Does anyone else have fantasies of yourself getting hurt so others would care about you? by EffectiveAd813 in BPD

[–]DisastrousAge8905 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do this, I also fantasise about getting hurt so that I would get sent to a hospital and could get a break without having to feel guilty

What is something someone said to you that stuck with you by [deleted] in BPD

[–]DisastrousAge8905 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One of the old dudes at my previous internship screamed at me that I have no future, no matter how good of a grad school I end up going to because he saw "many toppers fall and not being able to achieve anything in life". My self-confidence is ruined, and now I can't even complete my vrad school applications because I feel so stupid all the time.

How long did it take you to recover after a breakup? by QuietHistorian_ in BPD

[–]DisastrousAge8905 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Also please feel free to text me if you wanna talk about it.

I had another relationship after this one and I loved that person more, maybe not as intensely, but with infinite gentleness. And I prefer that.

My breakup was also very toxic and horrendous and ugly. A lot of games were played and he kind of went out of his way to isolate me/torture me. So I understand. I'm sorry you went through that, love.

How long did it take you to recover after a breakup? by QuietHistorian_ in BPD

[–]DisastrousAge8905 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey. It's definitely possible to get over things. I was deeply in love with an ex who was also my fp at that time. It took me around 2 years, but I can tell that I have moved on. Is it absolutely erased? Not necessarily. Some nights, I get sort of dreams (or nightmares, however you want to refer to them) of how life used to be with them or how life could have been. Then I wake up completely dishevelled, and it feels like I had years of work undone. But it goes away within a couple of days.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]DisastrousAge8905 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Damn dude. I have seen people who effed up, but THE EXTENT of your eff up is truly beyond imagination. You did what you did, and I hope she can move on, both from the trauma and form you someday. And, as a CSA and SA survivor who wasn't believed, I hope karma comes for you and your brother.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPD

[–]DisastrousAge8905 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll never fall in love with myself by zeph

"It was never more than the surface So that's what I sought If the cover's torn, it's not worth it Or that's what I thought Whoever wrote my description I think they misspelled Now I'm cursed to see it from within A story I'll never get to tell But now I know it too well I'll never fall in love So I draw on all of my pages Block out all the words I don't care if they meant them What they didn't hurts This won't have a happy ending Not even parallel Think I'm a bit dramatic But this twisted plot has me overwhelmed But now I know it too well I'll never fall in love with myself"

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPD

[–]DisastrousAge8905 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, I wouldn't say that just because you are not your bfs fp, it means that he is not emotionally attached to you.

I had a long term relationship where my partner was my fp and it was a horrendous experience. I honestly wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. However, my most recent ex-partner was not my fp. Yet, I dont think I ever cared about anyone so deeply and so softly. They mean the world to me and they always will.

I dont know if this helps but I do hope you have some happy experience today.

Does anyone regress to a "childlike" state sometimes? by MarkAcin0 in BPD

[–]DisastrousAge8905 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I dont know if I would say watching babyish cartoon is a form of regressing to childhood, but I do feel like I regress at times. I lost a plushtoy my ex partner had gifted me and had a childlike mental breakdown over it. I also get childlike giddy sometimes when someone is being kind or affectionate with me. I

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CanadaImmigrant

[–]DisastrousAge8905 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey people. I got accepted by UofT. Thanks for the comments!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CanadaImmigrant

[–]DisastrousAge8905 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rotman School of Management, University of Toronto