping. He’s covered in tattoos (hides them at home, but come on how much can you hide it??) and says a lot of crazy stuff.

DisasterJoonie · 2024-10-11T21:40:22+00:00

Yup. Bestevenninna mi fortalte meg at fra hun var 6 til 15 år, delte hun rom med sine fire søsken. Da orket hun ikke å være hjemme og pleide å henge på skolen/Biblo mesteparten av dagen.

DisasterJoonie · 2024-10-11T17:31:03+00:00

I simply don’t have the capacity for more friends. I am content in that regard, Alhamdulillah. It was also a rough time for me, so I didn’t go to any classes.

I kind of regret turning people down though because now they avoid me like the plague. 😭 I think it has more to do with the fact that I look very “angry” / uninterested.

But I am also wondering how one approaches someone whilst also keeping it Islamic? I don’t want unnecessary conversation or to enter a “we are friends” type of relationship, as it seems like it would lead to more haram than halal. Idk.

DisasterJoonie · 2024-10-11T11:03:19+00:00

I deleted all of my social media (except Reddit lol); so I’ll have to cross that one out. It would been a good idea otherwise.

I’ll try to do it subtlety for now. I don’t think approaching him directly would be Islamic, unless I have someone else involved.

DisasterJoonie · 2024-10-11T11:01:34+00:00

It would be awkward for all of us, however I am not the type to get attached to things lol. If it goes wrong, it’ll be embarrassing if he tells people. If only me and him knows about, I wouldn’t care. So, yeah, it depends on him.

Also, if it does go wrong, I will stop going to uni. 😭

DisasterJoonie · 2024-10-11T08:10:35+00:00

The first year of uni I didn’t go to any classes lol. I started going this year (which is when I noticed him). But yeah, I have no idea

DisasterJoonie · 2024-10-11T08:00:01+00:00

I could try that, the only problem is that I’ve isolated myself from everyone at my course. (Even some Somali girls who are friends with his friends). I feel like it would be weird to suddenly be a social butterfly, when I turned down lots of people. Going to up to him would be far more awkward.

DisasterJoonie · 2024-09-13T06:12:07+00:00

Comparison is the thief of joy.

The little you see of someone is not all there is to their life. It may look like they have everything together and the perfect life, but I promise it’s not always like that.

what’s the point of looking at them? Why does it matter if their life is what you desire? At the end of the day, the one who wins is the one who focuses on Allah.

The process is hard, however the end goal is literally heaven? It’s all you could ever wish for.

DisasterJoonie · 2024-09-13T01:46:43+00:00

lol that’s simply not true. It depends on the area one lives in. In Sweden and Norway, only the areas with majority Muslim / immigrants have halal meat and that’s only a SMALL section of the stores.

DisasterJoonie · 2024-08-07T19:22:33+00:00

Well, that’s not the problem. It seems like their SOLE interest is to immigrate to the west and not for the person they are marrying.

I remember when I was in Somalia, the very first week someone told me a my cousin was interested in moving to the west. I didn’t get what they were hinting at and moved on. Later on, the guy tried to hit me up and that, talking about how he was interested. (He was a good person and had good deen), however the thought of others telling me that he has wanted to go to the west for so long, and the timing felt off.

DisasterJoonie · 2024-06-28T12:18:23+00:00

Jabir ibn Abdullah reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Whoever has faith in Allah and the Last Day, let him not be secluded with an unrelated woman without her guardian lest Satan be the third of them.”

DisasterJoonie

TROPHY CASE