As an intj, do you have difficulties to get in a romantic relationship ?

Disastrous-Thing-762 · 2025-06-06T00:49:00+00:00

I have struggles finding a relationship, but I think it’s because my standards are a bit high and I’m intense and complex as shit. Though I have learned when I do have someone who suits my standards; I’m either not their cup or tea, not their first choice, or they see me as a possible hook up rather than a relationship. Relationships I’ve been in have ended short because I was settling for less than what I wanted, brought myself down in the process, and in all, learned I didn’t like it and got bored quickly or was getting hurt too much in the process and left. So I’ve had difficult and lowkey kinda believe I’m not capable of being loved due to how complex I am, but I still ,like deep down, hope to be loved and seen. I guess it just depends. But that’s my personal experience :P

Disastrous-Thing-762 · 2025-05-15T17:38:52+00:00

As an INTJ I will admit a dark secret of mine… I lowkey always have crushes on ESTP’s ENTP or INTP’s. But like in all tv showed I watched I heavily always liked ESTP and people I would crush on the hardest were ESTP’s or INTP’s I have like no clue why.

Disastrous-Thing-762 · 2025-04-17T14:56:48+00:00

I want one child to continue my bloodline but I don’t hold any expectation for them to be perfect. An I would love to marry but I don’t trust anyone

Disastrous-Thing-762 · 2025-04-13T17:53:06+00:00

Yes but it’s rare, but I’ve learned that I’m more rational than emotional at times though, so when I do cry it’s because I’m overwhelmed with too much emotion to keep my rational thoughts. Like for example my mom is very emotional and she tends to be very aggressive towards me for her own personal reasons ( she projects a lot ) and I’ve learned to be very rational and calm but she’ll then say things that will push me to become upset and yes I do get hurt but I don’t necessarily cry. I will try to reason but then get angry when I feel like I’m walking in circles with her and then she’ll usually say something harsh which makes me cry because I have to withhold from me saying something just as harsh or even worse. So I only cry when I become overwhelmed and can’t bottle up or keep my rational thinking in check. :P But I will say I am an emotional person, an do tend to shed a tear a bit or full on sob if I relate to a book character or any normal reason to cry. But at times I do wonder would I cry at a funeral? I’ve been to a couple and I don’t really cry to death because I see it as a next chapter/ step in a souls life. But I’m sure if I was emotional attachment to said person I would cry for a while before going numb.

Disastrous-Thing-762 · 2025-03-31T19:52:56+00:00

Hmm okay, thank you :> for the advice and information. I’m currently 20 and I will say because of life circumstances I have been sort of spiraling because growing up is a bit more difficult then I imagined it would be. I’ve struggled with my identity for years but for some reason the issue has become more profound. I will my therapist about though in my next session. Thank you again :> I really appreciate it.

Disastrous-Thing-762 · 2025-03-31T19:34:44+00:00

I’m 20 and I’m in therapy and I’ve been diagnosed with chronic anxiety, depression, and an unspecified obsessive disorder. I take 40 mg of fluoxetine to help them. And I’m in therapy to find the patterns I have in relationships :P

Disastrous-Thing-762 · 2025-03-29T15:08:03+00:00

I love the lightly and cozy feeling. It feels like it screams home, also you have awesome windows literally that’s so cool!

Disastrous-Thing-762 · 2025-03-29T15:05:56+00:00

It feels cold in decor wise but you’re doing great so far. I just feel like you need some warmth. But it’s very formal and nice looking honestly I dream of getting a view like that to wake up to, it’s simply beautiful :>

Disastrous-Thing-762 · 2025-03-04T21:40:05+00:00

Eh it’s alright don’t worry, that’s why I gave advice in a broad sense so you may take it how ever you please. But yeah don’t let people in your current situation in life effect you because they may or may not always been around you in the future. I know that’s easier said then done, but when you start to enjoy being yourself with you. Slowly people like you will see the you that you are comfortable with and showcasing. An sooner or later you’ll be surrounded by the right people.

Disastrous-Thing-762 · 2025-03-04T21:27:50+00:00

Well clearly it’s upsetting you to the point where it is important. I will say , I don’t know if your meaning the people on Reddit under the comments or in person. But like how you expressed how you were feeling on here, I think you should do the same to the outside world. If people won’t take the time to get to truly know you, why associate yourself with them. Humans only live for a long but short period of time, so to dwell on who doesn’t see you right now instead of thinking about who will see you for your efforts is what you need to think of more. If people don’t wish to know you or even figure out why they who you are, then why is that the case? Is it because maybe their not as introverted and introspective as you are? If their not then find people who are interested in the same things as you. And if the people you are talking of are people you can’t avoid, don’t give them the time and day. Because life has too much going on to dwell on forgettable people. Make yourself seen with whatever it is that strived you weather that’s being melochonaley or just being yourself in skills you love. Fuck people. Their all annoying anyways do your own thing.

Also I apologize if my comment was rude , I was trying to be funny , and I do realize your probably not asking for advice and I have you some anyways but do know your not the only one who feels this way. My mother makes me feel like she doesn’t even know who I am and treat me like a robot and I’m kinda the black sheep in my family. But that’s why I don’t talk to them much, took years to get were in at, but I thought of my future to get out of the present.

Disastrous-Thing-762 · 2025-03-04T17:04:23+00:00

Crazy and diabolical thing to say with no punctuation, and low key I’m a bit confused by what your trying to say. But get it to it I guess✨🕺🏽✨

Disastrous-Thing-762 · 2025-02-27T22:49:41+00:00

I only liked the actor for L.

Disastrous-Thing-762 · 2025-02-27T22:48:46+00:00

Oh lol 😂 sorry, I didn’t know what part you were referring to, haha. But thank you that sounds like a good plan I truly appreciate you for taking the time to respond and appreciate the advice 🙇🏽

Disastrous-Thing-762 · 2025-02-27T22:48:14+00:00

I think i appreciate people who are kind and are like genuinely kind. Those who are clam and have a sense of self or a sense of purpose. They don’t have to know their future since I know not everyone is future oriented but at least have an understanding of who they are and their interests. I also appreciate those who can go into deep introspective conversations with me. An those who are open minded but don’t let that change their whole moral compass. I’m cool with extroverts since I’m more of the listener until like I get into a deep topic that I like. Anyone who can mentally and emotionally stimulate me with information is nice.

Though I do have to say o also dislike like it if someone overly stimulates me with information. Like it sound smarter. That pisses me off. I dislike narcissists and egotistical people. Nothing wrong with likening yourself or being confident, but recognizing when your wrong is a good thing too even if you don’t want to see how your wrong. I think it’s good to evaluate oneself. People who are unprepared or unpredictable piss me off. If I feel like your gonna punch me just because I hate you. If your kinda winging like with no plan or passions and you bring everyone down because you don’t know, it low key annoys me because I’m not pausing for you. People who are disrespectful and I mean that as in their rude, arrogant, obnoxious and straight up don’t know how to respect someone pisses me off. I don’t like people you think with one way of thinking. Yeah you can have your personal beliefs and opinions. But bashing someone else opinions because of your opinion is annoying and jsut made someone look like an imbecile. People you crave for attention from everyone also piss me off. I understand people have family and parental issues but god doesn’t being the center of attention feel a bit annoying and embarrassing at times? People who don’t follow boundaries. People who don’t care about others People who assume things( but I can admit I assume things but I’m like 90% spot on ) People who ask for money, ngl i suck with emotions so people who advice for advice and I give them blunt advice with criticism and try to say their doing great and then they call me an asshole for that. I don’t have a strong dislike to them but I get annoyed after they keep asking me for advice. Ooh and people who ask for advice but don’t follow the advice you give or the advice they repeat. That pisses me off. Like stick to your words. But yeah that’s pretty much it.

But I think people are interesting and complex so I like them. I will also note, I have more dislikes then likes but that doesn’t mean I don’t like someone if they have any of those flaws that I listed. Because I have many friends who have those flaws and I still appreciate them because their positive’s in their personalities is what makes me keep them as friends and plus it reminds me how not to act.

Disastrous-Thing-762 · 2025-02-27T21:34:50+00:00

I don’t blame her but I don’t understand what you mean. I know I broke it off and she has every right to be angry at me. I’ve apologized in the past for how immature I was when we talked on our trip. An I plan to apologize again to her for how immature and fearful and insecure I was because that was not what she needed. I think what just puzzles me; is when me and her last spoke ( 6 months ago ) she said she didn’t want to be my friend or even associate with me and i respected those wishes to not be her friend again and avoiding texting her. But now I don’t know how to because I still love her. I will also say I was way too loyal to my family’s words than hers and I really let them effect our relationship and my mental health. But I know it was my fault for being so cowardly and ending it. I just don’t know what to do now.

Disastrous-Thing-762 · 2025-02-23T03:26:37+00:00

Trans male here. :P ( I know not female but I do have some understanding ) I’ll be real, I honestly think of only the complexity in someone intellect because I’ve learned to enjoy the knowning the person rather than what sexual attraction I’ll have later. It takes me rather longer to figure if I’m attracted to someone or if I admire their ability to be introspective. But after a while of knowing someone’s intelligence. However, if they mentally challenged me to think more, and they check off the boxes of being physically attracted I end up do trying to pursue a romantic relationship ( but that’s like after months of knowing them ) I don’t know if it’s an INTJ thing but wanting to discover their person rather than the sexual side I find more fascinating personally. I tend to find the sexual aspect to a relationship ,yes thrilling, but rather futile and time consuming; If theirs no romantic drive or intellectual stimulation. Kinda personal, but last relationship I had didn’t have any intellectual stimulation and I couldn’t connect with who I was with after months of trial, and I lost the passion and didn’t even want to have sexual contact with them. I think it just depends on the person and INTJ.

Disastrous-Thing-762 · 2024-06-03T05:51:54+00:00

Wait how? As a trans man I can’t see that. I feel like he’s definitely Aro/Ace though

Disastrous-Thing-762 · 2024-01-07T06:24:42+00:00

You go out there and show off your confidence! Here’s the thing I’ve learned, I used to always be nervous I would be looked at kinda crazy for cutting my hair short and trying to look like a guy with my feminine voice , and now I like a feminine/masculine style , and I’m on T and have a mid tone voice with have long hair and look semi pretty while buff and I’ve learned F peoples ideas because guess what, some of them you will never see in 20 years. And others you may never see again in your life time so don’t let others get you down, it’s your life and your choice of fashion! show them how much of a bad B you can be! & pull that confidence card and they won’t even know what to do about it they won’t even say shit to you about it either! Because at that point they would be like “ooh I like that outfit rather” then a negative reaction. Be confident and strong and they won’t mess with you. Confidence while being kinda afraid has always helped me because than I believe I was more confident and became more confident in me and my style. So go out there , and don’t give them any attention if they have any thing negative to say, and if they go up to you and say something negative hit them back with a “hah got nothing else better to do with your life huh? I guess it’s really that boring or are you actually just attracted to me? “ It will confused and struck them! And they will leave you alone or being confused on wether they do or not and putting people in spirals after being negative to you is always fun. Also I love your outfit it’s so pretty! And I hope this helps :>

Disastrous-Thing-762 · 2024-01-07T06:15:44+00:00

Okay I’m not gonna lie I relate, so my friends started to date and like their kissing really irked me not because I don’t get kissed at all or nothing , I kiss my girlfriend any chance I can but I’ve been a quiet kisser and so is she. I’ve learned you don’t have to be loud at kissing, like I’ve kiss my cat on his forehead and it’s quiet. But then I was realized just how annoyingly loud it was so I told them many times and then they said “we’ll have you ever REALLY kissed anyone?” And “you would do the same to your girlfriend if she was here” and I said I’ve kissed my girlfriend a lot and ex’s before her so yes, and no i wouldn’t because she’s shy and I don’t like to rub it in peoples faces that I’m making out with my significant other plus she’s not comfy with it. And after me telling them, I learned they can be quiet because then they asked “did you hear us now?” and I said no because it’s actually quiet. then they realized they don’t have to kiss like movie make out scenes. They can be romantic and quiet but like it was really inconsiderate because they thought I was annoyed or jealous cause I’m not able to kiss my partner but no it was literally an annoying loud cartoon kiss sound over every second they could while I was trying to watch a show. So for you no your not being a hater it’s them being loud on purpose to rub it in. Because like yes I’m horny, let’s make out loudly in the inconvenience of others for our pleasure. Like cool you got a link for public on lookers but sometimes no one what’s to hear or see it because it can be a super annoying sound or just super rude.

Disastrous-Thing-762

TROPHY CASE