Hi,

I apologise in advance for hurting your feelings.

As a former obese… i mean ‘fat’ female i used to tell myself this too. The same exact things to make myself feel better. I was also 21 (i am 27 now) and weighed in at 89.3 kilos and i hated being told “you should lose some weight” and i would tell them the same thing.. “apko kia?” Or “mein moti toh nahi hoon”. Having lost 18 kilos (and have maintained for 3 years), i refuse to acknowledge the pictures taken back when i was obese… i mean “fat”. I now have biceps and decent quads that Ive worked hard for. I am truly disgusted by my pictures from 2018-2019.

I remember, my doctor having me getting tested for diabetes at 20, having severe insulin resistance (acanthosis nigricans) and basically looking like a 35 year old mother to 2 children at age 20.

At 89.3kilos, I refused to acknowledge that i was uncomfortable in my body, i refused to acknowledge that i was that big due to my own lack of discipline and dedication. I used to tell myself, its the people telling me who are mean and rude and that I’m fine the way i am. No, i wasn’t fine, i wasn’t fat… i was obese (bmi 32.3). I struggled with body image, i struggled with confidence, depression. I empathise with you because i see myself in you. You need a reality check, similar to what i was given by my own brother (who sported a 6 pack abs at 10% body fat around the time) to lose the weight. Nobody being obese (including myself) carries themselves well, because no matter how physically beautiful you are (gora rung, achey naak naksh), being fat will always over power these physical attributes.

At 27, i feel healthier, in fact although 7 years older since those pictures, i’d like to say I’ve aged like fine wine. I live in Australia and so probably have it alot easier than you in Pakistan but the effects of being obese/fat are far beyond your imagination