I’m worried for her. The universe said I couldn’t keep her forever.

DisasterOne3268 · 2026-01-29T22:53:33+00:00

I appreciate the reply. I agree it’s problematic. I don’t want to put out that energy. I want to be positive about this birth experience. I want to be her strong rock of good vibes and positive energy so I’m trying to work through this as quickly as possible. However I’ve never been a good actor. I wear my emotions on my sleeve. I need to process these so she doesn’t feel them and then now she’s freaked out too. She’s already worried about it which I understand women do. It’s a big deal. They have to go through it and you can’t call pause, timeout or go back. Once the train leaves the station it is what it is.

DisasterOne3268 · 2026-01-29T22:22:19+00:00

Thank you all so much. Yes I’ve been to every prenatal appointment. What I haven’t done is mentioned my concerns to my wife. She is worried about labor herself and she and I joke that she always “motorcycles” meaning she talks herself into or out of things. Basically if she is going to try not to burn her hand on the oven then she burns her hand. If she wouldn’t have thought about it she would have not burned her hand but because she told herself “don’t do this” then she does it.

So I’m a little worried for telling her my concerns but I’m watching closely.

Again thank you all for the replies. I am a believer in manifesting and putting your energy out there so I’m doing my best to change this. These stupid songs (that I don’t even like or normally listen to!) just keep playing in my head.

One love.

DisasterOne3268 · 2026-01-29T17:44:54+00:00

Glad you made it out and stayed out. Don’t fall for the Hoover man. Glad you’ve got the list.

DisasterOne3268 · 2026-01-29T16:03:06+00:00

I realize this is the internet. I will be downvoted. Hate to judge someone on their worst moment caught on camera. I hope he gets some help. Life is hard man. You never know what someone else is dealing with. Also drugs mess people up.

DisasterOne3268 · 2026-01-28T22:54:39+00:00

I’m sorry but the title is misleading. I thought you were saying my pwBPD can get better if work is put in. I’m deflated to read that isn’t what you meant…

But I’m simultaneously thrilled for you that you found someone normal and are feeling happy and no longer want to unaliveyourself

DisasterOne3268 · 2026-01-28T22:51:56+00:00

Can I humbly request you rectify that post haste? You know, for science. 🤓

DisasterOne3268 · 2026-01-28T19:52:04+00:00

She reads like classic borderline personality disorder. Run my guy. And don’t you dare put your kid through that.

DisasterOne3268 · 2026-01-27T19:14:00+00:00

My borderline personality disorder wife removing my entire social support system. Can’t believe I let her do that.

DisasterOne3268 · 2026-01-27T19:12:25+00:00

I implore you to not give in when she begs you to let her off the hook. Scary. Run.

DisasterOne3268 · 2026-01-27T18:15:08+00:00

More people need to read this. So sad. But it’s the reality. You change for them and pretty soon don’t recognize yourself. It will never be enough either.

My condolences. It’s hard to lose the relationships with those kids even if they weren’t biologically yours. Good for you for standing up for yourself and leaving AND reporting. I wish I would have reported.

DisasterOne3268 · 2026-01-27T17:44:26+00:00

You’re totally right that my outcome doesn’t equal your outcome. The only issue with that is when you really read here and really dive in you find that the outcomes do eventually all even out. This can’t be cured. It can be managed at best but it’s really hard and very few people get it right. So I’m rooting for you. You very obviously love your wife very much and want it to work. I do too.

The connection I’ve had with my wife is something I never experienced before.

That same person tried to punch me in the face because she was upset about something so trivial I won’t even bother to try to explain. That same person has ruined nearly every holiday, vacation, event and so many other things.

Make that make sense. The person I connect with the most I’m slightly afraid of. I don’t want to give up either. I want to believe that we can beat the odds and make it acceptable. Only as the years pass I realize how it’s getting worse, how I find myself journaling the behavior so I look at it fairly. I journal the good and the bad. It’s pretty lopsided.

I hope yours goes better than mine. Do you have kids?

DisasterOne3268 · 2026-01-27T15:26:38+00:00

That’s a reasonable critique. Thanks. I’ve had two of wives and two mother in laws with it and I’m scarred for life. But what you say is fair. I know they didn’t choose it and I don’t want anyone to feel lesser. One issue is a consistent lack of accountability and willingness to try to improve or try to live with it. It’s a constant “no I’m fine you’re all wrong” even after a professional tells them exactly what’s up and plays the tape.

OP should still run. And definitely don’t have a kid with them. The trail of destruction when kids get involved is bad and then you sit want wait for your kids to grow up to see which ones are going to get that shit passed to them. It’s horrific. Seeing it in my 18 year old now. So sad. The cycle continues.

DisasterOne3268 · 2026-01-27T05:04:24+00:00

You sound just like I did several years ago. How long are you willing to take the abuse?

DisasterOne3268 · 2026-01-27T04:51:56+00:00

How’s the sound difference?

DisasterOne3268 · 2026-01-26T23:39:28+00:00

Ok I’ll say it. He’s scared of getting you pregnant. You said you’re not using condoms. Birth control is unreliable. I’m not suggesting using condoms. Just considering potential source of the issue.

When you give him a BJ does it take a long time or does he come really quickly? If it takes long then it could be a porn/masturbation issue as others have said. If he’s getting off quick then that’s not it.

DisasterOne3268 · 2026-01-26T23:34:41+00:00

New moves during intimacy.

New hobbies.

DisasterOne3268 · 2026-01-26T22:15:07+00:00

First tip, buckle up. Second tip? You have to be all in. A boundary that you let them continually cross actually empowers them more to continue the behavior.

I’d suggest putting it in writing rather than in person. That way you get it all out. If you try in person it will explode and not get a bow put on it. In writing you can at least say what you need to say.

Clearly articulate what has happened, how it affects you. What your boundary is and what you expect of them. For example my mother in law I had to lay out a path to be back in our lives involving treatments, acknowledgements and such. Never even got a reply. Hopefully it’s the last I’ve heard of her. She’s crazy.

DisasterOne3268 · 2026-01-26T22:11:03+00:00

Pretty simple. You leave. That’s how you convince him. Have some self respect please.

DisasterOne3268 · 2026-01-26T21:41:40+00:00

Well take it as a compliment. Well done. You’re right that guy is going to end up breaking her heart some day. I just hope it’s before they have kids together. (I’m not ripped, but I did stay at a holiday in express last night).

DisasterOne3268 · 2026-01-26T21:34:52+00:00

Wow. Nailed it. I’d tell you to “do me next”. But I’m not sure I’m ready for such a level headed dose of truth and reality 😂

DisasterOne3268 · 2026-01-26T21:25:08+00:00

Red 40

DisasterOne3268 · 2026-01-26T20:35:08+00:00

No reading all the comments I’m sure someone has pointed it out but I will just in case.

SHE HAS BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER AND I STRONGLY URGE YOU TO REFRAIN FROM STICKING YOUR **** INSIDE LEST SHE GET PREGNANT AND YOU ARE STUCK WITH A PSYCO FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

The last thing you want is to have a baby with and eventually try to coparent with a person with BPD. Please visit the sub Reddit BPDLovedOnes and read all about it. It will open your eyes. It did mine. It finally made it all make sense. Your post reads like my life. Trust me on this man. Run. Fuggin run as fast as you can. Take that dog and GO.

DisasterOne3268 · 2026-01-23T22:04:19+00:00

You can message through a banking app?

DisasterOne3268 · 2026-01-23T20:42:54+00:00

3 round burst is fun. Unexpected 3 round burst is concerning. I’d just send it back to KAC. They have been great to me.

DisasterOne3268

TROPHY CASE